Close the Gap Between You and Yourself

March 25 2025 TalktoAngel 0 comments 88 Views

In a world filled with constant noise, expectations, and distractions, many of us feel disconnected—not just from others, but from ourselves. Have you ever felt like you’re drifting through life, going through the motions without truly knowing who you are? Do you struggle with self-doubt, overthinking, or the feeling that something is missing?

This disconnect between who you are and who you want to be is the gap that keeps you from experiencing true inner peace and fulfillment. Bridging this gap is essential to leading an authentic and meaningful life. The journey to self-reconnection involves self-awareness, self-acceptance, and intentional self-growth. Let’s explore how you can close the distance between you and yourself and rediscover the person you were always meant to be.

Understanding the Gap: Why Do We Feel Disconnected from Ourselves?

This inner gap doesn’t appear overnight. It develops over time due to various factors:

1. Societal Expectations & Conditioning

From childhood, we are taught to conform—to fit into roles defined by family, culture, and society. We learn to prioritize others' opinions over our feelings. This often leads to suppressing our true desires, passions, and thoughts to be accepted.

2. Emotional Avoidance & Unresolved Trauma

Many people avoid their emotions because facing them feels overwhelming. We distract ourselves with work, social media, or external validation, pushing deeper issues aside. Unhealed wounds from the past can create a disconnect between your present self and your inner truth.

3. Overthinking & Self-Doubt

Negative self-talk and overanalyzing every decision create inner resistance. Instead of trusting ourselves, we seek approval, which widens the gap between who we are and who we believe we should be.

4. Living on Autopilot

We often live by routines, rarely pausing to question our direction. When we fail to reflect, we lose sight of our deeper purpose and desires. Days blur into weeks, and suddenly, we don’t recognize the person we’ve become.

How to Close the Gap and Reconnect with Yourself

Bridging this inner gap isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about coming home to yourself. Here’s how you can start this journey:

1. Practice Radical Self-Awareness

The first step toward self-reconnection is understanding who you truly are. Ask yourself:

What do I truly want in life—not what society expects from me?
What brings me joy, excitement, and fulfillment?
What self-imposed beliefs or fears are preventing my progress?

Journaling, meditation, and self-reflection help uncover your inner thoughts and patterns. The more you understand yourself, the more aligned your actions will be with your true essence.

2. Let Go of Who You “Should” Be

Are you living authentically or just trying to meet others' expectations? Society often defines who we "should" be—successful, flawless, and constantly happy. But the reality is, you are already enough as you are.

Let go of the need for external validation.
Release the guilt of choosing your path.
Redefine success based on what truly matters to you.

When you stop trying to be someone you’re not, you create space to become the person you were meant to be.

3. Embrace Your Emotions Instead of Avoiding Them

Many people suppress their feelings, fearing that emotions like sadness, anger, or loneliness will consume them. But your emotions are not your enemy—they are messages from your inner self.

Instead of avoiding discomfort, sit with it. Ask: What lesson is this feeling trying to reveal to me?
Express emotions through journaling, art, or talking to a therapist.
Acknowledge your pain without judgment. Healing begins with acceptance.

When you allow yourself to feel, you break free from emotional numbness and reconnect with your authentic self.

4. Align Your Actions with Your Core Values

A major reason we feel disconnected is that our actions do not align with our values. If you value creativity but spend all your time in a job that stifles it, you will feel an inner conflict.

Take some time to identify your core values (e.g., freedom, growth, love, honesty) and ask:

Are my daily choices aligned with what truly matters to me?
If not, what small steps can I take to change that?

Even small shifts—choosing relationships that support your values, making time for passions, setting boundaries—can help you feel more in tune with yourself.

5. Reconnect with Your Inner Child

Your inner child is the purest version of yourself, unburdened by fear or societal expectations. Think back to when you were younger:

What activities made you feel alive?
What dreams did you have before self-doubt crept in?

Reconnecting with your inner child through play, creativity, or doing things you once loved can help you rediscover joy and authenticity.

6. Cultivate Mindfulness & Presence

Most disconnection comes from either dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. Practising mindfulness can help you feel more present and engaged in your own life.

Start your day with gratitude and intention.
Practice deep breathing or meditation to calm racing thoughts.
Engage fully in small moments—watch a sunset, savor a meal, enjoy a conversation.
The more present you become, the closer you feel to yourself.

7. Seek Support When Needed

Sometimes, the inner gap is too deep to navigate alone. Seeking therapy or online counselling can help you uncover subconscious blocks, heal past wounds, and gain clarity on your path forward.

TalktoAngel offers online counselling with the best psychologists in India, guiding self-discovery and emotional healing.

Therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), DBT, Inner Child Therapy, and Mindfulness Therapy can help you bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

Reaching out for help is not a weakness—it’s an act of self-love.

Conclusion

The journey of self-reconnection is not about fixing yourself, because you were never broken. It’s about peeling away the layers of doubt, fear, and conditioning that have distanced you from your true essence.

Be patient with yourself. Growth is not linear
Honor your journey, even when it’s messy.
Trust that every small step brings you closer to inner peace.

Closing the gap between you and yourself is the greatest gift you can give yourself. When you align with who you truly are, you don’t just exist—you thrive.

Are you ready to begin your journey of self-reconnection? Seek support from TalktoAngel’s online counselling platform and let the best psychologists guide you toward self-discovery and inner healing.

Contributed by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach & Ms. Sangeeta Pal, Counselling Psychologist

References

American Psychological Association. (2020). Publication manual of the American Psychological Association (7th ed.). American Psychological Association.
Brown, B. (2010). The gifts of imperfection: Let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are. Hazelden Publishing.
Carlson, R. (1997). Don’t sweat the small stuff... and it’s all small stuff: Simple ways to keep the little things from taking over your life. Hachette Books.
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Bantam Books.
Siegel, D. J. (2010). Mindsight: The new science of personal transformation. Bantam.