Delayed Grief: Symptoms, Causes, and Therapy

September 17 2024 TalktoAngel 0 comments 1222 Views

Grief is a natural response to loss, and while many people experience it immediately following a death or significant loss, some may find that their feelings of grief remain buried or postponed. This phenomenon, known as delayed grief, can surface unexpectedly weeks, months, or even years after the loss. In this blog, we’ll explore delayed grief in detail, covering its symptoms, causes, and therapeutic interventions, with insights from research studies and expert recommendations.

Understanding Delayed Grief

Delayed grief is a form of complicated grief where the emotional and psychological responses to a loss are suppressed or postponed, only to resurface later. While traditional grief often begins shortly after the loss and follows a more expected emotional trajectory, delayed grief disrupts this pattern, causing the individual to seem unaffected initially, only to experience intense grief later.

Symptoms of Delayed Grief

Recognizing delayed grief is crucial, as it often doesn’t follow the typical stages of mourning. Although they can vary, the symptoms could include:

Intense Emotional Outbursts: The grief may manifest suddenly, with episodes of intense sadness, anger, or despair, often out of proportion to the triggering event.
Difficulty Concentrating or Functioning: Individuals may find it hard to focus on daily activities or responsibilities, as their grief disrupts their mental and emotional equilibrium.
Numbness or Detachment: The person may have initially felt emotionally numb or detached from the loss, but as time goes on, they may experience growing feelings of emptiness or disconnection.
Physical Symptoms: Grief can manifest physically in the form of headaches, fatigue, gastrointestinal issues, or changes in sleep and appetite.
Depression and Anxiety: Depression and anxiety symptoms can arise from delayed bereavement, especially if the grieving individual has unresolved feelings related to the loss.
Difficulty Accepting the Loss: Even years after the event, the person may have difficulty acknowledging the finality of the death, leading to emotional distress when the reality of the loss resurfaces.

Causes of Delayed Grief

Delayed grief can be triggered by a variety of factors, both internal and external. Understanding the causes can help individuals and professionals identify and address this type of grief more effectively.

Cultural or Societal Expectations:- In some cultures or family systems, there may be implicit or explicit pressure to “stay strong” or avoid outward displays of grief. Individuals may suppress their grief to meet these expectations, leading to delayed emotional processing. A study by Worden (2009) noted that societal pressure to “move on” from grief can cause individuals to repress their emotions, leading to complications later.
Overwhelming Responsibilities:- Some people may delay their grief because they have immediate responsibilities, such as caring for children, handling funeral arrangements, or managing the practical aftermath of the loss. In these cases, they push aside their feelings to focus on the needs of others. Once those responsibilities are lifted, the grief may suddenly appear.
Traumatic or Unexpected Loss:- When a loss is sudden, traumatic, or unexpected, the shock can prevent an individual from fully processing the event at the time. In the case of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or traumatic grief, the person may initially focus on survival or the logistics of the event, only to experience grief later.
Avoidance or Emotional Numbing:- Some individuals may use avoidance or emotional numbing as a coping mechanism, either consciously or unconsciously. This can occur through distraction, addiction to substances, or excessive work. These methods serve to temporarily block the intense emotions associated with grief, but over time, the unresolved grief can resurface in more intense or disruptive ways.
Loss During a Time of Crisis:- If the loss occurs during a time of personal crisis, such as divorce, illness, or financial difficulty, the grief may be overshadowed by other immediate concerns. The person may not have the emotional capacity to address their grief until the crisis has passed, leading to a delayed response.
Inability to Grieve Immediately:- Certain losses may occur under circumstances where immediate grief is not possible, such as during war, emergencies, or when a person is geographically separated from the deceased. The individual may not have the opportunity to grieve at the moment and might suppress their emotions until they are in a safer or more stable environment, causing the grief to resurface unexpectedly.
Complicated Grief and Attachment:- For individuals with strong emotional attachments to the deceased, such as a parent, spouse, or child, the loss can be overwhelming. They might avoid confronting their grief for fear that the intensity of their feelings will be too much to handle, delaying the grieving process.

Therapy and Treatment for Delayed Grief

Addressing delayed grief requires a compassionate, multifaceted approach that helps individuals acknowledge and process their emotions healthily. Therapy can be an essential tool in this process, allowing individuals to explore their grief in a supportive environment.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a widely used approach in grief counselling. It focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns that may contribute to delayed or complicated grief. By helping individuals reframe their thoughts and confront their emotions, CBT allows them to process their grief in a structured way.
Grief Counseling and Support Groups:- Traditional grief counselling, whether individual or group-based, can provide a safe space for individuals to express their emotions. Support groups allow individuals to share their experiences with others who have gone through similar losses, creating a sense of community and shared understanding.

Trauma-Informed Therapy:- For individuals whose delayed grief is rooted in trauma or PTSD, trauma-informed therapy can be a valuable approach. This type of therapy focuses on understanding the impact of trauma on the individual’s emotional and psychological state and helps them process both the trauma and the associated grief.

Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) :- Mindfulness practices, including Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), can help individuals become more aware of their emotions and physical sensations, allowing them to process their grief without becoming overwhelmed.

Narrative Therapy:- Narrative therapy encourages individuals to explore their grief by constructing a coherent narrative of their loss. This process helps them to make sense of their emotions, find meaning in the loss, and ultimately integrate the grief into their life story. For those experiencing delayed grief, narrative therapy can be particularly helpful in revisiting and reprocessing the loss in a more structured and therapeutic way.

Conclusion

Delayed grief is a complex and often misunderstood form of mourning that can emerge long after a loss has occurred. Recognizing the symptoms, understanding the causes, and seeking appropriate therapeutic interventions can help individuals healthily navigate their grief. Whether through cognitive behavioural therapy, grief counselling, or expressive therapies, addressing delayed grief requires patience, empathy, and professional support.

If you or someone you know is experiencing delayed grief, reaching out to the Best therapist or counsellor can be the first step toward healing. Online counselling services, such as TalktoAngel, offer accessible support for those who may not be able to attend in-person sessions. Seeking help from the best psychologist in India can also provide valuable guidance. With the right support, it is possible to process even long-buried emotions and move forward in a healthier, more balanced way.

Contributed by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach & Ms. Anurag Kaur, Counselling Psychologist

References:

Bonanno, G. A., & Kaltman, S. (2002). The varieties of grief experience. Clinical Psychology Review, 22(5), 705-734.
Prigerson, H. G., Frank, E., Kasl, S. V., Reynolds, C. F., Anderson, B., Zubenko, G. S., ... & Kupfer, D. J. (1999). Complicated grief and bereavement-related depression as distinct disorders: Preliminary empirical validation in elderly bereaved spouses. American Journal of Psychiatry, 156(6), 1000-1006.
Shear, M. K. (2015). Complicated grief. New England Journal of Medicine, 372(2), 153-160.
Worden, J. W. (2009). Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner. Springer Publishing Company.