How Do You Stop Parenting Your Partner?
How Do You Stop Parenting Your Partner?
December 12 2022 TalktoAngel 0 comments 315 Views
In every relationship, there's likely to be
some friction, and from time to time, there's a chance of an argument and
fights. However, it is possible to engage in some subliminal and
potentially harmful behavior patterns that can be introduced into relationships and affect the way both
of you perceive one another. As adults are the caretakers and parents of their children,
telling the children which actions to take and the best way to behave in
certain ways, sometimes the partner starts behaving as a "parent" in
the relationship, and a dependency that
is child-like is created on the other partner. Instead of being focused on
trust and respect, relationships start to be
characterized by an imbalance in power.
Sometimes
in marriages, the roles of romantic partners are blurred by the roles and
behavior of children and parents. This can manifest as one person acting
as the parent who is constantly nagging and overpowering while the other is
becoming more passive or engaging in behavior that resembles how children could
act (think of an adult's anger or silent
treatment). It may also be because one partner believes they must be the
one to be responsible and carry the bulk of the burden in the marriage, and the
other party appears to be too young to be trusted. In one way or another,
it can be stressful in a romantic relationship as couples behave less as
romantic partners and more as mommy and baby (or daddy and baby).
Side effects of acting as a parent to your partner
Being
a parent can take away the romance and attraction you share with one
another. One of the most important things that can commonly be affected by
parenting your partner is your
sexual life. Imagine this: You want to be in a relationship with an adult rather
than with a child isn't it? If you've spent your evening complaining
about your partner even if they're acting in a way that's immature or reckless,
it's unlikely to make you feel more attracted to your partner and be more
connected as you head to bed. Of course, such a relationship can destroy the feeling
of equality. The typical feeling is as if one person is carrying more
weight over the other, or that one person has a weaker
connection. Communication may also be negatively affected when one person
is prone to talking about the other and the other person may begin being
defensive or slowing down. In the end, it's most likely one's
"child" partner will start hiding information or telling lies to
their overbearing "parent" partner. This is a bad dynamic of
sexual life, bad behavior, and bad communication. There is no sense of
community.
How can you stop parenting your partner?
A
few suggestions to begin changing your relationship today have been strongly
recommended by Dr(Prof) R K Suri, Asia’s best Marriage & Relationship
Counsellor are:
1. Change Your Communication
The
first step is to think about the way you talk to each other and the
language you employ. It could be a habit to talk about your partner's
shortcomings and verbally correct them, or not take their words
seriously. You may also insist on getting things
accomplished. Nagging alters the dynamics between equal partners to one in
that one person is more authority over the other. Instead of nagging them,
take them back to their adult roles and the role of your partner by presenting
issues to discuss and asking their opinion on how best to resolve the
issue. Make them think independently. Do let them think for themselves
and don't dictate to them what must be accomplished.
2. Set Boundaries
Another
method of effectively communicating without constantly nagging is to be precise
about the boundaries. If you see some pattern established that your
partner doesn't try to do anything, and you've shared your concerns and
opinions, it establishes your limits. You can also inform them that you're
willing to help them with one aspect however for other things they're
responsible for on their own.
3. Allow Your Partner to Make & Learn From
Mistakes
Your
partner needs to be able to discover what they don't know, without
overprotection or uninhibited interference. Allow partners to make and
learn from mistakes, from time to time. If they've been dependent on you
and they see that you've backed off then they may begin to feel a sense of
responsibility begin to take over. When they're on their own, they'll be
in making the right choices or taking on tasks independently more.
4. Remember: You are worthy of A Partner
Adult
relationships require compromise and the ability to communicate your thoughts
and opinions in a manner that is respectful. The ideal relationship should
not be one in which one person is supporting another, it should be
when both partners are supportive of each other. In relationships,
you need two individuals who are emotionally open and able to handle conflicts
and conflicts with compassion.
5.
Your Partner and you’re one team. In parenting and marriage, you and your
partner have the same goal of creating a healthy, loving, and cherished family.
You have to work at it as partners and teammates.
6.
Do not manipulate,
control, or use coercion to get your partner to listen to you or mend your
behavior. It’s attractive,
and tempting to micromanage your partner’s time or the way that he/she
interacts with children. In healthy and meaningful relationships, there is
always equal power, no manipulation, and coercion. It would be worthwhile to,
talk to your partner about your needs and how you can work together to change
the situation.
7. Work with your partner towards a respectful to both, being open to
compromise, being flexible, and respecting change.
8. Do
co-Parenting. Do involve your
partner in parenting duties and decisions making, family caretaking, as
marriage and parenting a partnership. Be mindful to create a healthy team for your
family.
9. Love your
partner at face value. Your
partner is growing as an adult and parent just like you are. Please don’t
humiliate or shame your partner that you are behaving like your mom or dad.
Without the interdependence of others, the relationships will feel superficial. It is, therefore, important to understand that the aim isn't to be fully independent and emotionally self-sufficient. However, allowing, or expecting a partner to take on the responsibility of managing the other's emotional state can be detrimental. This type of relationship typically has both partners accepting the parent/child roles in which one assumes responsibility for the wellbeing of the other and comforts in a manner like parents do but the other one accepts or allows that care of the parent. Seek Relationship Counseling online at TalktoAngel Asia best relationship counseling platform.
Couple Therapy can be of immense benefit to any relationship regardless of the severity or nature of your issues. With the assistance of a qualified Marriage Counsellor Online or an online Couple Counselling, couples can develop the ability how to resolve conflicts, enhance their relationship, and establish better communication practices.
Contributed by: Dr
(Prof) R K Suri and Utkarsh
Yadav
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