Online Counselling to Overcome Shame

Online Counselling to Overcome Shame

October 03 2023 TalktoAngel 0 comments 1713 Views

What is Shame?

Shame is a type of self-consciousness that results from self-critical and negative thoughts. Shame is classified as a self-conscious emotional reaction caused by negative internal thoughts and negative self-judgment. Negative self-evaluations can lead to emotions of confidence, or feelings of shame, illustrating every aspect of self-conscious feelings. If people feel shame and lack self-evaluation, it can result in feeling unworthy, inadequate, or unworthy. It is a learned response, and seeking online counselling with the best psychologists in India is of great help.

Shame is a key social aspect, and it is associated with the fear of being judged, criticized, or even rejected by others instead of just being self-critical. The root of shame could be traced back to previous instances of feeling judged and even disapproved of by another person. People typically confront the shame of others by distancing themselves or withdrawing. They also try to protect their image by concealing the aspects of themselves they believe could lead to being rejected.

The experiences of shame when one encounters situations that reveal or trigger insecurities. People are most likely to feel ashamed about particular fears, however experiencing more generalized shame (i.e. feeling that they are insignificant or that they are completely unworthy on the internal level) is a much more damaging kind of shame. Shame that is harmful and chronic can indicate an untreated mental issue such as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder.

Causes of Shame

Self-evaluations that are negative or critical could result in shame. This is when someone becomes too focused on perceived mistakes as well as flaws or negative characteristics. In times of self-shame, it is easy to forget their strengths, capabilities, or good qualities. Self-critical thoughts can be based on truth however they're often significantly exaggerated and deformed in comparison to an overall assessment of one's character. Talking to a professional online counselor would help you understand the causes of shame.

The feeling of shame can arise when confronted with any past, present, or imagined future scenario that prompts a negative self-evaluation; however, it is most likely to occur when the underlying insecurities or negative beliefs are revealed. These insecurities are usually born as early in life as a result of painful experiences of being rejected, criticized, or even hurt. These "shaming" experiences lead people to believe negative thoughts about themselves and to view particular flaws, mistakes, or flaws in their character as threats that could hinder them from being loved and accepted.

Shame vs. Guilt!

Shame is a perceived lack of power to satisfy one's ideal self's norms, whereas guilt involves a perceived power and intent to be hurtful, that is, to break one's moral self's standards. Guilt is about my behaviour: "I did something wrong," whereas shame is about my being: "I am wrong."

Recognizing your error can be beneficial. However, overpowering emotions of guilt can rapidly evolve into shame, but if you can manage your guilt in a healthy way rather than allowing it to spin out of control, it can have some great benefits.

How to overcome shame?

Help for shame starts by identifying the shameful feelings. Many people are unaware of their guilt. Some people are aware of their shame however, they fear that seeking help will make them reveal their shame to other people. Since shame is associated with feelings of guilt and self-esteem issues, many individuals fear that the people from whom they seek online counselling might discover that their shame is justified. They are afraid of being exposed and fear that people might judge them when they realize the truth.

Self-defeating thoughts are not good for anyone. Shame can be treated regardless of the source. If you think that you are embarrassed it's crucial to realise that your shame has no benefit. In fact, it could result in harm to yourself or others. Seek online counselling to get immediate assistance from an online counsellor and top psychologist in India

Psychology of Shame: Seek Online Therapy to Help With Shame

The reason for shame is often traumatizing experiences. Someone may feel that they were responsible for the negative experience they had or feel guilt and shame due to bullying, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. When shame is the result of trauma, it's essential that online counselling is sensitive to trauma and addresses the root cause of shame. The therapy options that are commonly used during online counselling are:

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is a method of helping clients understand the link between their emotions, thoughts, and actions. Online therapists concentrate on the subconscious thoughts that usually go under the radar, such as "I do not deserve to be loved as I'm a fool."
  • Prolonged exposure (PE): The term "prolonged exposure" refers to the therapy that gradually exposes a subject to greater and more intense doses of stimuli that are related to the traumatic experience. For example, someone who has been injured may start by looking or holding knives and gradually begin to talk about the stabbing, or even being in a place that brings back memories of the stabbing. The purpose in PE is to slowly take away the power of the incident and, as a result, decrease the intensity of feelings such as guilt, shame, and anxiety.
  • Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT): CPT is a process that takes place over 12 sessions where a patient speaks about their experiences, attempts to comprehend the way that their trauma influences their behavior and emotions, and implements strategies to control the negative traumatic effects, which includes shame.
  • Stress-inoculation Training (SIT): SIT is a form of CBT that teaches people how to handle stress before it becomes overwhelming. It includes instruction on breathing techniques, relaxation of muscles as well as noticing and changing the automatic negative thoughts, as well as activities for role-playing.
  • Eye-movement desensitisation and remediation (EMDR): EMDR is an approach to treatment based on stages that uses specific eye movements in order to help someone talk about trauma. As time passes, the patient develops the ability to control their feelings and incorporate the experience into their own life.

These strategies used in online counseling for shame might help with other types of shame, like depression-related shame and guilt. Studies consistently show that the most reliable predictor of the effectiveness of therapy is a close connection between the online counselor and the patient. An online therapist who values your beliefs and assists you in establishing goals is essential.

Contribution by: Dr (Prof) R K SuriBest Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach & Mr. Utkarsh YadavCounselling Psychologist



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