It's simple to forget how crucial friendship is when negotiating the complexity of relationships and love. We often focus on the romantic aspects, the passion, and the excitement but forget that a strong foundation of friendship truly makes a relationship last. In this blog, we'll delve deeper into the significance of friendship in love, how it forms the basis of a romantic relationship, and how it can either make or break the bond between two people.

The Importance of Friendship in Love

Friendship is the unsung hero of romantic relationships. It's the glue that holds two people together, providing comfort, trust, and companionship. When we think of our ideal partner, we often envision someone who is our lover and best friend. Someone who understands us supports us, and makes us laugh. A solid friendship serves as the cornerstone of a happy and healthy love partnership.

The Basis of a Romantic Relationship

In essence, a romantic connection is a more profound kind of friendship. It's a bond that's built on mutual respect, trust, and affection. When we're in a romantic relationship, we're not just looking for someone to share our lives with; we're looking for someone to share our thoughts, feelings, and experiences with. We want someone who will be our partner in every sense of the word, someone who will support us, encourage us, and be there for us through thick and thin. The presence of a supportive partner can help alleviate feelings of loneliness, reduce stress, and provide comfort during times of anxiety.

How Friendship Affects a Romantic Relationship

Friendship plays a crucial role in the success of a romantic relationship. When two people have a strong foundation of friendship, they're more likely to:

• Communicate effectively: Friends communicate openly and honestly with each other, and this is especially important in a romantic relationship. Both spouses are better able to handle disagreements and difficulties when they feel free to express their ideas and emotions. Effective communication helps to prevent misunderstandings, resolve issues, and build trust.
• Trust each other: Trust is the backbone of any successful relationship, and friendship helps to establish this trust. When we feel like we can rely on our partner, we're more likely to feel secure and confident in the relationship. This security can reduce stress and improve overall emotional well-being, making it easier to manage sleep difficulties and anxiety.
• Support each other: Friends support each other through life's ups and downs, and this is especially important in a romantic relationship. When both partners feel like they have each other's backs, they're more likely to feel like they can conquer anything together. Support can take many forms, from emotional support during difficult times to practical support in everyday life.
• Laugh together: Laughter is a powerful bonding agent, and friends know how to make each other laugh. When we can laugh together with our partner, we're more likely to feel connected and happy in the relationship. Laughter helps to diffuse tension, creates shared memories, and brings joy to our lives.

The Benefits of Prioritizing Friendship in a Romantic Relationship

Prioritizing friendship in a romantic relationship can have a profound impact on the success and longevity of the relationship. Some of the benefits include:

• Deeper emotional connection: When we prioritize friendship, we're more likely to form a deeper emotional connection with our partner. A deeper emotional connection allows us to feel seen, heard, and understood by our partners, which is essential for a fulfilling relationship. Feeling understood and supported can also improve self-esteem, as it validates our worth and strengthens our emotional well-being, reducing the risk of depression and isolation.
• Increased intimacy: Friendship helps to create a sense of intimacy and closeness in a relationship. When we feel like we can be our true selves around our partner, we're more likely to feel comfortable and connected. Physical proximity is only one aspect of intimacy; emotional proximity and vulnerability are equally important.
• Better conflict resolution: Friends know how to resolve conflicts healthily and constructively. When we prioritize friendship, we're more likely to approach conflicts with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to listen. Conflict resolution is an essential skill in any relationship, and friendship helps us to develop this skill.
• Greater sense of commitment: When we prioritize friendship, we're more likely to feel committed to the relationship. We're more likely to feel like we're in it for the long haul and that we're willing to work through challenges together. Commitment is essential for a successful relationship, and friendship helps us to build this commitment.

Challenges of Prioritizing Friendship in a Romantic Relationship

While prioritizing friendship in a romantic relationship can have numerous benefits, it's not without its challenges. Some of the common challenges include:

• Blurred lines: It can be difficult to navigate the line between friendship and romance. We may struggle to define what's acceptable in a romantic relationship versus what's acceptable in a friendship. Confusion, miscommunications, and conflict may result from this.
• Different expectations: We may have different expectations for our partner as a friend versus as a romantic partner. We may expect more emotional support, intimacy, or commitment from our partner in a romantic relationship. Conflict, dissatisfaction, and disappointment may result from this.
• Balancing roles: We may struggle to balance our roles as friends and romantic partners. We may feel like we're being pulled in different directions or that we're not meeting our partner's needs in one or both areas. This may result in worry, burnout, and guilt.

Overcoming the Challenges

While the challenges of prioritizing friendship in a romantic relationship are real, they're not insurmountable. The following advice will assist you in overcoming these obstacles:

• Communicate openly: Communication is key in any relationship. Be careful to discuss your wants, expectations, and boundaries with your partner honestly and openly.
• Set healthy boundaries: Clearly define your relationship's expectations and limitations. This will assist you in avoiding misunderstandings and navigating the boundary between friendship and passion.
• Prioritize quality time: Make time for each other, both as friends and as romantic partners. Prioritize quality time, whether it's a romantic dinner or a fun activity together.
• Show appreciation: Show your partner that you appreciate them, both as a friend and as a romantic partner. Express gratitude, surprise them with small gestures, and celebrate milestones together.

Conclusion

Finding friendship in love is essential for a successful and fulfilling romantic relationship. A strong foundation of friendship creates trust, emotional connection, and better conflict resolution, making the relationship more meaningful and lasting. Even while it might be tough, the advantages greatly exceed the challenges. Ultimately, a romantic partner should be a confidant and best friend. By prioritizing friendship in relationships, couples can nurture love and deepen intimacy.

For those facing challenges, online counselling with the best psychologists in India can provide valuable guidance. Group therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and interpersonal therapy (IPT) can help couples improve communication and resolve conflicts. Platforms like TalktoAngel offer expert support to help couples build a lasting, strong foundation of friendship and love.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms Drishti Gakhar, Counselling Psychologist.

References

•  Brown, L. S., & Brown, J. R. (2020). Friendship in romantic relationships: The hidden foundation of lasting love. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 37(4), 1056-1075. 
• Davis, M. H. (2018). The role of friendship in romantic relationships: An integrative review. Personal Relationships, 25(3), 469-489. 
• Henningsen, M. L., & Henningsen, D. D. (2019). Communication and friendship: Building a strong foundation for romantic love. Communication Studies, 70(5), 685-706.