White Lies in Relationships

White Lies in Relationships

February 23 2023 TalktoAngel 0 comments 2078 Views

When we need to avoid trouble or protect someone else's feelings, we occasionally allow ourselves to tell a white lie. Even though these lies may be small, it is generally not a good idea to begin lying to your partner while you are still in a relationship. The lies begin to grow over time and almost create a precedent, eventually destroying your mutual trust.

White lies are frequently told when someone wants to avoid conflict or confrontation or to absolve themselves of responsibility. In an effort to lessen the blow of a breakup, they are frequently used. If you regularly tell white lies, it's likely that your partner already knows you do so. As a result, it serves no purpose to lie and, if you don't stop, will probably ruin your relationship.

If you lie, will it harm your relationship? Of course, it is true.

  • You might lie about small things or large things.
  • You might purposefully leave out some information and tell a partial lie that is actually a partial truth.
  • To avoid hurting someone else's feelings, you might tell white lies.
  • To avoid telling the whole truth, you might avoid answering questions or giving deceptive responses.
  • In order to protect yourself from a flaw or mistake, you might boldly and confidently lie on your face.

You will undoubtedly be found in one of these situations at some point. You could make an apology and ensure that you won't lie again. You might then find yourself lying once more. This develops into a habit.

What you should know about the effects of lying and your options?

 

1. Relationship Trust becomes compromised or lost: Your partner is unsure of what to trust and what to avoid these days. They might become anxious and uneasy in the relationship as a result. Your actions are causing confusion in your partner's thoughts, leaving them unsure of what to believe. They may begin to doubt everything else you have told them, whether it was true or partially true, as a result. If you kept something significant from your partner, they might begin to wonder what else is being kept from them and when it will be revealed. Lying might cause your partner to question everything you do.

 

2. Lying is harmful to both partners: Lying is harmful to you and your relationship. Your partner might experience hurt, unimportance, and devaluation. Your partner might feel that they should not have to rely on you or your words. Even if your partner hasn't caught the lie, the fact that you know you lied or concealed the truth may make you feel guilty, which can have a negative impact on your openness and the happiness of your relationship. Your sense of integrity toward yourself may be impacted, which will lower your self-esteem.

 

3. You become trapped in a lie-filled maze: You will feel the need to keep lying more and more to cover up your lying once you begin. And this might develop into a habit. The lies keep coming in a vicious cycle, and you might feel trapped in them and unable to escape them without hurting yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Sometimes when you repeat a lie enough times, you may come to believe it to be true. Additionally, if you are not caught telling a lie, it might motivate you to continue lying in the future with the assurance that you won't be discovered.

 

4. Even if you are not caught or confronted, your partner is aware: Your partner will notice something is off even if you are not caught lying and they have not confronted you about it. Unable to identify it, they may grow distant, and occasionally they may even start to doubt their own value in the relationship.

 

5. Recovering from the damage done and trying to alter your behavior pattern are both possible: This requires you to make a strong commitment, be honest with your partner in the future, own up to your past lies, and have an open discussion with them. Your primary responsibility will be to restore trust. In order to rebuild trust, you both will need to get involved in this. Never forget that during this process, trust shouldn't be destroyed by additional lies.

 

When Lies Are Necessary

Sometimes telling lies is necessary when someone's safety is in trouble. In these situations, it is acceptable to lie in order to protect oneself or one's loved ones:

  • Making up a story to get away from or protect a victim from a domestic abuser.
  • Lying to an offender in order to keep children safe from abuse.
  • Lying to a person who is armed with a toy.
  • Lying to someone who appears drunk or high.
  • Lying to a person who appears to be experiencing mental illness.

It is advisable to seek consultation with the Best Therapist in India. Seeking Online Couple Counselling is strongly recommended on account of issues of trust, lies, commitment, etc. Be sure to slow down if you guys want to try to solve it on your own. Frequently, the partner who lied is eager to move on from the situation and seeks out quick fixes. All of your partner's feelings should be allowed to be expressed, as should their right to ask lots of questions. Gaining trust requires more than just making a choice. It requires a lot of daily small tasks to be completed over a long period of time. If you require assistance to break the habit of lying and try to fix the harm done, contact a TalktoAngel Online Therapist or an Online Counsellor.

It could be that your partner is fundamentally different and you will have to make more effort to reach equanimity. While doing so, you can seek help from experts or professionals, and seek Marriage Counselling Online.

If you are finding compulsive lying issues and find different values and have regular disputes & fights, it’s time to seek online consultation with a good psychologist.

Contribution by: Dr (Prof) R K SuriBest Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach & Swati YadavCounselling Psychologist

 



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