Interacting with clingy people can be challenging. Their constant need for attention, reassurance, and emotional support can be overwhelming. However, it's important to approach such situations with empathy and understanding while also setting healthy boundaries. In this blog, we'll explore effective ways to deal with clingy individuals and how platforms like TalktoAngel can provide support through online counselling.

Understanding Clinginess

Clinginess often stems from deep-seated insecurities, low self-esteem, and fear of abandonment. Clingy individuals may seek constant validation and proximity to feel secure. This behaviour, although rooted in their emotional struggles, can strain relationships. Understanding the underlying causes can help in addressing the issue compassionately.

• Establish Healthy Boundaries:- Setting clear and firm boundaries is crucial when dealing with clingy people. Politely communicate your need for personal space and explain why it's important for both of you. For instance, you can say, "I value our friendship, but I also need time to recharge and focus on other aspects of my life." Establishing healthy boundaries helps maintain a balanced relationship, ensuring that both parties have the space they need to grow and thrive.
• Encourage Independence:- Help the clingy person develop their independence and self-reliance. Motivate them to pursue interests and pastimes that they find enjoyable. This not only diverts their focus from you but also helps build their self-improvement, self-esteem, and confidence. Suggesting new activities or classes they can join can be a constructive way to support them. For example, you might recommend they join a book club, take up a new sport, or learn a new skill. Engaging in these activities can help them build a sense of accomplishment and self-worth, reducing their dependence on others.
• Practice Assertive Communication:- Use assertive communication to express your feelings and needs without being confrontational. Be honest about how their behaviour affects you and the relationship. For instance, "When you call me several times a day, I feel overloaded."  Can we agree on a schedule that works for both of us?" Assertive communication involves being clear and direct about your boundaries while also showing respect for the other person's feelings. This approach helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures that your message is received constructively.
• Offer Reassurance:- While it's important to set boundaries, offering reassurance can help alleviate their insecurities. Let them know that your relationship is important to you, but you also need balance in your life. Providing occasional positive reinforcement can help them feel more secure and less dependent. For example, you can say, "I appreciate our time together, and I value our friendship. It's just that I also need time for myself to maintain my well-being." This approach can help them understand that your need for space is not a rejection of them, but rather a necessary part of maintaining a healthy relationship.
• Suggest Professional Help:- If the clinginess persists and significantly impacts the relationship, suggesting professional help can be beneficial. Encourage them to seek counselling to address their emotional struggles. Platforms like TalktoAngel offer online counselling services, providing access to experienced online counsellors who can help them work through their insecurities and build healthier relationships. Counselling can provide a safe and supportive environment for them to explore their feelings and develop coping strategies, particularly in dealing with issues like stress, loneliness, low motivation, and self-improvement.

 How TalktoAngel Can Help

TalktoAngel is an online counselling platform that connects individuals with licensed therapists and counsellors. Through TalktoAngel, individuals can receive support for a range of mental health issues, including dealing with clinginess and building self-esteem.

• Individual Counseling:- Individual counselling through TalktoAngel can provide personalized support for clingy individuals. Therapists can help them understand the root causes of their clinginess, develop emotional control, and build self-esteem. Through regular sessions, individuals can learn coping strategies to manage their insecurities and cultivate healthier relationships.
•  Emotional Control:- One of the key aspects of dealing with clinginess is developing emotional control. Clingy individuals often struggle with managing their emotions, leading to excessive dependence on others. Online counsellors at TalktoAngel can teach techniques such as mindfulness, therapy like cognitive-behavioural therapy, and emotion regulation skills to help individuals gain better control over their emotions. Mindfulness practices, for instance, can help them stay grounded in the present moment, reducing anxiety and the urge to seek constant reassurance.
•  Building Self-Esteem:- Low self-esteem is a common factor in clinginess. Online counsellors can work with individuals to identify and challenge negative self-beliefs, develop a more positive self-image, and foster self-compassion. Building self-esteem can empower clingy individuals to rely less on others for validation and feel more confident in their abilities. Through individual counselling, they can explore their strengths, set achievable goals, and celebrate their accomplishments, which contributes to a healthier sense of self-worth.

 The Role of TalktoAngel

TalktoAngel provides a comprehensive approach to mental health support. With its team of qualified therapists and counsellors, the platform offers tailored interventions to help individuals address their specific needs. Whether dealing with clinginess, low self-esteem, or emotional control, TalktoAngel's online counsellors are equipped to provide effective strategies and support.

Conclusion

Dealing with clingy people requires a balance of empathy, assertiveness, and boundary-setting. By understanding their insecurities and offering support, you can help them develop healthier relationships. Platforms like TalktoAngel provide valuable resources through online counselling, enabling individuals to work on their emotional control, self-esteem, and overall mental well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with clinginess, consider reaching out to TalktoAngel for professional support and guidance. Remember, healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, understanding, and personal growth. Through the right support and strategies, it is possible to navigate the challenges of clinginess and foster more balanced, fulfilling connections.

Contribution: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist, life coach & mentor TalktoAngel & Ms. Mansi, Counselling Psychologist.

References

• 3 Ways to Get Rid of Clingy People. (n.d.). WikiHow. Retrieved July 31, 2024, from https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Rid-of-Clingy-People
• My clingy friend is getting on my nerves! | Psychology Today. (n.d.). Www.psychologytoday.com. Retrieved July 31, 2024, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-friendship-doctor/201009/my-clingy-friend-is-getting-my-nerves
• Sunny. (2015, June 9). Rookie» How to Deal With Clingy Friends. Www.rookiemag.com. https://www.rookiemag.com/2015/06/how-to-deal-with-clingy-friends/
• Wendt, T. (n.d.). How to Stop Being Clingy in Relationships. WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/how-to-stop-being-clingy-in-relationships