In today’s society, positivity is often hailed as a virtue, a key to happiness and success. Motivational quotes flood social media, encouraging people to "look on the bright side" and "stay positive." While a positive mindset can indeed be beneficial, there is a darker side to this constant push for positivity, known as toxic positivity. This phenomenon can become a compulsion, undermining genuine emotional well-being and stifling authentic human experiences.

Understanding Toxic Positivity

The term "toxic positivity" describes the unwarranted, unproductive oversimplification of happiness and optimism in any circumstance. This attitude denies and invalidates genuine human emotions, creating a façade of happiness while suppressing negative feelings. It insists that one should maintain a positive mindset despite legitimate emotional distress or adversity, often neglecting the importance of setting healthy boundaries. These healthy boundaries allow individuals to experience a full range of emotions without feeling pressured to mask their true feelings.

Characteristics of Toxic Positivity

• Dismissive Language: Phrases like “It could be worse,” “Just stay positive,” or “Everything happens for a reason” can minimize and invalidate someone’s feelings. Such statements often serve to shut down conversations about genuine emotional experiences, making individuals feel unheard and misunderstood.
• Shame and Guilt: When people are encouraged to suppress negative emotions, they might feel ashamed or guilty for having them. This belief that one should always be positive can create a cycle of self-blame for experiencing normal human emotions.
• Avoidance of Reality: Constantly promoting positivity can lead to avoidance of real issues, preventing individuals from addressing and resolving their true feelings and problems. This avoidance can lead to deeper emotional struggles over time.
• Isolation: When people feel pressured to maintain a positive demeanour, they may isolate themselves to avoid being judged for their genuine emotions. This can result in feelings of loneliness and alienation, further complicating emotional struggles.

The Compulsion of Positive Thinking

Positive thinking can become a compulsion when it transforms from a helpful mindset into an obligatory state. This compulsion can manifest in several ways:

• Emotional Suppression: Individuals may feel compelled to ignore or suppress negative emotions to appear positive, leading to increased stress and emotional imbalance. This emotional suppression can ultimately lead to a breakdown, as pent-up feelings can no longer be contained, adversely affecting one's self-esteem.
• Denial of Authentic Experience: By compulsively focusing on the positive, individuals might deny themselves the full spectrum of human emotions. This denial can hinder personal growth, emotional health, and self-esteem, as processing both positive and negative experiences is essential for a well-rounded life.
• Unrealistic Expectations: The compulsion to be positive at all times can set unrealistic standards for oneself and others, leading to disappointment and frustration when these standards are inevitably unmet. Such unrealistic expectations can create a sense of failure when individuals are unable to maintain a positive outlook, ultimately diminishing their self-esteem.

The Impact of Toxic Positivity

• Mental Health:- Toxic positivity can exacerbate mental health issues. When people feel that their negative emotions are invalid or unwelcome, they may not seek the support they need. Feelings of loneliness, despair, and anxiety may rise as a result. The pressure to remain positive can prevent individuals from acknowledging their mental health struggles, creating a dangerous cycle.
• Relationships:- In relationships, toxic positivity can hinder open and honest communication. Partners may feel unable to express their true feelings, leading to misunderstandings and a lack of intimacy. This inability to communicate openly can create distance and resentment between individuals, ultimately damaging the relationship.
• Personal Growth:- Experiencing and processing a range of emotions is essential for personal development. Toxic positivity can stunt this growth by preventing individuals from learning from their negative experiences. Without acknowledging and reflecting on challenges, individuals may miss opportunities for growth and self-improvement

Recognizing and Addressing Toxic Positivity

To combat toxic positivity, it’s important to recognize it and adopt healthier emotional practices:

• Acknowledge All Emotions: Accept that it’s okay to feel negative emotions. Since emotions are a normal reaction to life's difficulties, it is better to accept them than to repress them. Recognizing emotions is the first step toward addressing them.
• Validate Feelings: Validate your own and others’ emotions. Instead of saying, “Just be positive,” try, “I understand why you feel that way.” Validation can create a safe space for emotional expression and foster deeper connections, helping to alleviate stress and promote emotional well-being.
• Seek Balance:  Aim for a balanced perspective. Positivity is valuable, but so is recognizing and addressing negative emotions. Strive for a nuanced understanding of life that encompasses both highs and lows, which can prevent the onset of depression stemming from unrealistic positivity.
• Practice Empathy: Show empathy towards others. Listen to their experiences without immediately trying to fix them with positive statements. Empathy fosters connection and understanding, creating a supportive environment for emotional expression.
• Professional Help: If you struggle with toxic positivity, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. Therapy can provide tools for managing emotions healthily and effectively. Professionals can help individuals explore their feelings and develop healthier coping strategies.

The Role of Social Media

Toxic positivity is spread largely through social media. Platforms are inundated with posts promoting positivity, often ignoring the complexities of real-life struggles. To mitigate this, users can:

• Curate Content: Follow accounts that promote a balanced view of life, including those that discuss mental health and the importance of acknowledging all emotions. Seeking diverse perspectives can help combat the negative effects of toxic positivity.
• Share Authentically: When sharing personal experiences, be honest about the highs and lows. This authenticity can encourage others to do the same, creating a more genuine and supportive online community.
• Engage Thoughtfully: When interacting with others online, offer support and empathy rather than superficial positivity. Thoughtful engagement fosters deeper connections and promotes emotional understanding.

Conclusion

Toxic positivity, while seemingly well-intentioned, can be harmful when it becomes a compulsion. It’s crucial to recognize that all positive and negative emotions are valid and essential for a healthy emotional life. By acknowledging and addressing our full range of emotions, we can foster genuine well-being and personal growth. Remember, it’s okay not to be okay all the time, and true positivity comes from embracing life’s full spectrum of experiences. For those seeking support, online counselling services, such as those provided by TalktoAngel, can connect you with the best psychologists in India who can help navigate these emotional complexities,  including conditions like PTSD. Understanding and addressing emotions associated with PTSD and other mental health issues is vital to avoiding the pitfalls of toxic positivity and promoting authentic healing.

Contributed by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach &  Ms. Gurleen Kaur, Counselling Psychologist

References

• M. H. (2021). Toxic Positivity: Why It's Harmful and How to Cope. Psychology Today. Retrieved from Psychology Today
• T. K. (2020). The Danger of Toxic Positivity. Healthline. Retrieved from Healthline
• A. K. (2019). How to Stop Toxic Positivity. Verywell Mind. Retrieved from Verywell Mind