Breakups are emotionally challenging for everyone, but men often face unique struggles during these difficult times. Societal norms usually expect men to remain emotionally stoic, making it harder for them to express vulnerability or seek support. These barriers may leave men feeling isolated and emotionally overwhelmed. Understanding the impact of breakups on men’s mental health is essential to provide the support they need to heal and move forward.

Emotional Impact of Breakups on Men

While men may not always show their emotions outwardly, breakups can hit them deeply. It can be difficult to experience feelings of loneliness, rejection, and unhappiness. Often, men feel the need to hide their emotions, thinking it’s a sign of weakness to share their pain. However, suppressing these emotions can lead to mental health struggles over time.

Why Breakups Affect Men Differently

• Cultural Expectations:- After a breakup, men are frequently expected to "tough it out" and move on instantly. This societal pressure can prevent them from addressing their emotions or reaching out for help.
• Limited Emotional Outlets:-Unlike women, who often rely on close friends or family for emotional support, men might find it harder to open up about their feelings. Feelings of isolation may worsen as a result of this emotional closure.
• Loss of Identity:- For many men, relationships play a big role in shaping their identity and sense of purpose. Losing a partner may feel like losing a part of themselves, leading to insecurity and self-doubt.
• Delayed Emotional Response:-Men may initially distract themselves with work or other activities to avoid dealing with their emotions. However, this delay in processing the breakup often prolongs their pain.

Difficulties with Mental Health Following a Break-up 

• Depression: Men may experience a deep sense of sadness, hopelessness, or worthlessness. These feelings can lead to clinical depression if not addressed.

• Anxiety: Worries about being alone or fears of rejection in future relationships can cause significant anxiety.

• Low Self-Esteem: A breakup can make men question their self-worth, leaving them feeling inadequate or rejected.

• Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms: Some men may turn to substances like alcohol or drugs to numb their emotional pain, which can lead to long-term mental and physical health issues.

• Suicidal Thoughts: Because of the psychological effects of separation, suicidal thoughts might occasionally arise. It is important to recognize these symptoms and get assistance.  

• Acknowledge Your Emotions:- Recognize that experiencing hurt, anger, or confusion is common. Suppressing your emotions will only make it harder to heal.

• Seek Support:- Talk to someone you can trust about your feelings, such as a friend, family member, or therapist. Opening up can provide relief and perspective.
• Focus on Self-Care:-You must look after your physical and emotional health throughout this period. Exercise, eat healthily, and ensure you’re getting enough sleep to rebuild your strength.
• Avoid Negative Coping Mechanisms:- While distractions like partying or drinking may seem helpful, they don’t address the root of your emotions and may worsen your situation.
• Engage in Personal Growth:-Use this period to reflect on what you want in life. Explore new hobbies, focus on personal goals, and invest in yourself to rediscover your identity.

The Role of Counseling in Recovery

Counselling is a safe and supportive space where men can explore their emotions and find healthier ways to cope. A professional therapist can help you identify patterns in your emotional response, provide tools to process your feelings, and build your confidence for future relationships. For those struggling with severe emotional distress, counselling can be life-saving, offering strategies to address depression, anxiety, and self-esteem issues.

Be patient and avoid rushing him through the process. Urge him to pause, think, and work through his emotions. Remind him that his worth is not defined by the breakup and that personal growth can emerge from these difficult moments. Suggest activities that boost his self-esteem, such as hobbies or physical exercise.

Seeking support is crucial to the healing process. Online counselling platforms like TalktoAngel provide a private, convenient, and accessible way for men to work through these complex emotions in a safe space. Therapy can help men unpack their feelings, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and address any underlying emotional issues. Consulting with the best psychologist in India can offer tailored guidance and strategies to navigate these challenges, building the resilience necessary for recovery. This support not only helps men heal but also equips them with the tools needed for future relationships. Relationship counselling can provide crucial insights into how to foster healthier connections and emotional well-being moving forward. By embracing the healing process, men can emerge stronger, more self-aware, and better prepared to build healthier, more fulfilling connections in the future.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms Tanu Sangwan, Counselling Psychologist.

References

• American Psychological Association. (2022). Men and Emotional Health: Breaking the Stigma. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org
• Mental Health Foundation. (2021). Supporting Men’s Mental Well-being After a Breakup. Retrieved from https://www.mentalhealth.org
• Gottman Institute. (2020). Emotional Recovery After Relationship Loss. Retrieved from https://www.gottman.com