Online Counselling to Overcome Shame
Online Counselling to Overcome Shame
October 03 2023 TalktoAngel 0 comments 1713 Views
What is Shame?
Shame
is a type of self-consciousness that results from self-critical and negative
thoughts. Shame is classified as a self-conscious emotional reaction
caused by negative internal thoughts and negative self-judgment. Negative
self-evaluations can lead to emotions of confidence, or feelings of shame,
illustrating every aspect of self-conscious feelings. If people feel shame
and lack self-evaluation, it can result in feeling unworthy, inadequate, or
unworthy. It is a learned response, and seeking online counselling with the best
psychologists in India is of great help.
Shame
is a key social aspect, and it is associated with the fear of being judged, criticized, or even rejected by others instead of just being
self-critical. The root of shame could be traced back to previous
instances of feeling judged and even disapproved of by another person. People
typically confront the shame of others by distancing themselves or withdrawing.
They also try to protect their image by concealing the aspects of themselves
they believe could lead to being rejected.
The
experiences of shame when one encounters situations that reveal or trigger
insecurities. People are most likely to feel ashamed about particular
fears, however experiencing more generalized shame (i.e. feeling that they
are insignificant or that they are completely unworthy on the internal level)
is a much more damaging kind of shame. Shame that is harmful and chronic
can indicate an untreated mental issue such as depression, anxiety, or
post-traumatic stress disorder.
Causes of Shame
Self-evaluations
that are negative or critical could result in shame. This is when someone
becomes too focused on perceived mistakes as well as flaws or negative
characteristics. In times of self-shame, it is easy to forget their
strengths, capabilities, or good qualities. Self-critical thoughts can be
based on truth however they're often significantly exaggerated and deformed in
comparison to an overall assessment of one's character. Talking to a professional
online
counselor would help you understand the causes
of shame.
The
feeling of shame can arise when confronted with any past, present, or imagined
future scenario that prompts a negative self-evaluation; however, it is most
likely to occur when the underlying insecurities or negative beliefs are
revealed. These insecurities are usually born as early in life as a result
of painful experiences of being rejected, criticized, or even hurt. These
"shaming" experiences lead people to believe negative thoughts about
themselves and to view particular flaws, mistakes, or flaws in their character
as threats that could hinder them from being loved and accepted.
Shame vs. Guilt!
Shame
is a perceived lack of power to satisfy one's ideal self's norms, whereas guilt
involves a perceived power and intent to be hurtful, that is, to break one's
moral self's standards. Guilt is about my behaviour: "I did
something wrong," whereas shame is about my being: "I am
wrong."
Recognizing
your error can be beneficial. However, overpowering emotions of guilt can
rapidly evolve into shame, but if you can manage your guilt in a healthy way
rather than allowing it to spin out of control, it can have some great
benefits.
How to overcome shame?
Help
for shame starts by identifying the shameful feelings. Many people are
unaware of their guilt. Some people are aware of their shame however,
they fear that seeking help will make them reveal their shame to other
people. Since shame is associated with feelings of guilt and self-esteem
issues, many individuals fear that the people from whom they seek online
counselling might discover that their shame is justified. They are afraid
of being exposed and fear that people might judge them when they realize the
truth.
Self-defeating
thoughts are not good for anyone. Shame can be treated regardless of the
source. If you think that you are embarrassed it's crucial to realise that
your shame has no benefit. In fact, it could result in harm to yourself or
others. Seek online counselling to get immediate assistance from an online
counsellor and top psychologist in India
Psychology of Shame: Seek Online Therapy to Help With Shame
The
reason for shame is often traumatizing experiences. Someone may feel that
they were responsible for the negative experience they had or feel guilt and shame
due to bullying, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. When shame is the
result of trauma, it's essential that online counselling is sensitive to trauma
and addresses the root cause of shame. The therapy options that are
commonly used during online counselling are:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is a method of helping clients understand the link between their emotions, thoughts, and actions. Online therapists concentrate on the subconscious thoughts that usually go under the radar, such as "I do not deserve to be loved as I'm a fool."
- Prolonged exposure (PE): The term "prolonged exposure" refers to the therapy that gradually exposes a subject to greater and more intense doses of stimuli that are related to the traumatic experience. For example, someone who has been injured may start by looking or holding knives and gradually begin to talk about the stabbing, or even being in a place that brings back memories of the stabbing. The purpose in PE is to slowly take away the power of the incident and, as a result, decrease the intensity of feelings such as guilt, shame, and anxiety.
- Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT): CPT is a process that takes place over 12 sessions where a patient speaks about their experiences, attempts to comprehend the way that their trauma influences their behavior and emotions, and implements strategies to control the negative traumatic effects, which includes shame.
- Stress-inoculation Training (SIT): SIT is a form of CBT that teaches people how to handle stress before it becomes overwhelming. It includes instruction on breathing techniques, relaxation of muscles as well as noticing and changing the automatic negative thoughts, as well as activities for role-playing.
- Eye-movement desensitisation and remediation
(EMDR): EMDR is an approach to treatment based on
stages that uses specific eye movements in order to help someone talk about trauma. As time passes, the patient develops the ability to control their
feelings and incorporate the experience into their own life.
These
strategies used in online counseling for shame might help with other types of shame, like depression-related
shame and guilt. Studies consistently show that the most reliable
predictor of the effectiveness of therapy is a close connection between the online
counselor and the patient. An online
therapist who values your beliefs and assists you in establishing goals is essential.
Contribution by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Best Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach & Mr. Utkarsh Yadav, Counselling Psychologist
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