A healthy and happy existence depends on having confidence and self-worth. They shape how we see ourselves, interact with others, and cope with challenges. Yet, many struggle with low self-esteem and confidence, which can lead to difficulties in relationships. Improving self-esteem and confidence effectively involves understanding the root causes, addressing negative thought patterns, and building resilience.

What is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem is how you view and value yourself. It is shaped by your beliefs, experiences, and interactions with others. High self-esteem means you have a positive view of yourself, whereas low self-esteem often leads to self-doubt, negativity, and feelings of worthlessness.

People with low self-esteem might struggle with negative self-talk, fear of failure, and comparison to others, leading to anxiety and depression. Conversely, those with high self-esteem generally feel confident, and capable, and are better able to establish healthy boundaries in relationships.

Why Confidence Matters

Although confidence and self-esteem are closely related, confidence is primarily about having faith in your abilities. It enables you to take risks, try new things, and assert yourself in different situations. Confidence is essential for career success, personal relationships, and overall happiness.

Building self-esteem and confidence requires intentional effort and can often be improved with the help of professional support through online counselling. You may get in touch with the top psychologists in India who specialize in enhancing confidence and self-esteem by using websites like TalktoAngel.

The Root Causes of Low Self-Esteem

To effectively improve self-esteem, it’s important to understand the factors that contribute to its decline. Some common causes include:

• Childhood Experiences: Negative feedback from parents, teachers, or peers can deeply impact self-esteem. Long-lasting wounds like abuse, neglect, or unjust judgment can make it challenging to cultivate a positive self-image.
• Unhealthy Relationships: Being in relationships where you feel undervalued, controlled, or belittled can severely damage your self-esteem. 
• Comparison and Perfectionism: Constantly comparing yourself to others, particularly in the age of social media, can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Perfectionism also fosters a sense of never being good enough, which erodes confidence over time.
• Mental Health Issues: Conditions like depression, anxiety, or substance abuse can cause or exacerbate low self-esteem. These issues often create a cycle of self-defeating behaviours that further undermine confidence.

Practical Steps to Improve Self-Esteem and Confidence

Improving self-esteem and confidence requires changing both your mindset and behaviours. Here are some effective strategies:

1. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Many people with low self-esteem are trapped in negative thought patterns. These thoughts often manifest as self-criticism and harsh judgments. Cognitive restructuring, a core component of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, helps individuals recognize and challenge these distorted thoughts.

• Practice Positive Self-Talk: Reinforce your self-worth by consciously practising affirmations and positive self-talk.

CBT offered through TalktoAngel is highly effective in addressing negative thinking patterns that contribute to low self-esteem. By working with the best psychologists in India, individuals can learn how to reframe their thoughts and build a healthier self-image.

2. Set Achievable Goals

One reason many people struggle with self-esteem is that they set unrealistic goals, which leads to failure and disappointment. Divide more ambitious objectives into more manageable steps, and acknowledge each success.

• Reward Yourself: Recognize and applaud any progress, no matter how minor.

Achieving even minor goals can boost your confidence and reinforce a positive sense of self.

3. Develop Resilience

The capacity to pick oneself up after failure and carry on is resilience. Life is full of challenges, and the way you respond to failure can significantly impact your self-esteem.

• Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity: Consider failure an opportunity to improve and learn, rather than an expression of your value.
• Build a Support System: Be in the company of individuals who support you and have faith in your abilities. Having a support network can help you stay resilient in difficult times.

Gaining resilience can help you become more self-assured and more equipped to handle stress and hardship. Therapists at TalktoAngel can guide you through resilience-building strategies to foster a healthier mindset.

4. Establish Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are essential for maintaining self-esteem. When you set clear limits in relationships, you protect your emotional well-being and prevent feelings of resentment or exploitation.

• Learn to Say No: It’s okay to prioritize your own needs and reject demands that overextend you.
• Communicate Assertively: Assertiveness involves expressing your thoughts and needs confidently and respectfully, without feeling guilty.

Setting boundaries can be difficult for those with low self-esteem, but it’s a critical skill for improving self-worth and protecting mental health.

5. Address Underlying Mental Health Issues

Conditions like anxiety, depression, and substance abuse often go hand-in-hand with low self-esteem. Addressing these underlying issues is essential for long-term improvement in confidence.

• Therapy: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) are evidence-based approaches that help individuals deal with mental health challenges and build self-esteem. ACT emphasizes embracing negative emotions and thoughts while resolving to alter behaviour by one's values.
• Medication: In some cases, medication may be necessary to manage anxiety or depression, which in turn can help improve self-esteem.

Access to online counselling through platforms like TalktoAngel allows individuals to receive professional support from the best psychologists in India to address mental health issues that contribute to low self-esteem.

6. Practice Self-Compassion

Many individuals who have poor self-esteem are the most critical of themselves. Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness, particularly during difficult times.

• Forgive Yourself: Give up on the past and permit yourself to move on.
• Be Mindful: Be mindful of your feelings and thoughts without passing judgment. Practising mindfulness can help reduce self-criticism and improve emotional regulation.

Self-compassion is an essential component of building confidence and self-worth.

7. Seek Professional Support

Improving self-esteem and confidence can be challenging, especially if you've struggled with these issues for a long time. Online counselling provides a convenient and effective way to work with a licensed therapist.

• TalktoAngel: This platform offers access to the best psychologists in India who specialize in self-esteem, mental health, and personal development. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, or relationship issues, professional counselling can provide tailored strategies to improve your confidence and mental well-being.

Conclusion

Improving self-esteem and confidence is a process that requires self-awareness, effort, and persistence. By challenging negative thoughts, goal setting, building resilience, and practicing self-compassion, you can enhance your self-worth and lead a more fulfilling life.

If you’re struggling with low self-esteem or confidence, don’t hesitate to seek help from a qualified therapist through online counselling platforms like TalktoAngel. Working with the best psychologists in India, you’ll receive personalized guidance and evidence-based strategies like CBT and ACT to support your self-improvement journey. Remember, building confidence is possible, and every small step you take brings you closer to becoming the best version of yourself.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms Gurleen Kaur, Counselling Psychologist.

References

• Greenacre, Luke & Tung, Ngo & Chapman, Tom. (2014). Self-confidence, and the ability to influence. Academy of Marketing Studies Journal. 18. 169-180. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/286318041_Self_confidence_and_the_ability_to_influence 
• Saaida, Mohammed. (2022). Self-Esteem And Self-confidence. 1-11. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/375030040_Self-Esteem_And_Self-confidence