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Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Secure and Loved

April 22 2025 TalktoAngel 0 comments 237 Views

A strong and lasting relationship is rooted not only in love but also in emotional security. While love brings partners together, the feeling of being emotionally safe keeps them connected. Both people may be open, vulnerable, and their most genuine selves when they feel secure in a partnership. If you're looking for ways to make your partner feel genuinely secure and loved, here are some thoughtful strategies that can transform your marital relationship.

1. Foster Honest and Open Communication

A safe partnership is built on open communication. Your partner will feel more comfortable sharing your objectives, desires, and feelings if you are open and honest with them. Avoid keeping secrets or withholding emotions; instead, build a habit of sharing and active listening with assertiveness.

Regular and open communication promotes confidence and reduces miscommunication (Gottman & Silver, 2015). It reassures your partner that their voice matters and that you are emotionally present.

Try this: Make time for regular “heart-to-heart” talks to discuss emotions, challenges, and relationship goals.

2. Show Genuine Appreciation

Acknowledging their efforts and qualities, whether for the little things they do or for simply being themselves, can strengthen emotional bonds.

When appreciation is frequently communicated, it fosters positive feelings and reinforces commitment (Chapman, 2015).

Try this: Leave a kind note or express gratitude verbally each day to build emotional warmth.

3. Be Consistent and Keep Your Promises

Trust is built through consistent actions. This means following through on your words, being punctual, and maintaining reliability in daily interactions.

According to relationship research, reliability contributes to emotional safety and long-term relationship satisfaction (Arriaga et al., 2006).

Try this: Avoid making commitments you can’t honour, and always communicate if plans change.

4. Use Physical Affection Thoughtfully

Touch is a powerful symbol of affection and connection. Physical affection boosts the release of oxytocin, the hormone responsible for bonding and trust (Ditzen et al., 2007).

Try this: Don’t wait for intimacy to show affection; make physical touch a daily part of your routine.

5. Support Their Dreams and Goals

Being your partner’s cheerleader sends a clear message: “I believe in you.” Whether they’re pursuing a new hobby, starting a career transition, or working on self-esteem & self-improvement, your support matters.

Supportive behaviour in romantic partnerships has been linked to greater emotional satisfaction and resilience (Feeney & Collins, 2015).

Try this: Ask how you can help with their goals, attend their important events, or simply express pride in their journey.

6. Avoid Harsh Criticism and Comparisons

Criticism, especially when frequent or harsh, can damage your partner’s confidence and make them feel emotionally unsafe. Instead of nitpicking or comparing them to others, practice empathy and constructive dialogue.

Relationships thrive when both partners feel accepted for who they are (Gottman & Silver, 2015).

Try this: Replace criticism with gentle suggestions, and focus on your partner’s strengths.

7. Be Emotionally Attuned

Being emotionally available means being present not just physically, but emotionally too. Listen to your partner's fears, validate their feelings, and respond with empathy. Avoid minimising or ignoring their emotions or emotional control.

Emotionally responsive partners create a secure attachment, which is essential for healthy relationships (Johnson, 2008).

Try this: When your partner is upset, sit with them, ask open questions, and simply listen without jumping to solutions.

8. Spend Meaningful Time Together

Life gets busy, but taking out time for one another reinforces love and security. Spending undistracted time together, whether it be on a weekend trip or preparing supper, improves emotional intimacy.

Couples who consistently spend quality time together report higher levels of satisfaction and connection (Chapman, 2015).

Try this: Plan a weekly “us time” where you do something you both enjoy without phones or work distractions.

9. Respect and Revisit Boundaries

Healthy boundaries aren’t limitations, they’re guideposts for mutual respect and understanding. Talk openly about your comfort zones and ask about your partner’s. Establishing and respecting boundaries enhances trust and reduces unnecessary conflict (Tatkin, 2012).

Try this: Check in occasionally with your partner about how they feel in the relationship and whether any boundaries need adjusting.

10. Affirm Your Love and Commitment Often

Say and demonstrate your affection for your lover frequently instead of assuming they already know. They feel emotionally secure when they receive verbal assurances and regular displays of affection, particularly in stressful or uncertain situations.

Try this: Say “I love you,” “I’m here for you,” or “We’ll get through this together” regularly and especially during tough times.

Conclusion

Making your partner feel secure and loved isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about consistent, thoughtful actions that show you care. Prioritising emotional stability and sincere love creates the foundation for a partnership based on respect, trust, and unwavering support.

Remember, love may be the spark, but emotional security is the flame that keeps the relationship burning brightly.

Contributed By: Contributed by Dr. (Prof.) R. K. Suri, Clinical Psychologist and Life Coach, & Ms. Tanu Sangwan, Counselling Psychologist.

References

Arriaga, X. B., Capezza, N. M., & Daly, C. A. (2006). The role of relationship schemas and core beliefs in perceptions of romantic partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 90(4), 559–574.
Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. Northfield Publishing.
Ditzen, B., Neumann, I. D., Bodenmann, G., von Dawans, B., Turner, R. A., Ehlert, U., & Heinrichs, M. (2007). Effects of different kinds of couple interaction on cortisol and heart rate responses to stress in women. Psychoneuroendocrinology, 32(5), 565–574.
Feeney, B. C., & Collins, N. L. (2015). A new look at social support: A theoretical perspective on thriving through relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 19(2), 113–147.
Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert. Harmony Books.
Holmes, J. G., & Rempel, J. K. (1989). Trust in close relationships. Review of Personality and Social Psychology, 10, 187–219.
Johnson, S. M. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Little, Brown Spark.
Tatkin, S. (2012). Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship. New Harbinger Publications.