Family conflicts can arise from various problems that the family is facing. Conflicts often occur during transition within the family and are usually related to personal values ?? and ideals. One of the main factors affecting conflict is the power to make decisions in their relationship, and when people fight for this power, conflict often arises. The most common causes of family conflicts include:

1. Lack of communication: A lack of open communication between family members is one of the most common causes of conflict. This often results in family members not having their needs and wants, or even feeling like they are not worth sharing. Conflicts also escalate when communication breaks down. Too often, each side assumes the worst for the other, without seeing the full picture of the conflict.

2. Finances: How and where to spend money is often a contest between couples and even entire families. Different people will have different goods or services that they value and want to contribute to, and these differences often cause conflict in families. This can lead to decades-long conflicts, as siblings argue over how to spend the family's money, or spouses often disagree over how to spend it.

3. Domestic work: Another common cause of family conflict is the way work is distributed among family members. It could be who is going to work, who is going to look after the children, who is going to look after aging parents, or who is going to sweep the floors. These conflicts are usually minor, but they can persist for a long time if not adequately resolved.

4. Differences in values: This conflict is more likely to arise in marital conflict or parent-child conflict. This happens when a party has different values ??- political, moral, or social - and these values ?? affect how the parties interact. This is especially prevalent now, as more and more families are divided politically. This type of conflict can be incredibly destructive if not handled properly and will likely always cause friction unless one party changes its mind.

5. Merging Families: Conflicts often arise when two families merge. This can happen when two adults with children get married and merge their families, or when a couple gets married and now has an in-law. These conflicts are often due to differences in family dynamics and rules. These conflicts are often difficult for newly formed families and can last for decades if left unresolved.

While this list is certainly not exhaustive, it does cover some of the basic areas that can lead to family conflict. Identifying the cause of a problem often helps the family to deal with the problem appropriately and learn to overcome it.

The Impact of Conflict on the Family

Now that we have a basis for recognizing what conflict is and where it comes from, let's look at the impact of conflict on the family. When families deal with conflict constructively and seek to resolve it, these effects are often reduced and the family can coexist. However, when a family deals with conflict in a destructive way or faces ongoing conflict, these effects can have long-term adverse effects on the family. Some of the consequences of conflict on families are:

1. Strained Relationships: Even the healthiest relationships experience strain from time to time. A sign of destructive conflict, however, is chronic strained relationships. This often leads to a breakdown in relationships and trust within the family, which leads to various other effects.

2. Exaggerating strengths and weaknesses: When parties are often in conflict, one party will try to overwhelm the other through manipulation and threats. If this continues over time, the claimant dominant party may exercise some control over the weaker party. This is especially exaggerated when one party already dominates the other.

3. Mental Health Issues: When a family faces conflict, particularly if not handled properly, one or more family members may develop mental health issues such as anxiety or depression as a result. This is especially typical among youngsters whose parents are frequently at odds.

4. Physical health issues: Like mental health issues, some physical ailments can be linked to continued exposure to conflict. These can include digestive problems, heart disease, sleep disturbances, and tooth and gum disease. Although conflict is not the only reason, constant stress in a family can often cause members to neglect other areas of life.

5. Repetitive conversations and patterns: When a family deals with conflict over a long period, it develops a rhythm to handle all the interactions that may arise between the parties. The same conversations often repeat each time the parties meet, with little or no change in the outcome.

6. Dehumanization of others: Another effect of conflict is the tendency to dehumanize others. Because conflict tends to be everyone's main concern, they tend to associate it with a person rather than a problem. When a person becomes synonymous with conflict, they begin to feel more like a villain and less like a person to the person making the assessment.

In conclusion, navigating through family conflicts can be a challenging journey, but it's essential to address them constructively to mitigate their detrimental impacts on familial relationships and individual well-being. The effects of prolonged conflict within a family can manifest in strained relationships, exacerbating strengths and weaknesses imbalances, and contributing to mental and physical health issues. The repetitive nature of conflicts and the tendency to dehumanize others only deepen the rifts within the family unit.

Recognizing the signs of destructive conflict and its repercussions is the first step toward resolution. If you are dealing with family conflicts, consider seeking professional help through online counselling.

Online therapy or Counseling offers a safe space for families to explore their dynamics, understand each other's perspectives, and develop effective communication and conflict-resolution strategies. Therapeutic approaches such as family systemic therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy can aid in fostering healthier relationships, managing stress, and promoting emotional well-being.

By investing in therapeutic support from the best psychologist in India, families can cultivate a nurturing environment where conflicts are addressed with empathy, understanding, and mutual respect, ultimately strengthening familial bonds and fostering growth and healing.

Contributed by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach &  Ms. Aditi Bhardwaj, Psychologist