A sudden loss of a job is quite tough and traumatic for people. When you are suddenly fired from your job, you might feel a range of emotions which might constitute anger, irritation, doubting your skills, sadness, and many more. Some people might also experience grief and stress, especially those who lose their dream job. What if your spouse has lost their job? It is one of the biggest challenges one may face after marriage as it comes up with financial insecurity and emotional things like humiliation, sadness, depression, and damage to their ego as well.

Recently, Meta lay off 11,000 jobs the biggest tech layoff of 2022. Twitter, slashed half of its employees. These days’ layoffs are a possibility and are also becoming a serious problem day by day.  How long these ambiguities will last and well the marriages are able to handle them are still unpredictable. “One important thing according to Dr (Prof) R K Suri leading psychologist and Relationship Counsellor is that the whole family should know how to cope with these days and learn how to live a little bit differently till the bad times are over”.

When the partner loses their job, it is obviously a tough time for both the couple. But it could be a bit scary for the person who has lost their job. At this time partners should give their full support to them and stay positive so that their partner is able to process what they have lost. By doing this, they both individually and collectively strengthen the relationship and help them regain their confidence and advance to the next level.

Grief post layoff

When you are laid off from a job that is undesirable, then they might feel relieved but what if the job is their dream job? Yes, the experience could be a traumatic one and the person might grieve for that for a longer period of time. When a person has a devastating loss, it is important to understand the stages that they might be going through. The stages could be defined as follows:

• Denial or mistrust regarding the layoff
• Anger or frustration for losing your job
• Negotiating with oneself or others to alter the circumstances
• Depression brought on by the layoff
• Adjusting to the new reality after losing a job

It is not mandatory that these stages will occur with everyone because everyone has their own ways to cope with the loss. They also cope at their own rate. The crucial thing is that their partner might understand a framework so that they may support them on the basis of these stages. 

Tips to Support your spouse after a layoff

1. Active listening

Listening is very important when we talk of marriage and relationships. You must listen to be a partner who is in need of support so that you can Give them a safe space where they can express their worries, suggestions, and emotions and this will help them cope with a layoff.

But following them doesn't mean you have to agree with everything they are saying or doing. It would be preferable if you gave the person a listening ear instead. You can help them fight their irrational self-criticism, susceptive thinking, and illogical misconceptions and distortions with the help of listening.

2. Let them feel what they are feeling

Your partner may experience a range of feelings when they lose their job, from sadness to dissatisfaction. They may also even feel relieved. In any case when they are probably going through a lot.  It's quite essential to allow them to express their emotions. They have the right to feel any emotion, whether it is sadness, fear, or anger. They might even be experiencing shock and emotional detachment immediately following the loss of their employment. Simply offer them all the support you can during this time, and assure them that whatever they are feeling is totally normal.

3. Do not ignore what happened with your partner.

Recognizing the layoff will encourage the coping mechanism.  Keep your acknowledgment simple in both words and actions. A hug, a kind word, or an act of kindness, for instance, can be enough to let someone know you're with them and there for them only.

4. Helping them they can explore their other passions

As said by Alexander Graham Bell, when one door close another one open up for the people. This could not be seen immediately but now they have time to explore their other passions and interests. Give them room to dream big and be creative in addition to giving them time to grieve the loss. Utilize this evidently bad circumstance as a chance to attempt something new and unique.

5. Rediscover their identity.

Remind the person that their job situation does not define their identity or sense of worth. Remind them of their identity or who they are. Talk to them about their opinions, abilities, and qualities as well as what others find admirable about the so that they can maintain a solid sense of self.

When your partner got a layoff and you don’t know where to start, then go and ask them. Ask them about their needs because there is no harm in them. It is quite possible that they might be in want of being asked for it. It is also possible that they are not aware of what they are in need at the very moment. And therefore, when you ask them directly it will make them feel valued and loved.

Case Study        

Sunita, a mom was living a decent life in Gurgaon. The 35-year-old mother was the prime breadwinner for her kids. A senior executive in a Global IT firm, Sunita’s 20 million rupees per annum package was also paid a generous bonus, stock options, and a profit-sharing. Her children were studying in an international school. She used to go on special trips with her husband's family, a firefighter, throw parties, and give lavish gifts to family members and friends. But due to unforeseen and unexpected Laid off in August 2022, Sunita felt clobbered.

She had been struggling to get a job which promptly put an end to getaways, holiday gifts, and her parties which has created constant obsession, fears and anxiety: “We would have pulled the kids out of International school if we hadn’t paid the tuition for the full year in advance.”

Sound familiar? Families like Sunita’s are struggling with similar issues in the new economic order as spouses lose their jobs in layoffs and pay cutbacks. You are accustomed to a certain living standard, and couples like the Sunita who face a job loss often suffer relationship challenges as existing marital conflicts are exacerbated and financial stresses trigger new types of challenges. In middle or high-income earning families, status-oriented activities such as parties, buying expensive luxury products, vacations, and charitable giving are reduced, if not cut altogether.

If you or your spouse is facing a layoff and it is creating a toll on your mental health or your relationship, seek help from the Best Psychologist in India and the top online Relationship Counsellor at TalktoAngel.