Abrosexuality is one of the many identities within the broader spectrum of sexual orientations. It is a relatively lesser-known term, but as understanding and awareness of diverse sexual identities grow, more individuals are finding solace in labels that reflect their experiences. Abrosexuality describes individuals whose sexual orientation fluctuates over time. This means that an abrosexual person might feel attracted to different genders at different times, and this attraction may shift periodically. The shifts may be temporary or long-lasting, but the defining feature of abrosexuality is its fluidity.

Understanding Abrosexuality

Abrosexuality falls under the umbrella of fluid sexual orientations. Members of the LGBTQ+ community coined the term and it has gained attention through online forums, social media, and advocacy groups. An abrosexual individual experiences fluctuations in their sexual attractions, which can vary in intensity, gender focus, and emotional connection.

These fluctuations can be periodic or random, meaning an abrosexual person may identify as gay, straight, bisexual, or attracted to no one at all, depending on the phase they are in. It's essential to note that this fluctuation is natural and does not stem from confusion, indecisiveness, or a lack of self-awareness. Instead, it is a distinct and authentic way of experiencing sexual attraction.

Sexual Fluidity and Abrosexuality

Sexual fluidity, a concept introduced by psychologist Lisa Diamond, describes the ability of an individual's sexual attractions to change over time. Diamond’s research focused primarily on women, but the principle can be applied more broadly. Diamond (2008) argued that sexual orientation is not necessarily a fixed trait but can evolve throughout one’s life. This idea is critical for understanding abrosexuality, as it underlines the fluidity that abrosexual individuals experience.

Psychological Perspectives on Abrosexuality

1.  Cognitive Dissonance Theory

Cognitive Dissonance Theory, proposed by Leon Festinger (1957), is one framework that may help explain the internal struggles faced by some abrosexual individuals. Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person experiences conflicting thoughts, beliefs, or values, which can create discomfort. For abrosexual individuals, especially those who have grown up in heteronormative environments, fluctuating sexual attractions may cause internal conflict. They might feel disoriented or confused because their experiences do not align with conventional understandings of stable sexual orientation.

For example, an abrosexual person may experience moments of attraction toward a certain gender, only to later feel drawn to a different gender. This shift can generate dissonance, particularly if societal expectations or personal beliefs suggest that sexual orientation should be constant. Therapy, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), can help individuals resolve this dissonance by challenging rigid beliefs about sexuality and encouraging acceptance of their fluid experiences.

2. Queer Theory

Queer Theory, which emerged in the late 20th century, also offers valuable insights into abrosexuality. Queer Theory challenges traditional ideas about gender and sexuality, emphasizing that these concepts are socially constructed rather than biologically determined. Queer theorists argue that sexual orientation and gender identity exist on a spectrum and that society’s efforts to categorize individuals into distinct groups (such as heterosexual or homosexual) are overly simplistic.

Abrosexuality fits well within Queer Theory’s framework. Rather than conforming to binary or fixed notions of sexuality, abrosexuality embraces the idea that sexual attraction can change over time. Queer Theory encourages a more flexible understanding of identity, allowing individuals to express themselves without the need to fit into predefined categories. Abrosexual individuals often find comfort in Queer Theory’s rejection of rigid sexual labels, as it validates their fluid experiences.

3.  The Humanistic Perspective

From a humanistic psychology perspective, championed by theorists like Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow, self-actualization and personal growth are central to understanding one’s identity. The focus of humanistic psychology is on the individual's subjective experience, growth, and self-discovery. For abrosexual individuals, embracing their fluid sexual orientation is an essential aspect of self-actualization.

Rogers (1961) introduced the concept of the “fully functioning person,” which is someone open to new experiences, is authentic in their self-expression, and lives according to their true self rather than societal expectations. Abrosexuality may be part of an individual’s journey toward becoming a fully functioning person. By accepting the fluid nature of their attractions and resisting the pressure to conform to rigid sexual norms, abrosexual individuals can achieve greater personal authenticity and psychological well-being.

Challenges Faced by Abrosexual Individuals

Despite the growing awareness of diverse sexual orientations, abrosexual individuals may face several challenges, including:

• Misunderstanding and Invalidation:- One of the primary difficulties faced by abrosexual people is misunderstanding or invalidation of their experiences. People unfamiliar with the concept of sexual fluidity may accuse abrosexual individuals of being indecisive, confused, or “just going through a phase.” This misunderstanding can lead to feelings of isolation or frustration, particularly when someone’s sexual identity is not taken seriously. This misunderstanding can exacerbate issues related to anxiety, identity crisis, and low self-esteem.
• Internalized Homophobia and Biphobia:- Some abrosexual individuals may internalize negative societal attitudes about sexual fluidity, leading to internalized homophobia or biphobia. This internalization can cause distress, particularly if the person feels pressure to conform to a more stable or socially acceptable sexual orientation. This is exacerbated by stereotypes that label fluid sexualities as unreliable or inconsistent, further stigmatizing abrosexual individuals. The stigmatization can contribute to stress, depression, and anxiety.
• Relationship Difficulties:- In romantic or sexual relationships, abrosexual individuals may struggle to explain their fluctuating attractions to partners. Partners might feel confused or insecure if they do not understand the nature of abrosexuality. Open communication and education are essential in these situations, as understanding the fluidity of attraction can help both the abrosexual individual and their partner navigate their relationship.

Therapies and Support for Abrosexual Individuals

Several therapeutic approaches can support abrosexual individuals as they navigate their sexual fluidity and related challenges.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT):- CBT can help individuals identify and challenge negative beliefs about their sexual orientation. Abrosexual individuals who feel ashamed, lonely, or confused about their fluctuating attractions might benefit from CBT, as it helps reframe unhelpful thoughts and encourages a more accepting and compassionate view of oneself. By addressing cognitive distortions, such as the belief that one’s sexual orientation must remain fixed, CBT can foster greater self-acceptance and reduce feelings of anger or frustration. Additionally, CBT can help individuals develop assertiveness in expressing their evolving sexual identity, supporting healthier relationships and emotional well-being.
• Affirmative Therapy:- LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy is an approach specifically designed to support individuals within the LGBTQ+ community. It emphasizes acceptance and validation of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities. For abrosexual individuals, affirmative therapy provides a safe space to explore their sexual fluidity without judgment. Therapists trained in affirmative therapy are equipped to address the unique challenges faced by abrosexual individuals and help them navigate their identity in a positive and affirming way. This approach can be especially helpful for individuals dealing with loneliness or isolation, offering a sense of belonging and emotional support. Affirmative therapy also aids in goal setting, helping individuals define what personal growth and self-improvement look like within the context of their sexual fluidity.
• Mindfulness-Based Therapy:- Mindfulness-based therapies, such as Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), can be helpful for abrosexual individuals experiencing anxiety or stress related to their identity. Mindfulness encourages individuals to stay present at the moment and observe their thoughts and feelings without judgment. For abrosexual individuals, this practice can promote self-compassion and reduce the pressure to conform to societal expectations about sexual orientation.

Conclusion

Fluidity in sexual desire is one of the distinctive and legitimate characteristics of abrosexuality. It draws attention to the variety of human sexuality and questions conventional notions of fixed sexual identities. From a psychological perspective, theories such as Cognitive Dissonance Theory, Queer Theory, and the Humanistic approach offer valuable insights into the experiences of abrosexual individuals. Understanding and supporting abrosexual individuals require an open mind, as well as a rejection of rigid societal norms regarding sexuality.

Through therapeutic interventions like CBT, affirmative therapy, and mindfulness-based therapy, abrosexual individuals can navigate their fluid sexual orientation with greater self-acceptance and psychological well-being. In addition to in-person therapy, online counselling platforms, such as talktoangel, provide convenient access to professional support, helping individuals work through challenges related to their identity and emotional health. These platforms can connect individuals to some of the best psychologists in India, offering tailored support for resilience and personal growth. By fostering an inclusive, understanding environment, both in therapy and society, we can help abrosexual individuals embrace their authentic selves, build self-esteem, and move toward a more fulfilled, confident life.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms Nicole Fernandes, Counselling Psychologist.

References

• Diamond, L. M. (2008). Sexual fluidity: Understanding women's love and desire. Harvard University Press.
• Festinger, L. (1957). A theory of cognitive dissonance. Stanford University Press.
• Rogers, C. (1961). On becoming a person: A therapist's view of psychotherapy. Houghton Mifflin.