What is a one-sided Relationship?

When there is a notable disparity in the amount of effort, emotional engagement, or reciprocity between the parties involved, the relationship is said to be one-sided. One person usually gives more to the other in these kinds of relationships—emotionally, physically, or in other ways. The following traits are typical of a one-sided relationship:

• Emotional Investment: In a relationship, one person may be emotionally invested, attached, or passionately dedicated, while the other may be less involved, emotionally aloof, or uninterested.

• Effort: When it comes to reaching out, arranging plans, or settling disputes, one person constantly makes a greater effort to keep the connection going than the other. 

• Support: When one person continuously shows attention, care, or support but receives no return, there may be a lack of mutual understanding or support.

• Communication: can be uneven if one person spends more time discussing, listening, or trying to solve problems than the other, while the other person is either uncommunicative, dismissive, or passive.

• Reciprocity: When one person offers more (such as time, attention, or affection) than they receive in return, there is frequently an unequal exchange of emotions, behaviors, or gestures.

• Power dynamics: One partner may have greater influence or decision-making authority than the other, resulting in an imbalance of power or control in the relationship.

If the mismatch is not addressed or fixed, one-sided relationships can be emotionally taxing, irritating, and eventually unsustainable. They may cause one individual to feel exploited, undervalued, or unfulfilled. People in these kinds of relationships must set healthy boundaries, be honest about their wants and expectations, and determine whether or not the partnership is truly healthy and gratifying for both parties.

Signs & Symptoms

Depending on the dynamics between the parties involved, signs and symptoms of a one-sided relationship might vary, however, the following are some typical indications:

• Emotional Disproportion: It is consistently the case that one individual shows greater affection, love, or interest than the other.
  There's a discernible variation in the amount of emotional disclosure or talking about feelings between each individual.

• Effort Disparity: One person constantly contacts the other, arranges activities, or tries to spend time with them.
  There is a difference in who makes an effort to keep the relationship going (for example, one person texts first and makes plans, etc).

• Patterns of Communication: In a conversation, one person takes the lead while the other is obliging or uninterested.
  More often than not, conversations center on one person's needs or interests. 

• Support and Understanding: When one person continuously shows the other person they are understanding, supportive, or sensitive to their needs, this is not returned.
  One individual does not provide the other with emotional support or empathy.

• Making Decisions: In a relationship, one person typically makes the majority of the decisions without talking to the other.
  One individual seems to have more power or influence over how the connection develops.

• Feelings of Unfulfillment or Resentment: Someone may feel that they are investing more time, energy, or emotional support than they are getting in return.
  If there is no resolution to the imbalance, resentment may eventually grow.

• Absence of Reciprocity: Acts of compassion, favors, or gestures are not returned in kind.
  One individual regularly gives more things (gifts, compliments, etc.) and doesn't get similar things in return.

• Respect and Boundaries: While claiming one's own needs and boundaries, one individual may ignore those of the other.
  There is an air of disdain or contempt for the thoughts, emotions, or choices of the other person.

• Feeling Undervalued or Taken for Granted: In a relationship, one party may feel underappreciated, undervalued, or taken for granted.
  There isn't much appreciation or acknowledgment for one person's work.

• Unequal Effort in Conflict Resolution: While one person continuously works to resolve disagreements or address difficulties, the other person tends to ignore or avoid them. 

Acknowledging these indications and manifestations can assist people in evaluating the state of their partnerships and determining whether changes are necessary to attain a more harmonious and satisfying relationship with their friend or partner. Mutual respect, boundaries, and communication are essential for discussing and maybe resolving problems in a one-sided relationship.

Causes

One-sided relationships can happen for several reasons, most commonly because of unequal expectations, emotional engagement, or effort on the part of both partners. These are a few typical reasons:

• Mismatched Expectations: One spouse may be willing or able to provide more emotional support, time spent together, or dedication to the relationship than the other. 

• Communication problems: Inadequate communication can result in miscommunication or one spouse not expressing their wants completely, which keeps the other couple from realizing there is an imbalance.

• Emotional Unavailability: Unresolved past difficulties, commitment anxiety, or a general lack of emotional alignment can all contribute to an individual's lack of full emotional investment or availability. 

• An imbalance of power can occur when one spouse dominates the relationship, making choices entirely by themselves and ignoring the demands of the other.

• Absence of Reciprocity: Mutual give and take is the foundation of a healthy relationship. One person's constant taking without reciprocating emotionally can lead to imbalance and resentment.

• A partner who experiences insecurity or low self-esteem may dread communicating their demands or feel unworthy of equal treatment, which can result in a passive position in the relationship.

• Dependency: An unequal dynamic may arise when one spouse becomes unduly reliant on the other for identity, affirmation, or emotional stability.

• Different Relationship Priorities: Feelings of neglect or being taken advantage of might arise when one spouse gives the relationship a higher priority than the other.

• External Factors: One spouse may emotionally retreat due to stress at work, family matters, or other external demands, which might alter the dynamics of the relationship.

• Unsolved Issues: Unresolved issues from the past might cause spouses to interact in an unbalanced way because they remain unsolved. 

Open communication, respect for one another, and a desire on the part of both parties to comprehend one another's needs and strive toward a harmonious and balanced relationship are all necessary to address one-sided partnerships.

Impacts on the Mental Health

Both partners in a one-sided relationship may experience serious mental health consequences. A one-sided relationship can affect mental health in the following ways:

• Emotional Stress and Anxiety: Stress and anxiety can result from an imbalance in a relationship when one partner feels ignored or invests more emotionally than the other. Feeling dissatisfied or uncertain about the future of the relationship regularly can lead to ongoing anxiety and discomfort. 

• Low Self-Esteem and Self-Doubt: The partner who perceives themselves as contributing more to the relationship may begin to question their value or worth. They could feel inadequate or unworthy if they wonder why they aren't getting the same amount of love, care, or effort from their spouse.

• Depression: Feelings of melancholy, pessimism, and depression can be exacerbated by a long-term one-sided relationship in which one party feels continuously ignored or neglected. Over time, these emotions may become more intense due to a lack of reciprocity and emotional connection.

• A spouse who appears to be taking more than they are giving might cause anger and frustration due to an imbalance in effort or emotional engagement. This anger has the potential to fester and strain the bond, worsening the other person's mental health.

• Isolation and Withdrawal: Withdrawing from social engagements or once-enjoyed activities might be a result of feeling emotionally ignored or unhappy in a relationship. Feelings of loneliness and being stuck in a relationship can both be made worse by this isolation.

• Trust Issues: Being in a one-sided relationship where emotional needs are not addressed might cause trust issues in subsequent relationships. It could be difficult going forward to be vulnerable or build good relationships with people as a result.

• Effect on General Life Satisfaction: A major connection that is continuously one-sided may have an impact on general happiness and life satisfaction. The imbalance can cast a shadow over other positive elements of life, resulting in feelings of melancholy and discontent. 

Recognizing the imbalance, being honest with the partner about needs and expectations, and asking for help from friends, and family, or taking online counseling to help you work through the associated feelings and choices are common steps in addressing these effects. Early identification of the symptoms and proactive action might lessen their detrimental consequences on general well-being and mental health.

How to deal with it?

Managing an unbalanced relationship can be difficult and emotionally taxing. The following actions can help you deal with this situation:

• Recognize your emotions: Acknowledge and embrace your feelings on the disparity in the relationship. Feelings of hurt, disappointment, or frustration are acceptable.

• Analyze the partnership: Examine the dynamics of the connection with candor. Think about whether the connection feels primarily one-sided or whether your wants, feelings, and efforts are being met in return.

• Open communication means sharing your feelings with the other person in a kind and sincere manner. Instead of accusing the other person, use "I" phrases to convey your feelings as you calmly and voice your concerns.

• Set boundaries: Make sure your boundaries safeguard your mental health. This could entail cutting back on your time and effort in the partnership until things start to balance out again.

• Put self-care first. Look after your mental, emotional, and physical health needs. Take part in extramarital activities that make you happy and fulfilled.

• Think about the viewpoint of the other person: Investigate the cause of the imbalance. The other person may be unaware of how their actions are affecting you, or that their difficulties are preventing them from reciprocating.

• Seek assistance: Discuss your feelings and experiences with a therapist, family member, or trusted friend. Obtaining insight and encouragement from an external source can be beneficial.

• Consider your options: Depending on the circumstances, you might need to reconsider the relationship's future. The other person might occasionally be unwilling or unable to alter their conduct, despite your best attempts.

• Emphasize wholesome relationships: Spend time and effort cultivating satisfying and mutually supporting relationships. Be in the company of individuals who respect and admire you.

• Recognize when to let go: You may need to think about taking a step back or letting go if, despite your best attempts, the relationship remains one-sided and harmful to your well-being. Recall that it's acceptable to put your emotional well-being and happiness first.

Handling a one-sided relationship calls for bravery, self-awareness, and patience. In the end, you should put your health first, and it's critical to make decisions that support your emotional needs and ideals.

Conclusion

When one person puts a lot more effort into the relationship than the other, it can become unbalanced and cause dissatisfaction. This is sometimes referred to as a one-sided relationship. 

Relationships that are one-sided by nature cannot last and frequently harm the welfare of the more invested member. They may result in emotions of emotional tiredness, irritation, and neglect. The unequal effort and emotional engagement in these partnerships might impede personal development and satisfaction. It's critical for people to identify the telltale symptoms of a one-sided relationship early on and to have honest conversations about any concerns with their spouse. Ultimately, sustaining happy, meaningful partnerships where both sides feel appreciated and supported requires cultivating reciprocity, respect, and real caring.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms. Sulochna Arora, Psychologist