Identity And Role Conflict In Marriage

April 15 2023 TalktoAngel 0 comments 3002 Views

Everyone in a relationship play established roles, and there are some grey roles that are occasionally to be fulfilled and at times may be transferred to the other. These established and grey roles create a gap in expectations for the partner, aggravated by the absence of communication. When it comes to marriage, the changing gender roles have an impact on the manner in which household and childcare responsibilities are divided in a marriage. With evolving gender roles, the potential benefits and disadvantages of being in relations, and to a great extent determining marital quality/satisfaction, may be changing for both women and men.

In reality, we usually assign roles to different gender in a relationship, and when these expectations aren't fulfilled, it can cause a lot of tension. There is some common traditional gender identity role that society encourages conformity and denigrates people who attempt to change it. These roles are:

Men will make money
Women will cook in their homes
The man will be protecting the women
Men cannot cry
Women are the primary caregivers at home, as males are the ones to keep the overall house in order.
Men play football or golf, while women are part of knitting groups.
Men are assertive, persuasive, and aggressive; however, women are more passive and submissive.

If one partner has expectations that are different from one other, this can lead to confusion and chaos not only for the couple but also within the relationship. Sometimes, the expectation or requirement for one role may be against the duties of the second one, since they may be conflicting, and requirements for the particular role could result in relationship challenges. Intimacy is another aspect where gender differences can lead to conflicts in the marriage. Studies have shown that males typically describe intimacy as activities shared, while women concentrate more on communication via words in order to build intimacy.

However, examples of gender roles are diverse and vary from behavioral to differences in personality, financial independence, and culture. Certain changes are occurring to gender roles, particularly with increasing numbers of women pursuing scientific careers, working independently and avoiding jobs as housewives, and men working full-time jobs taking care of the household.

Impact of Gender Role Expectations on Relationships

There is evidence to suggest that expectations can impact the relationship of couples on two levels:

1) They may be used as goal-oriented structures through which partners define and direct their relationship.

2) They could cause a "counterfactual" phenomenon, where people evaluate what's happened within their context with what could have happened.

In most cases, the former may create positive changes in relationships, while the latter could cause negative results and even disappointment. It is therefore essential for each member of the couple to be aware of the gender roles and expectations of them and their partners over the course of their marriage.

Ways to handle these struggles and conflicts in marriage

Seek online counselling with the best marriage counselor, to work on conflicts.

Utilizing more ‘we’ and ‘us’ statements instead of ‘me’ and ‘you’ phrases implies that both individuals have a common team. It can help to build a sense of connection even when there are conflicting opinions about gender role expectations.

Don't bring up previous concerns when discussing a current issue. Focus on the problem at hand and work on resolving the issue. Make time to talk about other areas of concern because bringing up several problems at the same time can increase the anger and discontent you are feeling and can result in negative emotions.

Don't adopt an accusatory tone even when there are disagreements in dividing household work.

Make eye contact with your partner while talking to them instead of turning your back to them or speaking in a sideways manner.

Arms that are open and open body movements communicate a friendly attitude more than crossed arms that convey the impression of hostility and distance.

Concentrate on the issue that is creating differences in gender role expectations instead of saying 'You are making me angry or angry', which could be harmful to the process of resolving conflicts. Better is to make statements such as "It makes me upset when you do this" that separates the individual from the behavior or "It would make me really happy if you could do this for us". These statements create the impression you are trying to create harmony and love within the relationship, not blaming your partner.

When we're in the middle of a conflict regarding gender role expectations, maintaining our cool is a lot more difficult than it sounds however that doesn't suggest that the challenges we face can't be overcome. If both partners are feeling that anger or frustration has taken over their relationship, they are able to stop to calm down and then address the issue in a calm manner.

The way we speak and act can convey more than the words we use. Taking a step back and not viewing it as a personal attack can ensure and helps us to respond with a rational mind. Another method of working through these conflicts and struggles within a relationship is applying the steps below.

Focus on the core issue and gender role expectation at hand
Be aware of your active listening by displaying the body's expression and posture
React by asking questions, and knowing about expectations and what things are important for them.
Try to empathize by viewing things from another's viewpoint, and understand where they are coming from.

These methods assist us to navigate effortlessly through these phases of conflict of power or roles.

Are you looking to create an easier, more satisfying relationship?

If you are feeling disengaged or unhappy with the condition of your marriage, but you want to avoid divorce and/or separation, get Online Marriage Counselling and get over the most difficult issues of marriage, it would be good to have a psychologist consultation by the leading psychologist.

It may be a good time to start Marriage Counselling if both you and your spouse feel dissatisfied within the relationship--especially if you're working through a specific marital problem such as financial difficulty, infidelity, childcare issues, gender role conflicts, or any other challenges. Couples Counsellor and Online Marriage Counsellor typically use an integrated method of treatment using techniques that are adapted from various kinds of therapy, based on the needs of clients and guide them through fewer conflicts and better understanding and communication in their relationship.

Relationship Counsellors, marriage counsellors, the Top Psychologists in India, and the best psychiatrists in India to overcome one’s psychological disturbances.

One can connect with TalktoAngel Asia’s No. 1 Online Counselling platform and take couple therapy with the Best Psychologist in India and Couple Counsellor for their marital conflicts.

Contribution by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Best Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach & Mr. Utkarsh Yadav, Counselling Psychologist.