Have you ever had your heart broken and felt like you were hurting, not just emotionally, but physically? Maybe your chest ached, you had trouble breathing, or you felt a knot in your stomach. Turns out there’s science behind this very real pain. Heartbreak is more than a metaphor. Your brain and body process emotional pain in remarkably similar ways to physical pain. Let’s dive into the neuroscience of heartbreak and understand why it hurts so much—and what you can do about it.

Your Brain on Heartbreak

When we experience romantic rejection, loss, or betrayal, the brain doesn’t just file that away as “sad feelings.” Instead, it sets off a cascade of neurological and physiological reactions.

• Pain Centres Activate:- A groundbreaking study from Columbia University found that when people looked at pictures of ex-partners who had recently rejected them, the same brain regions lit up as when they experienced physical pain—specifically, the anterior cingulate cortex and the insula. So, when you say “my heart hurts,” your brain genuinely interprets the loss like a wound.

• Dopamine Withdrawal:- Love triggers the brain’s reward system, particularly the ventral tegmental area (VTA), which floods the brain with dopamine, the “feel-good” chemical. This is the same circuit involved in drug addiction. So, when you lose love, your brain experiences a form of withdrawal, craving the dopamine rush that person used to bring you (Fisher et al., 2006). This withdrawal can cause restlessness, sleeplessness, lack of appetite, anger, low motivation, and an overwhelming urge to “get a fix”, which might look like obsessively checking your ex’s social media or trying to contact them.

• Cortisol Spikes:- Heartbreak is a type of acute stress, and your body responds by releasing cortisol, the stress hormone. Cortisol increases your heart rate, blood pressure and can even suppress your immune system. That’s why you might feel physically ill or run down after a breakup.

The Body Keeps the Score

Emotional trauma is often stored in the body. People going through heartbreak commonly report:

• Tightness in the chest
• Nausea or stomach cramps
• Shortness of breath
• Muscle tension or fatigue
• Trouble with sleep

This isn’t all in your head—it’s your nervous system reacting to emotional overload. The vagus nerve, which connects the brain and body, is heavily involved in this process. When heartbreak causes emotional stress, the vagus nerve sends distress signals throughout the body, especially to the heart and gut.

Why Does the Brain Link Love and Pain?

From an evolutionary standpoint, bonding with others, especially romantic partners, was crucial for survival. Losing a partner could mean losing protection, resources, or social status. So, the pain of heartbreak acts as a biological alarm system, discouraging us from repeating the same behaviours or helping us reevaluate relationships. In short, the pain has a purpose—but that doesn’t make it any easier.

How to Heal a Heartbroken Brain

• Acknowledge the Pain:- Know that what you're feeling is real. It’s not “just in your head.” Validating your experience is the first step toward healing.

• Move Your Body:- Exercise activates endorphins, your body’s natural painkillers. It also helps regulate stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, calming your nervous system.

• Practice Mindfulness:- Meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can rewire your brain’s response to stress by activating the parasympathetic nervous system—the part that helps you “rest and digest.”

• Talk it Out:- Social connection is a powerful buffer against emotional pain. Talking to friends, joining support groups, or seeking online therapy can help release built-up emotions and reframe your thoughts.

• Limit Triggers:- At least temporarily, create some distance from your ex on social media, in your phone, and even in your physical environment. This helps your brain break the “dopamine association” and detox from the relationship.

Conclusion

As painful as heartbreak is, the brain can recover. Neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to rewire and adapt—means that new experiences, new relationships, and new self-discoveries can reshape your brain’s pathways. Over time, what now feels like unbearable pain will become a memory, and your heart (and brain) will grow stronger. So the next time someone says you’re “overreacting” to a breakup, you can tell them: science disagrees.

Contributed By: Contributed by Dr. (Prof.) R. K. Suri, Clinical Psychologist and Life Coach, &. Ms. Sangeeta Pal, Counselling Psychologist.

References 

• Fisher, H. E., Aron, A., & Brown, L. L. (2006). Romantic love: A mammalian brain system for mate choice. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, 361(1476), 2173–2186. https://doi.org/10.1098/rstb.2006.1938

• Kross, E., Berman, M. G., Mischel, W., Smith, E. E., & Wager, T. D. (2011). Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(15), 6270–6275. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.110269310

• Panksepp, J. (2003). Feeling the pain of social loss. Science, 302(5643), 237–239. https://doi.org/10.1126/science.1091062