Childhood attachment refers to the bond that develops between a young kid and their primary caregiver. This partnership serves as the model for how a child will approach relationships throughout their lives.

Young child develops a secure attachment in their early years with a stable, predictable, constant, and dependable caregiver. An effective link is crucial, and a child may suffer if one is missing.

For whatever reason, kids who don't form solid bonds can end up with insecure or disordered attachments. Failure to trust caretakers and a Push/Pull interaction style that is needy one moment and occasionally violent and out of control the next describe this dysfunctional connection.

Childhood insecure attachment is brought on by unexpected, erratic, and inconsistent careers. This pathogenic or insufficient care poses a danger to disrupted connection. The youngster is less likely to build strong relationships when their basic needs are not satisfied.

Interacting with others is difficult for kids with attachment difficulties. For instance, because they have less faith in adults, kids may be less prone to seek out or respond to consolation. Other kids might be extremely clinging and attention-seeking toward adults they don't know or don't like.

Here are some of the more typical symptoms of attachment; however there are many different kinds.

• Lack of warm and loving interactions: Your child either doesn't warm up to you at all or does so slowly. You feel robotic when you go to hug someone. Any type of social contact could be hampered.
• Overly cordial with adults: your youngster will speak to or embrace a stranger as if they were a well-known and beloved relative. When frightened or ill, your child does not seek your comfort; instead, they turn to others.
• Overly dependent: Your child is unable to do even the smallest chore without you and never wants to leave you.
• Caregiver being ignored: your child isn't aware of your presence, isn't responding to your requests, or is coming to you for solace. Your child is taking care of others; rather than attending to their own needs, they are unduly concerned about you, another child, or a sibling. When you are softly but firmly enforcing the rules with your child, they may become bossy and violent.

Different forms of Attachment in children

• Secure attachment

When a child has a strong attachment, their caretakers can console them. They have faith that their caretakers will look after them and be there when they need them. Children who have a safe connection feel secure enough to explore the world and know they can turn to someone for solace in times of need.

Children who have strong attachments have learned that they will always be loved and taken care of. They live in a secure environment free from severe suffering and trauma, and they have supportive parents. We can meet this child's needs. These parents are patient, maintain a positive attitude, and set healthy boundaries and reasonable expectations. The importance of these parenting techniques increases when a child has a history of attachment difficulties.

• Insecure avoidant attachment

When their caregiver leaves, children with insecure and avoidant attachments become very upset and angry. When the caregiver returns, they encounter resistance. When comfort is offered, children with insecure-avoidant attachment do not get calm right away. These kids may be wary of strangers and less confident in exploring their surroundings.

• Anxious attachment

Children who experience uneasy attachment struggle to open up or show trust. They have a slightly unfavorable internal operating model, are somewhat insecure, and are moderately controlling. They'll either reject you or cling to you as a result.

• Disorganized attachment

Children with disrupted attachment are unable to receive consolation from their caregiver by expressing anxiety or by diverting the caregiver's attention. A youngster could behave in a domineering way toward their primary caregivers and provide improper care to others for their age. Children with disordered attachment sometimes struggle to trust and form intimate relationships with others. They might not show any regret, be harsh and vindictive, and lack a planned connection approach.

Even in the absence of abuse, autistic children can display a disorganized attachment. If a parent is terminally sick or their caregivers experience violence, it may also manifest in children.

• Reactive attachment disorder

Even during pleasant encounters, children with reactive attachment disorder frequently display negative feelings such as fear, despair, and impatience instead of positive ones. Children with RAD exhibit social avoidance, hostility, and erratic interactions with others that can abruptly change from cozy and familiar to irate and inflexible. These kids can be difficult to work with. Their problems stem from a lack of continuous and predictable caring as well as early, even prenatal, stressful exposures that made them distrust adults.

• Disinhibited social engagement disorder

Overly familiar behavior with adults is a symptom of disinhibited social engagement disorder. For instance, a youngster may engage in a push-pull engagement with their caregivers, cling to the accommodating parent by the pool, and then approach the neighbor's door and knock. They might ask to visit their home on the weekend after they meet a substitute instructor. Overly familiar conduct and a propensity to bond with people easily are characteristics of DSED.

It would be advisable to engage with a mental health expert who can help you and your child if you are worried that your child may not have a safe bond.

Children who exhibit violent behavior, harm animals, or refuse to communicate need specialized behavioral support and care. For advice on the best approaches, it is important to engage with a specialist skilled psychologist in treating attachment disorder and trauma.

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Contributed by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach &  Ms. Aditi Bhardwaj, Psychologist