Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter Parenting
March 07 2023 TalktoAngel 0 comments 1603 Views
People
generally ask about the best way to raise their children. This question is age
long question as it is been asked in the past and it is in debate since then.
There might be some people who think that their parenting style is the best one
as they raised their kids in the best manner they could. But when you bring a
baby to our home, you might be thinking that your first responsibility is to
give shelter and protection from any harm that would come their way.
The
main reason to adopt helicopter parenting could be the need to protect the baby
from any harm and keep them safe from everything in any possible way. There are
many parenting styles people have and we can watch them in a crowded place like
a park. Helicopter parents could also be seen there. The term helicopter
parenting was first given by Dr. HaimGinott in 1969 in his book “Between parents and teenagers”.
Helicopter parenting refers to the parenting style in which
the parents are overly protective and involved too much in their children’s
life. They hover over their parents like helicopters. The parents usually
involve themselves in each and every aspect of their children which could even
harm them.
The helicopter parents used to give attention to every
activity of their children involving school so that they might not face any
disappointments or pain in their lives. They think that this will also make
them succeed in their lives. Helicopter parents are also known as they are
micromanaging every aspect of their child and henceforth got themselves
entangled with them.
Reasons people become helicopter Parents
There
is a natural feeling in parents that they want to protect their children. The
feeling that children should succeed in life and should stay away from all the
pain and discomfort is the main reason why they hover. There could be some
reasons, which are as follows:
- Fear of distressing consequences
There
are many situations in life that might become distressing to the child and
parents' instinct to protect them from everything which gives them discomfort
and pain, is one thing that might make them fall into the category of a helicopter
parent. But according to some researchers, the situations which parents think are distressing and which might bring unhappiness might be great teachers for kids.
- Anxiety feeling
There
could be worries related to finances, their job, and the world that can make their
parents take control over them so that they can protect them from
everything. Because there is a feeling in the parents that they want to protect
them from all the hurt and disappointments of life.
- Peer pressure from other parents
Parents may react similarly when they observe
other parents who are overprotective of their children. Sometimes we feel
pressured to be helicopter parents because we see other parents doing it. If we
don't fully involve ourselves in our children's lives, it's easy to feel guilty
for not behaving in that manner.
- Overcompensation
Adults who experienced rejection, neglect, or
indifference as children may overcompensate with their children. Sometimes an
excessive amount of supervision and care is used to make up for the parents'
shortcomings while raising them as children.
The benefits of helicopter parenting
There is a question regarding helicopter
parenting which is whether it is beneficial or not. It is said that it could be
beneficial to some extent but could be only for the parent. This topic is quite
controversial but there is some research that suggests that helicopter parents
are much happier and more satisfied than other parents. There is more research
that suggests that children who have parents who hover over them might have a hard
time at school and after that also.
Some benefits are:
- It provides safety to the children
- Everything including their homework is
on time
- Helicopter parents know each and every aspect
of their children and therefore can support them in their tough times
- Helicopter parents are typically aware of the
issues their kids are dealing with in school, such as bullying, and they can
address them as soon as they arise to safeguard their kids' mental health.
Drawbacks of helicopter parenting
However, becoming overly involved in
children's lives can be harmful or damaging. Children may begin to feel trapped
and indifferent. They could also have issues with independence and autonomy.
The primary negative effects of helicopter parenting are listed below:
- They don’t develop problem-solving skills
- Kids depend on their parents constantly.
- They are not able to deal with the challenges
they are facing in their lives
- They suffer from low self-esteem
- Impact on parental and child interactions
Avoiding helicopter parenting
- Consider the potential long-term effects of
helicopter parenting rather than concentrating on the here and now. Do you want
your child to learn life skills or do you want them to always depend on you to
fix things?
- Allow your children to take care of
themselves if they are old enough to do so, and resist the desire to step in.
This can involve even the smallest tasks, like choosing their clothes, cleaning
their room, or tying their shoes.
- Allow kids to make age-appropriate choices on
their own. Allow primary school students to select their chosen extracurricular
activities or hobbies, while allowing older students to select their course of
study.
- When your child has an argument with a
friend, co-worker, or employer, stay out of the battle and avoid attempting to
solve the situation. Give them the tools they need to settle the dispute on
their own.
- Give your kid a chance to fail. Yes, it is
very challenging but with this, they learn how to deal with disappointment,
though, when they don't make the team or enroll in the college of their choice.
- Teach them interpersonal communication
techniques, face-to-face interaction, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and other
life skills.
Consultation with Clinical
Psychologist: It is recommended that parents should consult
with the best child psychologist, who will identify the reasons for depression
and engage both child and parents in counseling. For further assistance connect
with the Best Psychologist in India for the Best Teen Counselling at TalktoAngel India’s No 1 Online Counselling and mental health
well-being platform.
Contributed by: Dr (Prof)
R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Life
Coach & Dr Sakshi Kochhar, Psychologist
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