If a Relationship makes you feel abandoned, devalued, attacked, or misunderstood, it is toxic. The relationship is toxic if it puts your emotional, psychological, or even physical safety in jeopardy.

According to the definition of a toxic relationship, it is a relationship in which one partner frequently engages in emotionally and physically abusive behavior toward the other. As opposed to a Toxic Relationship, which undermines Self-esteem and depletes energy, a healthy relationship boosts our emotional energy and self-esteem. An interest in our partner's welfare and personal development, as well as the capacity to share control and decision-making, are all characteristics of a healthy relationship. Having a shared desire for each other's happiness is, in essence, a sign of a healthy relationship. A secure relationship is one where we feel safe to be who we are without fear. It is also one where we feel at ease and secure. The opposite of a safe environment is a toxic relationship.

Insecurities, selfishness, dominance, and control are traits of a toxic relationship. Maintaining such a relationship puts our very existence in danger. It would be a gross understatement to call a toxic relationship dysfunctional.

Types of Toxic Relationships

It's crucial to understand that toxic relationships are not just found in romantic partnerships. They can be very stressful, especially if the toxicity isn't properly controlled, and they exist in families, the Workplace, and among friend groups.

• When negative behaviors occur: A toxic environment is produced by some people's persistent complaining, insults, and general negativity. Perfectionism, unhealthy competition, and a propensity for lying are examples of other negative character traits. Insecurities can also cause someone to act negatively.

• When one (or both) people aren't aware of themselves: Sometimes people don't realize how negatively they affect other people. They might not also be aware of healthier forms of communication. They probably don't understand social cues well enough to recognize when they're annoying others or giving them the impression that they're being judged or ignored.

• When someone intentionally causes harm to another: Some people intentionally behave rudely and hurtfully. You might feel singled out and targeted in these circumstances as a result of their rude words and deeds. Additionally, a person might try to manipulate or control you, which is toxic behavior.

• When a partner is having an affair: If an intimate partner is constantly lying and having an affair without even trying to stop, it adds a toxic element to the relationship.

• When someone is violent: Abuse may occur when someone intentionally and persistently causes you harm. Abuse is never acceptable, regardless of whether they are constantly talking negatively about you or are physically hurting you in any way.

Signs of a toxic relationship

Only you can determine whether a relationship has more negative aspects than positive ones. However, if your well-being is constantly threatened by what the other person says, does, or doesn't do, then the relationship is probably toxic.

Relationships that involve verbal or physical abuse are referred to as toxic. Nevertheless, there are other, more subtle signs of a toxic relationship, such as:

• You feel underrated and exhausted because you are giving more than you are receiving.

• Your needs don't seem to be being met, or you feel constantly disrespected.

• Over time, your sense of self-worth suffers.

• You experience feelings of attack, betrayal, disrespect, and lack of support.

• After talking to or being around the other person, you may develop issues like Depression, Anger, or fatigue.

• You make each other look your worst. For example, your competitive friend makes you more competitive out of spite, which is unpleasant for you.

• Around the person, you're not at your best. For example, they seem to draw out a mean streak you don't usually have or they bring out the gossipy side of you.

• You have the impression that you must approach this person cautiously to avoid being the target of their venom.

• You put a lot of effort and emotional stamina into trying to make them feel better.

• It's always your fault. They reverse events so that mistakes you previously believed they had made are now your fault.

How to Restore a Negative Relationship

If everyone in the relationship is willing to change, there are ways to make it better. Following are six suggestions for handling a toxic relationship:

1. Have an open and honest conversation

Be honest and open with your partner about your feelings and the responsibilities you will bear in the relationship. By sharing the workload and having these discussions together, partners are more cohesive. Pick a time when both partners are rested and in a good frame of mind for these conversations so that they can be meaningful and productive.

2. Stay Away from the Past

The past is beyond our control, and dwelling on it will prevent us from being present in the moment. Spend some time processing the past so that you are not forced to think about it as you try to move your relationship forward.

3. Have compassion for your partner

It's crucial to approach your partner with compassion because it enables you to see them as a real partner rather than as the enemy. When there is a difference of opinion, demonstrating compassion can greatly enhance communication and change everything.

4. Accept Responsibility for Your Contribution

A relationship that has been ruined by verbal or physical abuse needs the offender to be completely honest, take full responsibility for the pain they are causing, and work consistently for a long period to try and make it right.

5. Consult a therapist

Relationship problems and the Stress they cause can be successfully treated with therapy. To recover or move on from a toxic relationship, the first step is to pinpoint the underlying cause of a problem or feeling. You can learn additional strategies for handling expectations and relationship problems through Couple Counselling or Relationship Counselling.

Finding a Couple Counsellor and exploring your relationship patterns and childhood experiences can both be done using the TalktoAngel platform. You can identify the potential roots of your relationship patterns by digging deeper and laying out any dysfunctional patterns in your family history.

Dealing with a toxic relationship

Feeling entrapped in a toxic relationship is not uncommon. If you believe that your relationship has deteriorated, you might want to consult Dr. R. K. Suri, a clinical psychologist, for Online Therapy. Additionally, he might be able to treat any physical signs of stress you might be going through.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms. Swati Yadav, Psychologist