Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation that can make a person question their reality, memory, or perceptions. While this toxic behavior is often associated with personal relationships, it is equally prevalent in workplace settings, where power dynamics and professional reputations are at play. Gaslighting at work can undermine your confidence, disrupt your career, and create a toxic atmosphere. But how do you identify it? And more importantly, how can you respond? In this blog, we will discuss the signs of gaslighting in the workplace, the impact it can have on employees, and how to handle it with integrity and resilience. We will also explore the importance of seeking professional support and why platforms like TalktoAngel can be instrumental in navigating these complex situations.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation technique in which one person makes another doubt their perceptions, memories, or sense of reality. It’s a gradual process in which the gaslighter (the manipulator) tries to distort or undermine the other person’s beliefs and sense of self-worth. In the workplace, gaslighting can occur between colleagues, supervisors, or even subordinates. It can range from subtle remarks and actions to overtly malicious behaviour aimed at eroding an individual’s confidence and undermining credibility. The goal of the gaslighter is to gain power, control, and influence by making the other person question their judgment or abilities.

Signs of Gaslighting at the Workplace

Gaslighting is not always obvious, and it can often be mistaken for general workplace conflicts. However, several telltale signs can help you identify if you're being gaslighted:

• Constantly Being Told You’re Overreacting:- One of the most common signs of gaslighting is when a colleague or manager consistently tells you that you’re "overreacting" or "too sensitive." This dismissal of your feelings can make you second-guess your emotional responses. If you’re experiencing situations where your concerns are invalidated or minimized, it could be a form of gaslighting. A gaslighter might downplay the severity of their actions, causing you to doubt your reaction and your judgment.
• Contradictory Statements or Actions:- Gaslighters often make contradictory statements or behave in ways that conflict with what they previously said. For example, they might say one thing in a meeting, only to deny it or act as if it never happened later. If you find yourself frequently trying to reconcile inconsistent information or feeling confused about what was agreed upon, it's a strong indicator of gaslighting.
• Being Made to Feel Incompetent or Untrustworthy:- Another hallmark of gaslighting is the deliberate undermining of your competence. A gaslighter might make you feel like your work is subpar, even if there’s no evidence to support this. They may criticize your decisions, make you doubt your abilities, or undermine your contributions in front of others. Over time, this can lead to a sense of inadequacy and self-doubt, even when you are performing well.
• Denial of Previous Conversations or Events:- Gaslighters will often deny that certain events occurred or that they ever said certain things. For instance, you might be told, "That never happened," or "I never said that," even when you have clear evidence to the contrary. This tactic causes confusion and forces you to question your memory, especially when it’s repeatedly employed. You may even begin to doubt the accuracy of your recollections.
• Isolating You from Colleagues or Support Systems:- Gaslighters may try to isolate their target by sowing discord between you and your colleagues. They might spread false information or subtly turn others against you, making you feel alienated and unsupported. Over time, this can lead you to feel as though you have no one to turn to, reinforcing the gaslighter’s power over you.
• Blame Shifting and Avoiding Accountability:- Gaslighters are often adept at avoiding responsibility for their actions. They might shift the blame onto you or others, leaving you feeling responsible for things that aren’t your fault. For example, if a project fails, they might accuse you of not completing your part, even if you did everything correctly. This constant shifting of blame can leave you feeling confused and uncertain about your role in the workplace.
• Subtle but Persistent Undermining:- Gaslighting often happens subtly and incrementally. Over time, small comments or actions that undermine your confidence and self-esteem build up, leading to significant emotional and mental distress. For instance, a manager might downplay your achievements, saying something like, "That’s not a big deal," or "Anyone could have done that." These comments can erode your sense of accomplishment and make you feel unappreciated.

The Impact of Gaslighting in the Workplace

The effects of gaslighting can be profound and long-lasting. Victims of gaslighting often experience a range of emotional, psychological, and professional consequences. Some of the most common effects include:

• Low Self-Esteem: Gaslighting can make you feel inadequate, worthless, or incompetent. Over time, you may begin to doubt your abilities and question whether you’re fit for your role.
• Increased Anxiety and Stress: Constantly second-guessing yourself and feeling emotionally manipulated can lead to heightened levels of anxiety and stress. This may manifest as physical symptoms, such as fatigue, headaches, or sleep disturbances.
• Depression: The emotional toll of being gaslighted can contribute to depression. Feelings of isolation, hopelessness, and worthlessness are common among victims of this form of emotional abuse.
• Burnout: The constant mental strain caused by gaslighting can lead to burnout. If you’re always on edge, doubting your every move, and feeling unsupported, it can become increasingly difficult to stay motivated and engaged at work.
• Impact on Career Progression: Being gaslighted can also hinder your professional growth. If your contributions are undermined or your achievements dismissed, it can prevent you from gaining the recognition and opportunities you deserve.

How to Handle Gaslighting at the Workplace

If you suspect you're being gaslighted, it’s crucial to take steps to protect your mental health and professional reputation. Here are some strategies that might help:

• Document Everything:- Keep a detailed record of interactions that seem suspicious or manipulative. This could include emails, text messages, meeting notes, or even conversations that you have with the person gaslighting you. Having documentation can help you stand your ground when you're accused of things that aren’t true or when your reality is questioned.
• Set Boundaries:- Assertively set boundaries with the gaslighter. For instance, if they try to manipulate you, calmly state, "I don’t appreciate being spoken to in that manner," or "I disagree with your assessment." Standing up for yourself can help prevent further manipulation.
• Seek Support:- Never hesitate to ask mentors or dependable coworkers for assistance. Talking things through with someone you trust can offer clarity and prevent you from feeling isolated. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help you identify the behaviours that are indicative of gaslighting.
• Consult a Professional:-If the situation becomes unbearable, or if you're struggling to cope with the emotional toll, consulting a therapist or counsellor is a wise step. TalktoAngel, an online counseling platform, provides confidential and professional support for individuals experiencing workplace challenges like gaslighting. The platform connects users with licensed therapists who specialize in emotional well-being and can offer strategies to handle such manipulative behaviours. Through TalktoAngel, you can gain the confidence and tools needed to navigate toxic environments, regain your mental strength, and take control of your career.

Conclusion

Gaslighting in the workplace is a serious issue that can have significant emotional, psychological, and professional consequences. By recognizing the signs early and implementing strategies to cope, you can protect yourself from its damaging effects. Remember, seeking professional support from platforms like TalktoAngel can be a vital resource in navigating these challenging situations. Your mental health and well-being should always be a priority—don't hesitate to reach out for help when needed.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms.  Drishti Gakhar, Counselling Psychologist.

References

• D'Andrea, W. (2019). Gaslighting in the workplace: How to recognize and handle emotional manipulation at work. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles

• Hynes, T., & McGarry, S. (2021). Managing toxic relationships at work: Understanding the signs of gaslighting. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 42(3), 209-225. 

• Lasky, A. (2017). Gaslighting and emotional manipulation: Recognizing toxic behaviour in the workplace. International Journal of Psychology, 52(5), 412-421. 

• Simon, R. (2017). In sheep's clothing: Understanding and dealing with manipulative people. Wiley.