The death of a parent is a life-altering event for anyone, but for children, it can be especially overwhelming. Losing a parent early in life shakes the foundation of a child's sense of safety, trust, and emotional well-being. This kind of loss can disrupt developmental milestones, affect behaviour and academic performance, and create long-term emotional challenges if not properly addressed.

While family support is vital, professional therapy can offer structured, compassionate guidance to help children understand and process their loss healthily. This blog explores the emotional impact of parental loss on children, the evolving role of the surviving parent, and how therapeutic support can help kids navigate their grief journey.

The Emotional Impact of Losing a Parent

Grief affects children differently than it does adults. As they become older, their perspective on mortality and how they deal with it also changes.

Toddlers and Preschoolers (Ages 3–6)

They might repeatedly ask when the parent is coming back or act out due to confusion. Behaviour such as clinginess, bedwetting, or aggression may emerge as they try to cope.

School-Aged Children (Ages 6–12)

At this age, children start to comprehend that death is inevitable, yet they could still internalise the experience. It’s common for them to feel guilty, thinking something they did or didn’t do caused the death. They might struggle in school, or social isolation can take place.

Teenagers (Ages 13–18)

Some may question life's meaning, exhibit risk-taking behaviour, or become emotionally distant. Others might take on adult responsibilities too quickly, feeling pressure to "hold things together."

Regardless of age, grief in children often appears in waves and can resurface during significant life events, such as birthdays, graduations, or holidays.

Parenting Through Grief

The surviving parent or guardian plays a critical role in a child’s ability to cope. However, it’s an incredibly difficult task to support a grieving child while managing your loss.

Helpful Parenting Strategies Include:

• Open Communication: Be honest about what happened using clear, age-appropriate language. Avoid vague terms like “went to sleep,” which can create confusion or fear.
• Create Space for Grief: Encourage conversations, memories, or rituals that help children feel connected to the parent who has passed.
• Model Healthy Grieving: Let your child see that it's normal to cry, to talk about your feelings, and to ask for help.

Still, even the most nurturing environment may not be enough for a child dealing with complex emotions. That's where therapy becomes a powerful tool.

How Therapy Supports Grieving Children

Therapists trained in childhood grief provide a neutral, supportive environment where children can explore their feelings safely. Therapy allows them to communicate in ways that suit their developmental stage.

Types of Therapy That Can Help

1. Play Therapy

For younger children, play therapy is highly effective. Using toys, games, or art, therapists can observe and interpret what a child may be unable to say in words.

2. Art  Therapy

Drawing, painting, music, and storytelling allow children to express complex feelings creatively and symbolically, making it easier for them to talk about loss.

3. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps older children and teens recognise unhealthy thought patterns—like guilt, anger, or fear—and replace them with healthier ways of thinking and coping.

4. Grief Counselling Groups

Group therapy introduces children to others who have experienced similar losses. 

5. Family Therapy

Family sessions can improve communication among family members, help everyone grieve together, and foster a sense of shared healing.

Therapy Goals for Grieving Children

Therapy for children who’ve lost a parent focuses on:

• Helping them understand what death means
• Encouraging emotional expression through safe outlets
• Developing coping tools to manage strong emotions
• Reassuring them that they are not at fault
• Supporting memory-building and ongoing bonds with the deceased parent
• Promoting resilience and long-term emotional health

Importantly, therapy doesn’t aim to eliminate grief—it helps children carry it in a way that doesn’t hinder their growth and happiness.

Signs a Child May Need Professional Support

While some children adjust over time with family support, others may need therapy to navigate more intense or prolonged grief. Watch for these signs:

• Persistent sadness or withdrawal that lasts for months
• Behavioural regression (bedwetting, tantrums, fear of being alone)
• Difficulty concentrating or declining grades
• Sleep problems or nightmares
• Irritability, aggression, or risk-taking behaviour
• Expressing self-blame or saying they want to be with the deceased parent

If any of these signs persist, it’s crucial to consult a mental health professional experienced in childhood bereavement.

Complementary Coping Tools for Everyday Life

Outside of therapy, there are many ways to support a grieving child’s emotional journey:

• Memory Projects: Creating a scrapbook or memory box can help children preserve their connection with their parents.
• Storytelling: Sharing positive stories about the parent helps keep their memory alive.
• Commemorating Milestones: Light a candle, say a prayer, or start a tradition on birthdays or anniversaries.
• Books About Grief: Many age-appropriate books gently introduce the concept of loss and offer comfort through storytelling.

Conclusion

The death of a parent is a deeply painful event that no child should face alone. While the road through grief is never easy, therapy offers a lifeline, providing children with the tools they need to understand, express, and healthily manage their emotions.

With compassionate parenting, professional support, and time, children can grow from their loss, not by forgetting, but by remembering with love, healing with guidance, and continuing their journey with strength and hope.

Contributed By: Dr. (Prof.) R. K. Suri, Clinical Psychologist and Life Coach, &. Ms. Riya Rathi, Counselling Psychologist.

References

• Cohen, J. A., Mannarino, A. P., & Deblinger, E. (2017). Treating trauma and traumatic grief in children and adolescents (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
• Koblenz, J. (2016). Growing from grief: Qualitative experiences of parental loss. OMEGA - Journal of Death and Dying, 73(2), 133–150. https://doi.org/10.1177/0030222815576123
• National Alliance for Children’s Grief. (2023). Understanding childhood grief. https://childrengrieve.org/resources
• https://www.talktoangel.com/blog/how-to-help-your-child-cope-with-peer-comparison
• https://www.talktoangel.com/blog/emotional-cost-of-suppressing-childhood-trauma