Rejection and criticism are part of life. Whether it's from a job application, a relationship, or feedback on a project, everyone faces moments when they are told "no" or given negative feedback. These experiences can sting, sometimes deeply, affecting our self-esteem, confidence, and overall mental well-being. However, learning to deal with rejection and criticism in healthy ways is crucial for personal growth, resilience, and emotional strength.

Let's examine how to deal with rejection and criticism, provide coping mechanisms, and clarify how getting expert advice such as from a psychologist or through online counselling can help you get through difficult situations.

Understanding Rejection and Criticism

Rejection is when you are not accepted, approved, or chosen in a situation. It could be social, romantic, or professional. Criticism, on the other hand, involves being judged or receiving negative feedback about your actions, thoughts, or behavior. Both experiences can cause hurt feelings, self-doubt, and sometimes a fear of trying again.

Many people personalize rejection or criticism, thinking it reflects their worth or capabilities. This can lead to overthinking or depression. However, it’s essential to remember that rejection and criticism are part of growth—they offer opportunities to learn and improve.

Normalizing Rejection and Criticism

The key is to normalize Rejection as part of life rather than seeing it as a sign of failure. It’s important to realize that not every opportunity is meant for us, and sometimes, rejection is redirection to something better.

When facing criticism, it’s helpful to differentiate between constructive criticism, which aims to help you improve, and destructive criticism, which is meant to tear you down. Knowing this distinction can make it easier to absorb feedback without taking it personally.

Emotional Reactions to Rejection and Criticism

It’s natural to feel hurt, frustrated, or disappointed when faced with rejection or criticism. However, lingering too long in these feelings can be harmful. Emotions like anger, sadness, and even shame can bubble up, but it’s important not to let them control your actions or self-perception.

Here’s how to manage emotional reactions:

• Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel upset but recognize the emotion without allowing it to overwhelm you. Accepting your feelings rather than suppressing them can help you move forward.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Instead of criticizing yourself further, be kind to yourself. Consider yourself to be in the same predicament as a buddy. Self-compassion fosters healing and resilience-building.

Healthy Ways to Cope with Rejection and Criticism

Dealing with rejection and criticism healthily means responding thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively. Here are some strategies:

• Pause Before Reacting: When someone rejects or criticizes you, pause to gather your thoughts and take a deep breath. Responding immediately can lead to overreactions or defensiveness. Before choosing how to reply, give the feedback some thought and make sure you fully understand it.
• Seek Clarity: Request further information if you feel that a comment is unjust or confusing. This displays growth and a desire to get better. Politely ask what specific actions or behaviors need self-improvement, rather than assuming you did everything wrong.
• Separate Yourself from the Feedback: A lot of the time, criticism is directed at your behavior or outcomes rather than your personality or values. Instead of seeing it as an individual assault, try to view it objectively. You don't have to be a failure to fail at something.
• Learn and Adapt: Consider criticism and rejection as chances to improve. "What can I learn from this?" ask yourself. Consider all criticism as an opportunity to get better at what you do, how you do things, or how you engage with people.
• Surround Yourself with Support: Share your feelings with supportive friends or family. When you're feeling down, they may offer you support and perspective. Having a support system of individuals who think well of you makes recovery easier.

Building Resilience Over Time

Over time, dealing with rejection and criticism becomes easier. By consistently practicing the strategies above, you’ll build resilience and the ability to recover from setbacks. Resilience doesn’t mean you won’t feel the sting of rejection or criticism, but it helps you process these emotions faster and more effectively, allowing you to move forward.

When Rejection and Criticism Are Overwhelming

While it’s normal to feel upset about rejection or criticism, it can sometimes feel overwhelming, leading to anxiety, depression, or a significant drop in self-esteem. In some cases, seeking professional aid could be beneficial. Speaking with a psychologist or counsellor can assist you in resolving past rejections, navigating these emotions, and creating more effective coping techniques.

How Online Counseling and the Best Psychologist Can Help

Online counselling has become an accessible and effective way to manage emotional challenges like rejection and criticism. A trained psychologist can offer:

• A Safe Space to Vent: Sometimes, it’s hard to talk to friends or family about your feelings of rejection. You can openly communicate your opinions in a nonjudgmental setting with a psychologist.
• Professional Guidance: A counsellor can help you reframe rejection and criticism in healthier ways, breaking the cycle of self-doubt and negative self-talk.
• Personalized Strategies: Psychologists can offer personalized coping strategies that suit your specific needs and challenges. They can guide you through techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help reframe negative thinking patterns and develop more resilient habits.
• Ongoing Support: Onlicounsellinging allows you to maintain ongoing sessions without the pressure of in-person meetings, which can help you gradually build up emotional strength over time.

Conclusion

While criticism and rejection are unavoidable, they don't have to define you. By learning to handle these experiences healthily way, you open the door to personal growth and resilience. Whether it’s about understanding the feedback objectively or surrounding yourself with supportive people, you can learn to bounce back from life’s setbacks. When the process feels overwhelming, remember that seeking help from a professional psychologist through online counselling at TalktoAngel can provide the tools and support you need to navigate these challenges and come out stronger.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms Swati Yadav, Counselling Psychologist.

References

• Thomas Smithyman (2022):  How to handle rejection https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-handle-rejection-so-that-you-can-heal-and-move-on 
• Equitable Money Project: How to Take Rejection and Criticism Like a Champ https://equitablemoneyproject.com/2018/11/how-to-handle-rejection-and-criticism-like-a-cham