What is marriage?

Marriage is the legal, long-term, and public establishment of a relationship between two people. It entails the addition of two people in a bond that, while apparently lasting until death, is frequently ended prematurely by divorce or separation. While many people find great happiness in marriage, there are also numerous hurdles, many of which are significant. The way a couple manages them frequently determines how long their relationship will last. While keeping in mind that changing a spouse usually fails unless the other person also wants to change, it may be essential for one or both partners to give up erroneous beliefs or dysfunctional behavioral patterns that they themselves self-hold in order to maintain a long-term connection. Marriage is the relationship between two individuals, normally of the opposite sex, and rarely relatively similar sex who promise to romantically love, care for and share their lives with one another, the advantages and drawbacks of domestic life. It is essentially a union of the hearts and minds, made more acceptable according to whatever forms of sexual intimacy are acceptable to both partners. The Top relationship psychologist Prof (Dr) R K Suri said, “ I have got 7 crushes on my “Biwi”, and I’ve been married seven times – all to the same woman.” Dr. Suri explained that he never got divorced from his lovely wife, but rather his marriage transitioned from one stage to another. Accordingly, he has described 7 stages of marriage.

Stages of marriage

The best way to understand marriage is to think of it as a number of stages or phases that most couples go through while sharing their lives. Although there are connections between each of these following stages of marriage, they are also each distinct from one another. You might be able to develop a stronger and more satisfying relationship by being aware of the various phases of marriage and the phases you will experience as a couple.

1. Passion - The Passion stage is the first stage. This is the honeymoon phase of attraction, love, closeness, and excitement. This stage may last only a few weeks or several years. Most people are aware of the initial Stage of Romance. We couldn't stand to live apart because life was so wonderful. When we weren't with them, our thoughts frequently wandered to the other. We were in love with this person and were certain that they were the one we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with. Our minor differences were entertaining and cute.

2. Realization - The honeymoon stage ends as you come to terms with the fact that your spouse is only capable of thought and will occasionally make mistakes, and the realization stage begins. Disillusionment, disappointment, and the onset of conflicts characterize this stage. As they work through these disagreements, couples establish a solid base based on acknowledgment, respect, and receptivity to change. This is the second stage of marriage in which individuals become more confident to learn about their spouses and loved ones.

3. Rebellion - The third stage is the stage of rebellion. Conflicts can result from power struggles and the need to assert your individual needs. Learning to fight well and coming out of this stage stronger as a couple are the main objectives.

4. Cooperation - Marriages definitely become more challenging as time goes on. Children are born, houses get bigger, and personal commitments deepen. Marriage becomes more like a business in the cooperation stage. Leave all that love, emotion, and self-realization stuff aside; there are home loans to pay, investments to manage, careers to direct, careers to manage, careers to manage, health to manage, and most importantly children to raise. 

5. Reunion - Couples enter the fifth stage of marriage after leaving stage four, which can last 10 to 20 years. The children have matured and chosen to move out. Careers are stable, and it's likely that the house will be paid off. A healthy marriage can be revived in stage five because there are fewer distractions and more opportunities for intimacy. It is crucial to focus on issues related to physical and mental health in stage five. Keep yourself healthy, and engaged in the world, and activities to keep your mind sharp. Stage five of the stages of marriage can be a happy time of reunion with your spouse if it is handled with awareness.

6. Explosion - Stage 6 is constantly possible. The Explosion state is characterized by a major life change, such as a job loss, health crisis, major relocation, or financial crisis. Relationship quality can frequently deepen and offer a stable base from which to weather life's storms. On the other hand, it might break under additional strain.

7. Completion - In the completion stage, knowing one another has a much deeper meaning and offers a greater benefit. Never lose your inner child, it is a key component of being a happy man. Women also possess the spirit of a young girl inside, regardless of how many lines around their eyes have formed. The real key to a forever happy relationship is to keep a childlike love of life, laughter, nature, and each other. Living in the present rather than the past is another aspect of this. The best times should always be today and tomorrow when a marriage is completed, and this belief should never exist.

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Contributions: Dr(Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Marriage Counsellor & Swati Yadav, Counselling Psychologist

References:

Duncan, S. F., Childs, G. R., & Larson, J. H. (2010). Perceived helpfulness of four different types of marriage preparation interventions. Family Relations, 59, 623–636.

Johnson, C. A., Stanley, S. M., Glenn, N. D., Amato, P. R., Nock, S. L., Markman, H. J., & Dion, R. M. (2002). Marriage in Oklahoma: 2001 baseline statewide survey on marriage and divorce (S02096OKDHS). Oklahoma City, OK: Department of Human Services.

Larson, J. H. (2003). The great marriage tune-up book. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass. Schramm, D. G., Marshall, J. P., Harris, V.W., & George, A. (2003). Marriage in Utah: 2003 baseline statewide survey on marriage and divorce. Salt Lake City: Utah Department of Workforce Services.

Weiner-Davis, M. (2012). The marriage map. Woodstock, IL: Divorce Busting Center. (The full text of The Marriage Map can be retrieved at http://www.divorcebusting. com/a_marriage_map.htm.)