Bullying

Bullying

Bullying is when someone uses force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threat, aggression to abuse or dominate or intimidate. This kind of behavior is repeated, or often has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both parties, bullied and bully may have serious, long-lasting problems those if not resolved and addressed can hamper their lives in long run.

Signs and Symptoms of Bullying

Kid/adult bullied at school/work may show followings signs-


  • Loss of interest in day-to-day activities

  • Making excuses to not attend school/work

  • Decline in academic or work performance

  • Missing properties like stationary items, water bottle etc.

  • Change in appetite and sleep pattern

  • Crying spells

  • Mood swings

  • Becomes withdrawn or starts stammering

  • Showing anger now and then

  • Keeping quiet or staying alone unlike before

  • Avoiding social interaction, certain friends or people

  • In some cases bedwetting

  • Hiding bruises, cuts and scratches on body

  • Self harm act
  • Suicidal ideation in some cases


Types of bullying

  • Verbal bullying- Verbal bullying includes cruel spoken words i.e. different name calling, abusing, threatening and making disrespectful comments about someone’s religion, caste, ethnic groups, sexual orientation, appearance.
  • Physical bullying- This type of bullying involves aggressive, physical intimidation i.e. repeated hitting, slapping, kicking, tripping, punching, blocking someone’s way, pushing and touching in unwanted and inappropriate ways.
  • Relational bullying- Relational bullying involves deliberately stopping an individual from joining a particular group whether it’s a lunch table, game or a sport. All of this is done by spreading rumors and spoiling an individual’s reputation and asking others not to be a friend with him/her.
  • Cyber bullying- It is the most common type of bullying that involves harming someone by spreading mean words such as lies, false rumors through e-mails, text messages and social media post.


Myths and facts

Myth- Bullying is just a normal phase of life, everybody goes through it; I went with it and my kids will also.

 

Fact- Bullying is not normal at all or in any order socially accepted, it is us who give bullies a hand to continue in bullying by not raising our voice and further accepting this behavior by categorizing it under normality.

 

Myth- ‘If I will share anybody about bullying incident, it will lead to worsen of situations and bullies will make my life worse.’


Fact- There are many researches who have proven that if authority figures and peers are involved then it can lead to end of bullying era.

Myth- People are born bullies.

Fact- Bullying comes from imitating, hence it is a learned behavior and every learned behavior can be unlearned.



How do you know you need counseling/Therapy?

Some signs telling that your child is being bullied-

 

  • Un explained injuries marks, or hiding injuries marks like bite mark, scratches etc.
  • Stolen or damaged property often like water bottle, pencil box, toys, food etc.
  • Making excuses to not attend school or tuition.
  • Decline in academic performance.
  • Isolating himself/herself, avoiding particular situation or people or schoolmates
  • Mood swings, showing irritation, frustration, anger and sometimes keeping quiet, may have panic attack.
  • Feeling hopeless, helpless, self-harm behaviour, or suicidal ideation.
  • Disturbed sleep, insomnia, nightmares, fatigue, bed wetting, or sleepless nights.
  • Change in appetite, eating too much or eating nothing

Role of counseling & Therapy in dealing with bullying victims

Counselling and therapy sessions provides a supportive and safe environment for victims of bullying to address their feelings and emotion for bullying victims. Being a victim of bullying can result in difficult emotions and feelings such as anger, shame, low self-esteem and confidence, anxiety, and isolation.

Therapy is helpful to victims of bullying in many ways like notice, share, and process these painful experiences and overall feeling, which if left unresolved or unattended can negatively impact one's personal overall well-being. Some people who are victims of bullying may internalize it, that can show up in victim mentality, and learned helplessness which can cause challenges in one's relationships and one's sense of self.

A trained therapist can help a person by teaching them coping skills to move forward, such as assertive communication and personal boundary-setting. They can even get help from support help groups of people facing similar issues or have experienced same bullying.

Role of counseling & therapy for persons who bully

Therapy is also beneficial for people who bully.  They may show resistance in the starting, may be reluctant to acknowledge their bullying behavior openly. Therapy, will help them to understand how their hurtful behavior can impacts other people's life. Help them to explore reasons if there is any for why they bully, they can learn new skills for communicating assertively and positively with others, and address personal experiences if there is any that may have contributed to their bullying behavior.

It has been observed in most cases that bullies who have some unresolved personal wounds shows bullying behavior often, and addressing these emotional wounds or identity and social issues with a qualified therapist or professional with specialty in the area of bullying can be an integral step towards stopping bullying behavior.

How does TalktoAngel Help you in this matter?

TalktoAngel is an online platform that provides quality therapy and other mental health services online. We have qualified and experienced professionals working with us. Child and adolescents psychologists are one of our areas of expertise. We have experts and specialists who have successfully worked previously on such cases. Studies have proven that online mental health services are as effective as the conventional mode. Furthermore, at TalktoAngel, we put your needs first. We can help you with flexible appointments, personalized and customized intervention plans all at the tip of your fingers.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

  • Bullying is wrong, should not be normalize. It is not your or your child's fault. Everyone deserves to feel safe at school. Please find below, the steps you can follow in bullying situation. Speak up against bullying. Be firm and clear when you speak. Say something like “stop it”. Walk away. Try not to take it personally and make distance. Tell an adult you trust. Always report it to your parent, also to your teacher, counselor, or School Resource Officer. Stick together. Go out with your close and trusted friend who can help you to speak up and can get help for you if needed.
  • When you first get to know that your child is being bullied, it can make you upset naturally and its becomes hard sometimes for parents to concentrate on anything else. All you want is to make your child feel safe and secure. Following steps may help you how to react with bullying incident happened with your child: Stay calm. Surely it going to upset you but you need to show calmness and safe place to your child so they can share their experience with you. Try not to give shocking reaction to them instead give them ears to listen everything. Empathize with your child. It’s not their fault and no one deserves to be bullied. Show them love and tell them you are glad they had the courage to tell you. Ask open-ended questions. Ask question and let your child explain everything in detail. And try to understand the severity of the situation, in future also keep asking question if it is a reoccurring issue. Encourage your child to make new friends. Help your child make new friends. Help your child get them involved in activities to make new friends. Share your own experiences. Sharing your own experiences so they can do not feel alone. Brainstorm ways to solve the problem nonviolently. Encourage them to resolve issue assertively as retaliation may get your child hurt or suspended from school. Contact school officials to report any incidences. Document everything and stick to the facts. And with calmness proceed with school norms, try not to overreact or get involve in heated arguments as this may can counter attack and will obviously not help the child.
  • First step you can take is, to report directly to the class teacher about the bullying incident in detail, and let the teacher take the matter ahead. If teacher failed to take any helpful or required action you should talk to the principal of the school. If principle is not able to handle the situation or ignores it or you are not satisfied by their action you can contact to district school superintendent for the same.

Don't let Bullying affect your mental & emotional wellbeing. Speak to a Therapist to gain back your self-confidence against Bullying.

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