Mental health issues, particularly depression, are a significant challenge for millions of people worldwide. Yet, when it comes to men, there is a noticeable trend: they often struggle to acknowledge or seek help for their depression. This issue is multifaceted, rooted in cultural norms, psychological factors, and biological considerations. The socialization of men from an early age, societal expectations surrounding masculinity, and the stigma around mental health all contribute to this phenomenon. Understanding why men often fail to admit they’re depressed is crucial to improving how we approach mental health, offering support, and encouraging men to seek help when they need it most.

The Cultural Expectations of Masculinity

One of the primary reasons men often struggle to admit they’re depressed is the deeply ingrained cultural expectations surrounding masculinity. From a young age, boys are socialized to adhere to ideals of strength, emotion control, and self-reliance. These norms can create an internalized belief that vulnerability is a sign of weakness, and that emotional expression is reserved for moments of joy or anger—not sadness or vulnerability. In psychological terms, this can be linked to the concept of gender role conflict, which occurs when individuals experience distress due to a discrepancy between their personal identity and society's expectations of their gender role.

For many men, emotional suppression becomes a learned behaviour. This means that when they experience depression, they may feel unable or unwilling to express their emotions openly, fearing judgment or rejection. Toxic masculinity, a term that refers to the harmful pressures of adhering to traditional masculine norms, further exacerbates this issue. Toxic masculinity promotes an ideal of being stoic, tough, and dominant, leaving little room for emotional expression or mental health concerns. As a result, men might mask their depressive symptoms with anger, irritability, or even withdrawal.

The Reluctance to Seek Help: Stigma and Shame

Another significant barrier for men is the stigma associated with mental health, particularly depression. Stigma—the negative societal perception of mental illness—can prevent individuals from acknowledging or seeking help for their symptoms. Men, especially, may feel a sense of shame or embarrassment about experiencing depression, believing that it conflicts with the image of what it means to be "manly." In psychological research, this is known as self-stigma, where individuals internalize societal prejudices about mental illness and apply them to their own experiences.

The pressure to conform to masculine ideals of emotional stoicism means that seeking professional help, such as therapy or counselling, can be seen as a sign of weakness. The belief that "real men" should be able to handle their problems on their own often deters men from reaching out. The mental health treatment gap between men and women compounds this reluctance to seek help. Research consistently shows that men are less likely to seek professional help for depression, anxiety, or stress and this disparity is particularly troubling considering that untreated depression can lead to severe consequences, including substance abuse, relationship issues, and even suicide.

Suicide rates among men are significantly higher than among women, and many of these deaths are linked to untreated depression. This tragic reality underscores the importance of breaking down the stigma surrounding men's mental health, encouraging open dialogue, and fostering an environment where men feel safe to acknowledge their struggles.

The Biological and Psychological Factors Behind Depression in Men

While cultural and societal factors are crucial, it’s also important to understand the biological and psychological dimensions of why men may struggle to recognize their depression. Research indicates that men are more likely to exhibit externalizing symptoms, such as irritability, anger, or increased risk-taking behaviours, rather than the internalizing symptoms like sadness or hopelessness often associated with depression in women. This means that men may not recognize their feelings as depression but rather as frustration or dissatisfaction with life.

Additionally, depression in men is often linked to somatic symptoms, such as fatigue, sleep disturbances, or aches and chronic pains, rather than the emotional and psychological symptoms that are more commonly recognized. These physical symptoms may lead men to attribute their feelings to stress or physical health issues, rather than addressing the underlying emotional and psychological factors. Men may be more likely to seek treatment for physical symptoms than mental health concerns, which can delay the proper diagnosis and treatment of depression.

Biologically, there may also be gender differences in how depression manifests in the brain. While research into this area is still evolving, some studies suggest that hormonal differences, such as lower levels of serotonin (a neurotransmitter associated with mood regulation) in men, may contribute to their experience of depression. Men may also be less likely to engage in rumination, a process of repetitive negative thinking that is often associated with depression, which might make it harder for them to recognize the mental health issue at the root of their symptoms.

The Impact of Emotional Suppression: Long-Term Consequences

Suppressing emotions or avoiding the admission of depression is not without its consequences. Research into emotion regulation shows that when individuals suppress or avoid negative feelings, they may experience heightened stress, anxiety, and depression in the long run. In men, this emotional suppression can manifest as increased hostility, aggression, or alcohol/substance abuse as a way of coping with emotional pain. These maladaptive coping mechanisms can further entrench the cycle of mental health issues, making it even harder for men to acknowledge their depression and seek treatment.

Additionally, the lack of emotional expression and vulnerability in relationships can lead to attachment issues. Men who suppress their emotions may have difficulty forming close, intimate relationships, leading to feelings of social isolation and loneliness—two factors that can worsen depression. Social support is one of the most significant protective factors against depression, and by not seeking help or confiding in others, men deprive themselves of this critical resource.

Breaking the Silence: Changing the Narrative Around Men’s Mental Health

The key to helping men admit they’re depressed is to change the cultural narrative surrounding masculinity and mental health. First, we must challenge the gender stereotypes that equate vulnerability with weakness and emotional expression with femininity. By encouraging men to view emotional openness as a sign of strength, we can help dismantle the barriers to mental health awareness.

Creating safe spaces for men to talk about their feelings without fear of judgment or shame is also essential. Therapy, support groups, and community programs that address men’s mental health in a compassionate, non-judgmental way can play a pivotal role in helping men feel comfortable acknowledging their struggles. Public figures, mental health advocates, and organizations can also help by normalizing discussions about men’s mental health, showing that seeking help is not only okay but necessary for well-being.

Conclusion

Men’s struggle to admit they’re depressed is a complex issue, shaped by cultural, societal, and psychological factors. From the expectations placed on them to be stoic and self-reliant to the stigma surrounding mental health, many men find it difficult to acknowledge their emotional distress. However, understanding these barriers is the first step toward creating a more supportive environment for men to seek help. By challenging harmful gender norms, encouraging emotional expression, and providing accessible mental health resources, we can help men feel empowered to admit they’re struggling and take the necessary steps to heal.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms.  Mansi, Counselling Psychologist.

References

• Addis, M. E. (2008). Gender and depression in men. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 15(3), 153-168.
• Galdas, P. M., Cheater, F., & Marshall, P. (2005). Men and health help-seeking behaviour: Literature review. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 49(6), 616-623.