Breadcrumbing Relationship

Breadcrumbing Relationship

February 26 2024 TalktoAngel 0 comments 137 Views

Breadcrumbing is an act in which one party offers the other just enough time, energy, attention, or affirmations that offer a few of the components necessary for a relationship. The act of breadcrumbing can be an indication of Emotional Abuse since it is a form of manipulation. Breadcrumbing refers to sending flirtatious, uninvolved social messages (i.e. "breadcrumbs") to try to draw a romantic partner into a Relationship without putting in a lot of effort. It's the act of leading someone along. It is a practice of letting someone know that you're leading them on romantically through online or electronic forums (think texting or social media) to keep their interest in your life, even if you don't intend to get romantically engaged with them. It's an emotional manipulation technique that is designed to make someone to be dependent upon you.

Red Flag that you're in a Breadcrumbing Relationship

  • They're not as interested in the relationship as you are. Breadcrumbs plans with you, but then cancel or do not attend to those plans, or they appear to be too busy for you. They could even be absent for extended periods. They're not too open about their lives. Breadcrumbers may be private about their lives and cause you to feel as if they're hiding something from you. They might talk about a few details about their lives to entice you and draw you closer but they won't go too personal with you or talk about their lives like you do. They're keeping you in a safe distance as they don't want you to be too intimate with them. They may also divulge a few personal details and you'll never think you know them.
  • It is impossible to know what status you have with them. Breadcrumbers can be inconsistent, and intermittent in their declaration of their interest in you. They offer them just enough to convince you that they're interested, and then they will break into total silence making you feel disengaged. If they suspect they could lose you, they pick up and pay attention again until they are satisfied that you've re-engaged.
  • They seem very close to you sometimes, but then they become cold. They take some time to reply to messages. They also aren't able to follow through on plans. When you have plans with them, they'll likely withdraw, often with an explanation of their inability to fulfill their word. This could lead to a pattern of having high hopes and getting eager to spend time with your partner and build your relationship, but then being completely dissatisfied and let down. It is difficult to comprehend how they behave or justify their behavior. They often leave you in a state of confusion or anger after having a conversation with them.
  • The actions of the breadcrumbersdon't align with what they say: There's certainly some truth to the notion that actions speak more loudly than words. The victims of breadcrumbing might become so focused on the amazing things they hear from their partner that they fail to think about taking a step back to assess if the person's actions are in line with their words. Breadcrumbers can keep you engaged without committing fully.
  • They'll message you but don't agree to set up a date: With breadcrumbers, it's typical to be stuck in a loop of flirty texts without plans to meet. This can confuse you because even if you request to set a date to meet, your requests could be rejected with excuses, unclear responses, or even a complete rejection wrapped in a cute wrapper that doesn't go anywhere.
  • They create spontaneous plans that usually revolve around sexual activity: Breadcrumbers can be big on call-to-arms. In the rare event that the breadcrumber is involved in plans, it's usually spontaneous and driven by sex. They may break their barriers down and be vulnerable with you in this moment however this isn't the case for long. Following the booty phone call then they return to their normal lives, without plans for the future with you, and don't make contact until they're ready for the next date.
  • You're embarrassed by yourself after spending time with them. Breadcrumbers can send you through a rollercoaster of emotions. They could like you or even compliment you, but they could also take you down. They may do this by strategies like offering you an idea of things you could perform that will make you more interesting, or even comparing your ex to them. The fact that you are in a relationship is not meant to cause you to feel guilty about yourself, generate feelings of low self-esteem or self-worth, or feel insecure or doubtful about whether you're good enough. If this has become a brand-new sensation for you in your relationships, you might be thinking about whether you're feeling this way due to being a breadcrumber.

How do you deal with breadcrumbs?

If you think you're being targeted by a breadcrumb If you suspect that you're being breadcrumbed, here are five strategies that will help you get through the day.

1. Do not think of it as a personal attack: Remind yourself that, even if the behavior is concerning you, it's not about you. Of obviously, this is much easier to say than do but it's something you need to be aware of.

2. Keep in mind what you're entitled to. Do not think that you are entitled to be treated badly or limit your own needs to keep a relationship going. This isn't sustainable or healthy over the long haul as it can cause you to feel down and decrease your self-esteem, Assertiveness, and confidence every time.

3. Set clear boundaries and communicate clearly. Establishing healthy boundaries is vital to any relationship that is stable and positive. Try to be specific about what you're seeking as well as what you'd like to achieve and what you're hoping for. You should know where you need to make a distinction in the relationship and know what you'll and will not accept. 

4. Determine if the relationship is worthwhile to continue. Have a serious look over your "relationship" and determine whether it's worthwhile to continue putting effort into it. If you decide that it is important to clearly define your limits, talk clearly with the breadcrumber. If they don't satisfy your needs or you decide to not even bother with the relationship, you must Breakup or break off the relationship and ensure you're able to connect with someone who can offer you the connection you need and deserve in a relationship.

Being aware of breadcrumbing relationships and their signs is the first step towards self-care. Set limits and make your intentions explicit to obtain what you want from them. If the breadcrumb isn't meeting your expectations, be aware of the moment that you have to end the relationship and find the things you deserve. Find help from an Online Relationship Counsellor to address any mental health concerns you may be experiencing as a result of your relationship.

Contribution by: Dr (Prof) R K SuriBest Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach & Mr. Utkarsh YadavCounselling Psychologist



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