1. Do you give and receive daily expressions of negative regard for each other?
2. Are you as likely to hear or say a complaint as express an appreciation?
3. Do you hold, or feel your partner holds, an opinion that you have unflattering or embarrassing weaknesses, limitations, habits or characteristics?
4. Do you frequently worry or have anxiety about your partner or your relationship?
5. Do you feel under attack, unprotected or uncomfortable with your partner or in your home?
6. Are you commonly uncomfortable with your partner's choices, behavior and comments?
7. Do you often feel judged or judge (good or bad) what others have done?
8. Do you or your partner avoid engagement on significant issues in the relationship?
9. Do conversations often begin with a demand, complaint or criticism?
10. Do conversations frequently express criticism of you or your partner?
11. Do conversations frequently express contempt for the other's ideas, choices, values, friends, actions or things?
12. Do you call each others names?
13. Does your relationship humor make the other person the butt of the joke?
14. Does the humor used caustically point out flaws, embarrassments or judgments of inadequacy about the other person?
15. Do you rarely influence each other?
16. Do you frequently turn down or reject each other's ideas, opinions, suggestions or requests?
17. Do either of you normally deny responsibility for the consequences of your choices, actions and events?
18. Do you usually defend choices with each other through argumentation (distraction, rationalization, justification, comparison and counter-charges)?
19. Does discussion commonly end with withdrawal, where one refuses to engage or respond to the other's conversation?
20. Do you avoid engagement and discussion with your partner about certain subjects?
21. Do you rarely hear or use self-deprecating humor or expressions of gratitude, affection or appreciation to relieve tension during arguments or discussions?
22. Do you rarely hear or express affection, romance or a desire to court, touch and be touched?
23. Do you make or receive demands?
24. Are you unable to be influenced?
25. Do you have repeated arguments over perpetual problems?
26. Are you actively trying to encourage your partner to change character, habituated choices, preferences, values or beliefs, and are you being pressured to change yours?