Emotional barriers are invisible blocks or barriers that are put between you and your spouse, where you keep your guard up, but not being fully transparent in the relationship. These barriers may be subconsciously or deliberately constructed. These barriers hinder us from being completely mentally and emotionally present with the partner and reduce our ability to trust our spouse or the relationship.

Intimate relationships require that people feel confident, committed, involved, and open to one another. However, a condition of vulnerability, feeling a lack of trust can be among the most frequent interpersonal barriers to relationships. Barriers to emotional well-being are usually caused by fear. It could be due to the emotional scars of childhood trauma, bad experiences in prior relationships as well as fearing rejection or losing the relationship. If someone has problems with trusting other people and their feelings, they may create psychological barriers around themselves to avoid getting hurt in the future. It generally happens when people are afraid of being hurt or rejected, which is why they are often shut off from other people without being conscious of what they are doing. This is particularly true in relationships, which is not just an acquaintance or friendship.

If emotional barriers are present, they prevent individuals from developing an intimate connection with others. With emotional barriers, one can be more cautious, aloof, and unable to form an enduring bond. This impacts the closeness and connection in the relationship and may cause doubt and distrust between partners. If emotional barriers block such connection and attachment, one may be emotionally unable and the other person doesn't believe that the relationship is meeting their needs for emotional fulfillment. This can affect not only the emotional health of the relationship but also your sexual well-being because deep intimacy is dependent on the trust of both parties and vulnerability. All of these factors can impact the overall satisfaction in the relationship.

Unconsciously Creating Emotional Barriers?

We often perform seemingly innocent actions and do not realize that they can cause barriers and hinder us from developing solid bonds with others. For instance, you may not be telling how you're feeling or your thoughts about the day. This could be perceived as being closed-off or distant and can hinder effective communication.

If people are unable to communicate, they might be considered emotionally inaccessible, which means they are not able to discuss their feelings and tend to be uneasy when their loved ones express feelings. The people who have their emotional walls in place may become more critical or critical of other people. They aren't willing to be exposed in a vulnerable manner which is why they tend to judge others harshly.

Other examples of harmless behaviors that can cause barriers include never initiating sexual intimacy, kissing, hugging, or engaging in any form of physical intimate relationship. Many people are unable to open themselves from acting authentically and letting their partner know every aspect of their persona and identity, as well as the person they truly are. 

Strategies to break down the walls and become more intimate emotionally:

• Recognize Barriers: The first step is to recognize the trust issues or other emotional barriers you may be facing. One must take on the responsibility of their concerns about trust and work on resolving these issues. One method to start the process is to practice mindfulness, or other self-reflection exercises since they aid in developing self-awareness and becoming calm, and confident.

• Seek help from an Online Counsellor: You can also go for Online Counselling where a trusted mental health professional can help you to identify your underlying insecurities and fear and help you resolve your conflicts. This will help you to build your self-confidence, which could also aid in building confidence in your partner.

• Communicate with your partner: You should do some things with your partner to overcome certain emotional obstacles. Start by working on the basics of conversations with the person you are with. It is possible to set time slots to just discuss your day or how you're experiencing. It can be a short conversation, but if done regularly, it could be extremely beneficial because it develops into a habit within your relationship, where you attempt to cut down barriers and become more vulnerable and open. Use more of “I” Statements to begin with. Then, talk to your partner about any barriers to your emotional well-being that you have noticed, and collaborate with your partner to devise strategies that the two of you can implement together to take them down.

• Be emotionally vulnerable to your partner: Another approach to accelerate the procedure is to just start by being brave by letting someone get closer to your heart. It could be making yourself feel intimate as well as vulnerable to your loved one regularly. This can force you to share your emotions and be vulnerable towards one another. Once you've done this, you will feel more comfortable and the conversation becomes more simple. Then, one can begin developing trust and faith that our partner will be always there for us, and our anxiety will decrease. 

One can begin building trust and becoming more successful in relationships through emotional bonds and attachment. Set objectives for yourself about how you can improve your relationship. This could mean that you'll initiate physical contact more frequently with your partner or might encourage discussions with your partner regarding the way they feel when they are having a hard time doing so.

Seek help from the best Relationship Counsellor in India at TalktoAngel, and discuss your relationship concerns and ways to overcome them.

Contribution by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Best Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach & Mr. Utkarsh Yadav, Counselling Psychologist