Judgment is a common, almost instinctual part of human behaviour. We judge others, often without even realizing it, based on their appearance, actions, words, and lifestyles. While it might seem harmless or even necessary at times, judgment can have profound impacts on our mental health and relationships. Understanding why we judge others is a crucial step toward fostering empathy and improving our mental well-being.

1. The Evolutionary Perspective

From an evolutionary standpoint, judgment is rooted in survival. Early humans needed to quickly assess whether someone was a friend or foe, and this ability to make rapid judgments helped our ancestors survive. These snap judgments were often based on observable traits and behaviours that could indicate potential threats or alliances. This evolutionary wiring still influences us today, although the context has drastically changed.

2. Social Comparison Theory

Developed by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954, social comparison theory posits that we evaluate ourselves by comparing ourselves to others. This comparison can be upward (comparing ourselves to those we perceive as better off) or downward (comparing ourselves to those we perceive as worse off). These comparisons help us determine our social and personal worth, influencing our self-esteem and identity.

• Upward Comparison: While upward comparisons can be motivating, they often lead to feelings of inadequacy, and envy which can further lead to identity crisis. For instance, seeing someone’s success on social media might make us feel less accomplished in our own lives.

• Downward Comparison: On the other hand, downward comparisons can boost our self-esteem by making us feel superior. However, this can lead to a false sense of self-worth and a tendency to look down on others.

3. Cognitive Biases

Our brains are programmed to use mental shortcuts known as heuristics. These shortcuts help us make quick decisions but can also lead to cognitive biases that skew our perceptions and judgments of others.

• Confirmation Bias: We tend to favor information that confirms our preexisting beliefs and ignore information that contradicts them. For example, if we believe someone is untrustworthy, we’re more likely to notice behaviours that support this belief and overlook those that don't.

• Fundamental Attribution Error: This bias leads us to attribute others’ behaviours to their character while attributing our behaviours to external circumstances. If someone is late to a meeting, we might think they are irresponsible, but if we are late, we blame traffic.

4. The Role of Insecurity

Insecurity is a significant driver behind why we judge others. When we feel insecure about ourselves, we are more likely to judge others to protect our self-esteem. Criticizing others can create a temporary sense of superiority and distract us from our insecurities.

5. Insecurity and Projection

Projection is a psychological defense mechanism where we attribute our undesirable traits or feelings to others. For instance, if we feel envious of someone’s success, we might judge them as arrogant or undeserving. By projecting our feelings onto others, we can avoid confronting our own emotions.

6. Social and Cultural Influences

Society and culture play a crucial role in shaping our judgments. Social norms and cultural values dictate what is considered acceptable or unacceptable, influencing how we perceive and judge others.

7. Media and Stereotypes

The media often perpetuates stereotypes, which can significantly impact our judgments. These assumptions about a group of people are generalized and oversimplified stereotypes. For example, the portrayal of certain ethnic groups in a negative light can lead to biased judgments and reinforce prejudices.

8. Group Dynamics

Group dynamics and the desire to fit in can also drive us to judge others. Conforming to group norms often involves adopting the group’s judgments and biases. This need for social acceptance can lead us to judge those who do not conform to our group’s standards.

The Impact of Judgment on Mental Health

Judging others can have a detrimental impact on our mental health and well-being. Constant judgment can lead to feelings of negativity, cynicism, and isolation. Moreover, being judged by others can lead to anxiety, depression, and a diminished sense of self-worth.

Breaking the Cycle of Judgment

Breaking the cycle of judgment involves fostering empathy and self-awareness. Here are some strategies to help reduce judgmental behaviour:

• Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your thoughts and behaviours. Ask yourself why you feel compelled to judge others and what insecurities might be driving this behaviour.

• Practice Empathy: Try to imagine yourself in other situations. Understand their circumstances and perspectives before making judgments. Empathy can help us see others more compassionately.

• Mindfulness: Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, can help increase self-awareness and reduce automatic judgments. Being present in the moment can help us respond to situations more thoughtfully.

• Challenge Stereotypes: Actively challenge stereotypes and seek out diverse perspectives. Exposure to different cultures and viewpoints can reduce biased judgments.

• Focus on Positivity: Cultivate a positive mindset by focusing on your strengths and achievements. Building self-confidence can reduce the need to judge others to feel better about yourself.

Conclusion

Judging others is a natural human tendency rooted in our evolutionary past and influenced by cognitive biases, insecurities, and social norms. While it might seem harmless at times, judgment can negatively impact our mental health and relationships. By understanding the reasons behind our judgments and practicing empathy and self-awareness, we can foster a more compassionate and mentally healthy society.

If judgmental thoughts affect your life and relationships, consider seeking online counselling or therapy. By seeking guidance from a “Psychologist near me”, you can become able to identify triggers, develop empathy, build self-esteem, and manage stress through techniques like cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT). Therapy promotes mental well-being and fosters a compassionate perspective, benefiting both you and those around you.

Contributed by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach &  Ms. Samiksha Sharma, Counselling Psychologist

References:

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497-529.

Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117-140.

Tversky, A., & Kahneman, D. (1974). Judgment under uncertainty: Heuristics and biases. Science, 185(4157), 1124-1131.