Why breakups are hard to deal with

November 21 2024 TalktoAngel 0 comments 124 Views

Breakups can feel like one of the toughest experiences in life. Even if you know it's for the best, ending a relationship can leave you sad, confused, and lost. Let's talk about why breakups are so hard to deal with in simple terms.

Loss of a close connection:--You have a special and emotional connection with the other person while you are in a relationship. You tell them your secrets, share your day-to-day life, and make plans together. When a breakup happens, you suddenly lose this close connection. It's similar to losing both a boyfriend and a closest friend at once. This loss can leave a big space in your life, creating feelings of grief and loss that can be hard to process.
Change in routine:- Relationships often involve shared routines. Maybe you always called each other before bed or had dinner together on a certain day. After a breakup, these routines are disrupted. You might not know what to do when you used to be with your partner. This change can make you feel misplaced and unsettled, and can even trigger anxiety as you navigate this new phase of your life.
Self-doubt:- Breakups often prompt individuals to reflect on their self-worth, leading to thoughts like, "Did I do something wrong?" or "Was I inadequate?" Feeling uneasy and uncertain is valid, especially if you were not involved in the separation. These kinds of feelings may affect your sense of low self-esteem, making you question your value and ability to connect with others moving forward.
Fears about the future:- Setting shared goals for the future is a typical aspect of most relationships. A breakup can shatter these plans. You might worry about being alone or never finding love again. Concerns about what lies ahead can feel truly frightening and daunting, creating stress about your future and anxiety about the unknown.
Physical and emotional pain:- You might be surprised to find that breakups can cause physical pain. You may find it hard to sleep or experience changes in your appetite. A mix of emotions such as relief, confusion, anger, sadness, and depression can arise, and managing these feelings can be exhausting, leaving you mentally and physically drained.
Loss of shared friends or community:- Sometimes when you're in a relationship, you share friends or become part of each other's communities. Ending a romantic relationship could also result in losing some of these bonds. This could make you feel even more alone.
Adjusting to being single:- It could feel hard to get used to being single again after a long and committed relationship. You might need to relearn how to do things on your own or make decisions without consulting a partner. Feelings of isolation or loneliness may result from the change in everyday habits and living. It could be difficult and take a while to get used to this alteration, as you adjust to a new sense of independence and navigate the emotional challenges of being alone.

How Professional Help Facilitates Healing After a Breakup

Professional help, such as therapy or online counselling, can play a crucial role in helping individuals navigate the emotional challenges of a breakup. A breakup can trigger intense emotions like sadness, anger, confusion, and even depression, which can feel overwhelming without the right support. A trained therapist provides a safe and non-judgmental space to explore and express these feelings, offering emotional relief and helping individuals understand the deeper layers of their pain. Seeking the best psychologist in India, or wherever you are located, can significantly aid in processing these emotions more effectively.

One key benefit of professional help is gaining perspective. Therapists guide individuals in reflecting on the relationship, helping them to see patterns, both healthy and unhealthy, that they might not have recognized on their own. This can result in individual development and a deeper comprehension of one's genuine needs in future relationships. Therapy also encourages self-compassion, helping people to let go of blame, guilt, or shame that often accompanies breakups.

Another aspect is the development of coping strategies. Professionals equip individuals with tools to manage difficult emotions, such as mindfulness, cognitive reframing, and emotional regulation techniques. These support systems help clients break free from the cycle of overthinking or rumination, which can hinder healing. Therapy can also help with sleep issues that often arise during a breakup, ensuring you address both emotional and physical health.

Moreover, therapists handle the process of grieving after breakups. Preventing emotional stasis, they assist people in effectively navigating the phases of grief, which include denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance. Moreover, for those who experience deeper issues like depression or anxiety post-breakup, therapy can offer targeted treatments, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), to alleviate symptoms.

In essence, professional help offers emotional guidance, coping mechanisms, and healing strategies that empower individuals to process their breakup healthily, build resilience, and eventually move forward with renewed strength and clarity.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while breakups can feel overwhelming and affect multiple areas of life, it's important to remember that healing is possible. The pain and confusion you may be experiencing are part of the natural process of letting go. By giving yourself time, leaning on your support system, and practising self-care, you can gradually rebuild your emotional strength. Eventually, you'll find clarity and growth, emerging from the experience with a deeper understanding of yourself and what you need for future happiness.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms Swati Yadav, Counselling Psychologist.

References

Rhoades, Galena & Kamp Dush, Claire & Atkins, David & Stanley, Scott & Markman, Howard. (2011). Breaking Up Is Hard to Do: The Impact of Unmarried Relationship Dissolution on Mental Health and Life Satisfaction. Journal of Family Psychology: JFP: journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43). 25. DOI:10.1037/a0023627
Gilbert, Steven & Sifers, Sarah. (2011). Bouncing Back from a Breakup: Attachment, Time Perspective, Mental Health, and Romantic Loss. Journal of College Student Psychotherapy. 25. 295-310. DOI:10.1080/87568225.2011.605693