White Lies in Relationships
White Lies in Relationships
February 23 2023 TalktoAngel 0 comments 4971 Views
When we need to avoid trouble or protect
someone else's feelings, we occasionally allow ourselves to tell a white lie.
Even though these lies may be small, it is generally not a good idea to begin
lying to your partner while you are still in a relationship. The lies begin to grow over time and almost
create a precedent, eventually destroying your mutual trust.
White lies are frequently told when someone
wants to avoid conflict or confrontation or to absolve themselves of
responsibility. In an effort to lessen the blow of a breakup, they are
frequently used. If you regularly tell white lies, it's likely that your
partner already knows you do so. As a result, it serves no purpose to lie and,
if you don't stop, will probably ruin your relationship.
If you lie, will it harm your relationship?
Of course, it is true.
- You
might lie about small things or large things.
- You
might purposefully leave out some information and tell a partial lie that is
actually a partial truth.
- To
avoid hurting someone else's feelings, you might tell white lies.
- To
avoid telling the whole truth, you might avoid answering questions or giving deceptive
responses.
- In order to protect yourself from a flaw or
mistake, you might boldly and confidently lie on your face.
You will undoubtedly be found in one of these
situations at some point. You could make an apology and ensure that you won't
lie again. You might then find yourself lying once more. This develops into a
habit.
What you should know about the effects of
lying and your options?
1. Relationship Trust becomes compromised or
lost: Your partner is unsure of
what to trust and what to avoid these days. They might become anxious and uneasy in the relationship as a result.
Your actions are causing confusion in your partner's thoughts, leaving them
unsure of what to believe. They may begin to doubt everything else you have
told them, whether it was true or partially true, as a result. If you kept
something significant from your partner, they might begin to wonder what else
is being kept from them and when it will be revealed. Lying might cause your
partner to question everything you do.
2. Lying is harmful to both partners: Lying is harmful to you and your relationship. Your partner might experience hurt,
unimportance, and devaluation. Your partner might feel that they should not
have to rely on you or your words. Even if your partner hasn't caught the lie,
the fact that you know you lied or concealed the truth may make you feel
guilty, which can have a negative impact on your openness and the happiness of
your relationship. Your sense of integrity toward yourself may be impacted,
which will lower your self-esteem.
3. You become trapped in a lie-filled maze: You will feel the need to keep lying more
and more to cover up your lying once you begin. And this might develop into a
habit. The lies keep coming in a vicious cycle, and you might feel trapped in
them and unable to escape them without hurting yourself, your partner, and your
relationship. Sometimes when you repeat a lie enough times, you may come to
believe it to be true. Additionally, if you are not caught telling a lie, it
might motivate you to continue lying in the future with the assurance that you
won't be discovered.
4. Even if you are not caught or confronted,
your partner is aware:
Your partner will notice something is off even if you are not caught lying and
they have not confronted you about it. Unable to identify it, they may grow
distant, and occasionally they may even start to doubt their own value in the
relationship.
5. Recovering from the damage done and trying to alter your behavior pattern are both possible: This requires you to make a strong commitment, be honest with your partner in the future, own up to your past lies, and have an open discussion with them. Your primary responsibility will be to restore trust. In order to rebuild trust, you both will need to get involved in this. Never forget that during this process, trust shouldn't be destroyed by additional lies.
When
Lies Are Necessary
Sometimes telling lies is necessary when
someone's safety is in trouble. In these situations, it is acceptable to lie in
order to protect oneself or one's loved ones:
- Making
up a story to get away from or protect a victim from a domestic abuser.
- Lying
to an offender in order to keep children safe from abuse.
- Lying
to a person who is armed with a toy.
- Lying
to someone who appears drunk or high.
- Lying to a person who appears to be
experiencing mental illness.
It is advisable to seek consultation with the
Best Therapist in India. Seeking Online Couple Counselling is
strongly recommended on account of issues of trust, lies, commitment, etc. Be
sure to slow down if you guys want to try to solve it on your own. Frequently,
the partner who lied is eager to move on from the situation and seeks out quick
fixes. All of your partner's feelings should be allowed to be expressed, as
should their right to ask lots of questions. Gaining trust requires more than
just making a choice. It requires a lot of daily small tasks to be completed
over a long period of time. If you require assistance to break the habit of
lying and try to fix the harm done, contact a TalktoAngel Online Therapist or
an Online Counsellor.
It could be that your partner is fundamentally
different and you will have to make more effort to reach equanimity. While
doing so, you can seek help from experts or professionals, and seek Marriage Counselling Online.
If you are finding compulsive lying issues and find
different values and have regular disputes & fights, it’s time to seek
online consultation with a good psychologist.
Contribution
by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Best Clinical Psychologist & Life
Coach & Swati Yadav, Counselling Psychologist
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