Abusive relationships, whether emotional, physical, or psychological, are a harsh reality for many people worldwide. The effects of these relationships often extend far beyond the immediate damage, leading to long-term consequences on a person’s mental health. Survivors of abusive relationships may experience a range of emotional, psychological, and even physical challenges that can persist for years after the relationship ends.

Loss of Self-Worth and Confidence

One of the most prominent and harmful effects of abusive relationships is the erosion of self-esteem. Abusers often manipulate their victims into believing they are worthless, unlovable, or incapable of achieving anything on their own. Over time, constant belittling, verbal attacks, and threats can lead to the individual internalizing these negative beliefs. This results in a profound loss of confidence and an inability to trust one's own judgment or capabilities.

This diminished self-worth can extend to many areas of life, including professional endeavours, friendships, and personal goals. Survivors may feel unworthy of love or support, which can make it difficult for them to form healthy relationships in the future.

Anxiety and Depression

Living in an abusive relationship can lead to chronic anxiety and depression. The unpredictable nature of an abuser’s behaviour—whether emotional manipulation, verbal outbursts, or physical threats—can create a state of constant fear and hypervigilance. Victims are often in a constant state of stress, never knowing when the next confrontation or attack will occur.

The ongoing trauma from emotional and physical abuse can contribute to the development of anxiety disorders, including panic attacks, social anxiety, and generalized anxiety disorder. Over time, the weight of this emotional burden can manifest as depression. Feelings of helplessness, despair, and a lack of control over one’s own life are common.

PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a severe psychological condition that can result from prolonged abuse. PTSD is commonly associated with combat veterans or survivors of natural disasters, but individuals who have experienced ongoing emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in intimate relationships are also at risk.

The symptoms of PTSD in survivors of abusive relationships can include flashbacks, nightmares, emotional numbness, and intense feelings of fear or panic. These individuals may feel as though they are trapped in the traumatic experience, even long after the relationship has ended. They may avoid triggers or situations that remind them of their abuser, and they often struggle to feel safe or secure in their environment.

Trust Issues and Relationship Struggles

The trust that is violated during an abusive relationship can leave lasting scars. Victims of abuse often find it incredibly difficult to trust others, including friends, family, and potential romantic partners. They may feel suspicious of people’s intentions, worrying that they will be hurt again. This distrust can hinder the individual from developing new relationships or forming healthy bonds.

Additionally, the trauma from an abusive relationship can create barriers to intimacy, both emotionally and physically. Survivors may struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, or fear when entering new relationships. The scars left by abuse can impact their ability to connect with others on a meaningful level, perpetuating feelings of social isolation and loneliness.

Self-harm and Suicidal Thoughts

In the darkest corners of emotional pain, many survivors of abusive relationships may contemplate self-harm or even suicide. The emotional toll of being in an abusive relationship often leads individuals to feel as though they have no way out and no hope for the future. For some, self-harm becomes a coping mechanism for the overwhelming emotions they are experiencing.

The risk of suicidal thoughts is higher among those who have endured long-term abuse. The constant emotional manipulation, combined with physical harm or threats, can lead individuals to believe that ending their lives is the only way to escape the pain. This is why it’s so critical for survivors to seek professional help in the aftermath of an abusive relationship, as these thoughts and behaviours require urgent attention.

Substance Abuse as a Coping Mechanism

In an attempt to numb the pain, some individuals may turn to drugs or alcohol as a form of self-medication. Substance abuse can be a dangerous way to cope with the psychological scars of abuse, as it may provide temporary relief but exacerbates the mental health challenges in the long run. The cycle of substance abuse, depression, and self-doubt can make it even harder for a person to break free from the grip of their abuser and rebuild their life.

Breaking Free and Healing

While the effects of an abusive relationship on mental health can be profound and long-lasting, healing is possible with the right support. Therapy, counselling, and support groups can provide a safe space for individuals to work through the trauma and regain their sense of self. It’s important to acknowledge that healing is not a linear process, and survivors may experience setbacks along the way. However, with time, support, and commitment to their own well-being, they can regain control of their lives.

Conclusion

In conclusion, abusive relationships can have far-reaching consequences on a person's mental health. From the erosion of self-esteem and the development of anxiety and PTSD to struggles with trust and relationship building, survivors of abuse face significant challenges. However, recognizing the mental health impact and seeking support is the first step toward recovery. With the right resources, survivors can begin to rebuild their lives, restore their sense of self-worth, and reclaim their mental and emotional well-being.

Contributed by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach &  Ms. Riya Rathi, Counselling Psychologist  

References

• Campbell, J. C. (2002). Health consequences of intimate partner violence. The Lancet, 359(9314), 1331–1336. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(02)08336-8
• DePrince, A. P., & Freyd, J. J. (2004). The effects of betrayal trauma on the self-concept. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 5(1), 1-19. https://doi.org/10.1300/J229v05n01_01
• Green, B. L., & Saunders, P. A. (2005). The impact of trauma on survivors: The importance of mental health care. Traumatology, 11(3), 65-79. https://doi.org/10.1177/153476560501100306
• National Domestic Violence Hotline. (n.d.). Effects of domestic violence. https://www.thehotline.org/what-is-domestic-violence/effects-of-domestic-violence/