Sibling Rivalry Disorder

Sibling Rivalry Disorder

January 09 2023 TalktoAngel 0 comments 168 Views

When it comes to raising siblings, every parent of many children has lofty ideals: we envision our little ones sharing clothes and toys, dressing alike for holiday photos, and standing up for one another against bullies at school.

But the reality is that managing the personalities and temperaments of multiple children requires considerable coordination. There will be rivalry. There will be bitterness and jealousy. Conflicts will arise, some of which will be fierce.

So what can you as a parent do to sow the seeds of peace? Everything you need to know about the causes of sibling rivalry is provided here, along with advice on how to encourage your children to act more like friends than fierce rivals. To understand the issues of sibling rivalry in your children, consult with the best Clinical Psychologist near me.

The persistent antagonism between children raised in the same family is known as sibling rivalry. Siblings who are not blood relatives, step-siblings, or even adopted or foster siblings, may experience it. The sibling rivalry could be noticed in the form of:

  • Physical or verbal combat
  • Name-calling
  • Arguing and tattling
  • Competing constantly for parental attention
  • Expressing envious thoughts

The most common causes of sibling rivalry are:

  • The feeling of being unequal amounts of attention and discipline by parenting
  • Comparisons by parents frequently
  • Temperamental variations including mood, disposition, and adaptability, and their unique personalities play a large role in how well they get along.
  • Sometimes a younger child wants to come out of the shadows of their older sibling
  • Sometimes children feel that their relationship with their parents is in jeopardy on the feeling of being left out.

We challenge you to find a parent in the entire globe that hasn't experienced this stress as a parent. It's hard for mom or dad, but it's completely natural.

Sometimes you want to argue with your partner or spouse, am I right? You do, of course! You are constantly with them. Although close family ties are a positive thing, they can also cause family members to become occasionally irritated with one another.

The same thing occurs between siblings, and because you're dealing with small, immature people, a couple more elements may exacerbate those irritations:

A lot of changes in life: Changing residences? Expecting a child? Divorcing someone? Both parents and children find these situations unpleasant, and many children release their frustrations and worries on the closest person or object (i.e., their little sister).

Stage and age: Have you ever seen a toddler hit their younger, more innocent sibling? Sibling rivalry is worse at certain developmental ages, such as when both children are under 4 or when there are disproportionately large or tiny age differences between siblings.

Jealousy: You commended your 3-year-old for the lovely artwork they created at daycare. Their older sibling is now threatening to tear it apart. Why? They are envious of the compliments.

Individuality: Children naturally want to distinguish themselves from others, especially their siblings. This may inspire contests to see who can eat the most waffles, race the fastest automobile, or construct the tallest skyscraper. You may think it's insignificant, but I feel like it's really vital.

Lack of ability to resolve conflicts: If your children frequently witness you and your partner fighting in an offensive or violent manner, they can take that conduct after you. They may genuinely be at a loss on how to resolve their disputes.

Family dynamics: It can affect how the entire family interacts and communicates if one child has a chronic disease or special needs, is treated differently based on birth order, or has undesirable behaviors reinforced.

Take a big breath before you start blaming yourself for all the decisions you've made in life that have led to your kids constantly fighting. With or without your intervention, siblings will argue.

Although it's likely that you weren't the direct cause of your children competing with one another, your decisions can nevertheless influence or even exacerbate an already-existing sibling conflict. Additionally, you cannot entirely stop it no matter what you do.

Nevertheless, some parental actions can make sibling rivalry worse. If you engage in any of the following behaviors (even unintentionally), you run the risk of putting your family through a lot of stress:

  • Praise one youngster while berating another repeatedly
  • Set up competitions between your children
  • Impose particular family roles
  • Clearly give one child's needs and interests more consideration

Just keep in mind that you most likely didn't start your children's sibling rivalry, but you could unintentionally be escalating it. Fortunately, there are a few simple strategies to encourage greater comradely in your home.

Although you can't totally stop it, using these parenting techniques may help your children argue less frequently.

Delete your knowledge of "fairness.": Since every child is unique, so too should be their parenting style. One child can require a different level of care, responsibility, and discipline than another in order to thrive.

Make one-on-one time a priority: Try to set aside sometime each day to speak with each of your children separately. Then, attempt to spend some "alone time" every week or month engaging in a hobby you enjoy.

Encourage your family to have a team mentality: Parents and children tend to get along better and compete less when they operate like a team working toward shared objectives.

Give everyone a bit of space: Establish spaces in the home where your children may go to get away from one another if they share a bedroom.

Describe family gatherings: All family members should take advantage of this wonderful chance to discuss problems, propose solutions, and resolve disputes out of the spotlight.

Your children will argue. It's usually not your fault, but if the arguing is severe or seriously affecting the peace in your home, it may be time to examine how disputes are handled in your family.

You can frequently make minor changes to your parenting methods to encourage your children to cooperate better. Additionally, you can ask your child's doctor or the Best Psychologist in India at TalktoAngel Asia’s best Online Counselling and digital health well-being platform for additional advice if you require it.

Parenting Tips to resolve sibling rivalry are:

  • Foster the siblings and nurture their abilities, talents, and interests,
  • Focus on cooperation rather than competition
  • Do Not make comparisons
  • Encourage "me time" for each child
  • Plan fun family time and activities together
  • Share their thoughts, emotions, and feelings with kids.
  • Parents must  listen to both children's opinions periodically
  • Facilitating  communication among both  children
  • Modeling positive conflict resolution
  • Define ground rules for resolving conflicts. Like- no physical violence
  • Encouraging win-win situations.

Contribution byDr(Prof) R K SuriBest Child Psychologist & Parenting Coach & Aditi Bhardwaj 



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