Why Pronouns Matter: Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, Respect, and Understanding

June 27 2025 TalktoAngel 0 comments 528 Views

In today’s diverse world, small actions can have a big impact. One such action is using the correct pronouns for others. While it might seem like a simple word choice, using someone’s correct pronouns is deeply connected to respect, inclusion, equity, and mental well-being.

Pronouns such as he/him, she/her, they/them, or other self-identified pronouns represent a person’s identity. Respecting and using someone’s chosen pronouns is a way of affirming their identity and making them feel seen and valued. In counselling and psychology, understanding the importance of pronouns is key to creating safe, inclusive spaces for all.

What Are Pronouns?

Pronouns are words we use to refer to someone without using their name. For example:

He is walking to the store.
She loves painting.
They are coming to the meeting.

Everyone has pronouns, and most people have used them their whole lives without much thought. But for individuals whose gender identity does not match their assigned sex at birth, being called by the correct pronouns can be a deeply validating experience.

Pronouns and Identity

A person’s pronouns express their gender identity, which may not align with how they look or appear physically. Someone may identify as male, female, non-binary, genderfluid, or otherwise, and their pronouns might be he, she, they, or something else like ze/hir.

Using correct pronouns:

Validates a person’s self-identity
Fosters emotional safety
Reduces the risk of anxiety, depression, and dysphoria

Counselling professionals emphasise the importance of pronouns in building trust, rapport, and empathy with clients, especially those from LGBTQ+ communities (American Psychological Association, 2015).

The Link to Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI)

Diversity means recognising the variety of human differences. Equity involves providing individuals with the specific support and resources they need to reach their full potential. Inclusion is about building spaces where all individuals feel welcomed, valued, and accepted.

Pronouns are a key part of this:

Diversity: Recognising that gender is not binary.
Equity: Acknowledging and respecting unique identities.
Inclusion: Ensuring people feel safe, heard, and understood.

Ignoring or misusing someone’s pronouns, intentionally or unintentionally, can lead to feelings of social isolation, disrespect, and discrimination. On the other hand, inclusive practices can improve workplace culture, therapeutic relationships, and social environments.

Respect and Psychological Well-being

For many transgender and non-binary people, being misgendered (referred to by incorrect pronouns) is more than a mistake; it’s emotionally painful. It can lead to:

Stress and anxiety
Low self-esteem
Depression
Feelings of invisibility

According to studies, transgender individuals whose pronouns are respected by friends, family, and coworkers report higher self-worth and lower levels of depression and suicidal thoughts (Russell et al., 2018).

As mental health professionals, respecting pronouns is not just ethical, it’s therapeutic.

How to Create a Respectful Space

1. Share Your Pronouns

Normalise the conversation by including your pronouns in:

Email signatures
Name tags
Meeting introductions

This signals that you are a safe and inclusive person.

2. Ask Respectfully

If unsure, it’s okay to ask:

"Hi, what pronouns do you use?"

3. Use Gender-Neutral Language

Instead of saying "ladies and gentlemen," try:

"Everyone"
"Friends"
"Colleagues"

4. Apologise and Correct Yourself

Inclusion involves fostering a sense of belonging for everyone, regardless of their background or identity. Don’t make it about your guilt. What matters is effort and learning.

Role of Counselling in Supporting Gender Identity

Counsellors and psychologists play an important role in supporting individuals of all gender identities. When therapists:

Use correct pronouns
Create nonjudgmental spaces
Advocate for inclusive policies

…they help their clients feel emotionally safe and supported. Queer Affirmative therapy practices lead to better treatment outcomes for LGBTQ+ clients (Singh & Burnes, 2010).

Understanding Builds Compassion

Sometimes people feel uncomfortable or confused about the concept of gender pronouns, especially if they’ve never encountered non-binary identities before. But discomfort is part of learning. Asking questions respectfully, doing your research, and listening to the experiences of others are all part of being a compassionate human.

Inclusivity doesn’t mean understanding everything perfectly; it means trying to respect everyone equally.

Conclusion

Using correct pronouns is a simple but powerful act of kindness, dignity, and recognition. It reflects our commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion, not just in theory, but in daily actions. Whether you’re a friend, colleague, teacher, or counsellor, your words can make someone feel either unseen or valued.

So let’s choose respect. Let’s choose understanding. Because when people feel respected for who they are, they thrive, mentally, emotionally, and socially.

Contributed By: Dr. (Prof.) R. K. Suri, Clinical Psychologist and Life Coach, &. Ms. Sakshi Dhankhar, Counselling Psychologist.

References

American Psychological Association. (2015). Guidelines for psychological practice with transgender and gender nonconforming people. https://www.apa.org/practice/guidelines/transgender.pdf
Russell, S. T., Pollitt, A. M., Li, G., & Grossman, A. H. (2018). Chosen name use is linked to reduced depressive symptoms, suicidal ideation, and suicidal behavior among transgender youth. Journal of Adolescent Health, 63(4), 503–505. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2018.02.003
Singh, A. A., & Burnes, T. R. (2010). Creating affirmative therapeutic environments for transgender clients. Counseling Today, 53(2), 48–55.