Have you ever felt nervous about speaking up in a group or avoided a social event because you were worried about what people might think? That feeling — the fear of being judged — is something many people experience. But for some, it goes beyond occasional nervousness and becomes something more intense and persistent: social anxiety. Social anxiety can feel overwhelming, but it’s not just about being shy. There’s actually a lot of science behind why we fear being judged and how our brains and bodies respond in these situations. 

What Is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety disorder is a mental health condition where a person has an intense, ongoing fear of being watched or evaluated by others. This fear can show up in everyday situations, like meeting new people, speaking in public, or even eating in front of others. It’s more than just feeling shy or awkward. They fear making mistakes, being embarrassed, or being negatively judged — even when there’s no real reason to believe that will happen.

Why Do We Fear Judgment?

To understand this fear, we need to go back to our evolutionary roots. Humans are social beings, and rejection once meant isolation — sometimes even death. That primal fear still lingers in our brain today. The threat of exclusion can trigger intense stress and even lead to depression, especially when social bonds feel threatened or broken. Although we’re no longer fighting for survival in a tribe, our brains still treat social rejection as a threat, triggering fear and anxiety when we think others might judge us.

What Happens in the Brain?

The fear of being judged is deeply connected to how our brains respond to perceived threats. 

• The Amygdala:- This is the brain’s fear center. Research shows that in people with social anxiety, the amygdala can become overactive, especially when exposed to things like disapproving facial expressions or unfamiliar social situations. That overreaction can make harmless interactions feel threatening, leading to physical symptoms like a racing heart, sweating, or shaking.
• The Prefrontal Cortex:-  This part of the brain helps us regulate emotions and make decisions. It can usually calm down the amygdala’s fear signals. But in people with social anxiety, this regulation may not work as well, making it harder to think clearly and logically in anxiety-inducing situations.

Is It in Your Genes?

Genetics also plays a role in social anxiety. Studies suggest that it can run in families, meaning some people may be more naturally sensitive to anxiety due to inherited traits. But genes aren’t everything. Our environment and life experiences also matter a lot. For example:

• Bullying or social rejection in childhood can increase the risk.
• Overprotective or critical parenting might lead to a fear of making mistakes.
• Cultural pressures can shape how we feel about social success or failure.

What Social Anxiety Feels Like

• Rapid heartbeat or chest tightness
• Sweating or trembling
• Nausea or dizziness
• Fear of embarrassment or humiliation
• Overanalyzing conversations after they happen
• These reactions aren’t just “in your head.” They’re a real response from your nervous system, treating a social situation like a threat.

Ways to Cope and Heal

The good news is that social anxiety is highly treatable, and many people are able to overcome or manage their symptoms effectively. Here are some common approaches:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT):- CBT is one of the most effective treatments. It helps you recognise unhelpful thought patterns, challenge them, and gradually face social situations that cause anxiety. 

• Exposure Therapy:- This involves slowly and safely confronting feared situations, like speaking up in meetings or going to a party. The goal is to desensitise the fear response, so it becomes easier to handle over time.
• Medication:- In some cases, doctors may recommend medications like SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) to help manage the symptoms of anxiety. These can be helpful, especially when used alongside therapy.
• Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques:- Practices like meditation, deep breathing, and grounding exercises can help calm the nervous system and reduce anxiety. Mindfulness also helps you stay present, rather than worrying about past or future judgments.
• Lifestyle Support:- Good sleep, regular exercise, a balanced diet, and limiting caffeine or alcohol can all support mental health and make a big difference in managing anxiety.

You’re Not Alone

It can feel isolating, but it’s more common than most people realise — and having it doesn’t mean you’re broken or weak. Whether you’re just starting to recognise your anxiety or you’ve been living with it for a while, know that there are tools, support systems, and treatments out there that can help you feel more confident and connected.

Conclusion

The fear of being judged isn’t just a personality quirk or something to “get over.” It’s a complex interaction between your brain, your thoughts, your experiences, and your biology. But understanding the science behind it is the first step in learning to manage it with the help of online counselling or in-person counselling. With time, support, and the right strategies, you can retrain your brain to see social situations not as threats but as opportunities for connection and growth.

Contributed By: Contributed by Dr. (Prof.) R. K. Suri, Clinical Psychologist and Life Coach, &. Ms. Riya Rathi, Counselling Psychologist.

References

• American Psychological Association. (2020). Social anxiety disorder. https://www.apa.org/topics/anxiety/social-anxiety

• NIMH. (2017). Social anxiety disorder: More than just shyness. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/social-anxiety-disorder-more-than-just-shyness

• Rapee, R. M., & Heimberg, R. G. (2008). A cognitive-behavioral model of anxiety in social phobia. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 46(3), 334–347. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2007.12.009