What is Cloaking in a relationship

September 03 2024 TalktoAngel 0 comments 201 Views

In the age of digital dating, new terms frequently emerge to describe different behaviours and phenomena experienced by those seeking love and companionship. One such term is "cloaking," a concept that has gained attention in recent years. But what exactly is cloaking, and how does it impact relationships? In this blog, we'll explore the ins and outs of cloaking, offering insights into its signs, reasons, and how to handle it if you find yourself on the receiving end.

What is Cloaking?

Cloaking is a dating phenomenon where one person in an online or digital interaction suddenly and completely disappears, cutting off all communication without warning or explanation. Unlike ghosting, which involves simply ceasing to respond, cloaking goes a step further by blocking or removing the other person from all social media platforms and dating apps, making it impossible to contact or even find them online.

The term "cloaking" is derived from the idea of a "cloak" or "shield," as the person who cloaks effectively becomes invisible to the other, erasing all traces of their previous interactions. This behaviour can be particularly jarring and hurtful, as it often occurs without any apparent reason or prior indication.

Signs of Cloaking

Sudden Silence: Sudden silence in cloaking occurs when communication stops unexpectedly, leaving no signs of dissatisfaction or conflict. This abrupt end can be confusing and distressing, often leaving the other person without any closure or explanation.
Blocked Accounts: Blocked accounts in cloaking involve the person cutting off all digital ties, and disappearing from social media, dating apps, and messaging platforms. This action makes it impossible for the other person to contact or find them, effectively erasing their online presence.
Deleted Messages and Profiles: Deleted messages and profiles in cloaking occur when the person removes all previous communications or their entire online profile. This erasure of evidence makes it seem as if they never existed, leaving no trace of the relationship.
No Explanations: No explanations in cloaking mean that the person disappears without providing any reason or closure, unlike in a breakup or disagreement. This lack of communication leaves the other person struggling to understand what went wrong, often causing confusion and emotional distress.

Why Do People Cloak?

There are several reasons why someone might choose to cloak in a relationship:

Avoidance of Confrontation: Some individuals find it difficult to handle confrontations or uncomfortable conversations, choosing instead to disappear rather than address issues.
Fear of Hurting Others: Fear of hurting others in cloaking occurs when a person believes that disappearing without a trace is a kinder option than expressing their lack of interest or feelings. They may think that avoiding a potentially awkward conversation spares the other person's pain, though it often leaves more confusion and hurt.
Convenience: In the fast-paced world of online dating, cloaking can be seen as a quick and easy way to end a connection without the emotional labour of a breakup.
Insecurity or Anxiety: Insecurity or anxiety in cloaking involves individuals with social anxiety or insecurity struggling with the pressures of dating. This discomfort may lead them to withdraw suddenly, choosing to disappear rather than confront their fears or communicate openly.

How to Handle Cloaking

Acknowledge Your Feelings: Acknowledging your feelings after being cloaked is important for healing. It's normal to feel hurt, confused, or even angry, and it's important to process these emotions without judgment. Accepting and understanding your feelings can help you navigate the experience and move forward. Seek Closure Within Since cloaking often leaves no opportunity for closure, it's important to find your sense of resolution. Reflect on the experience, but avoid dwelling on unanswered questions.
Practice Self-Care: Practicing self-care after being cloaked involves engaging in activities that bring joy and comfort, helping to heal and rejuvenate. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and loved ones can provide emotional support and a sense of community during this challenging time. Pay attention to signs of burnout and ensure you are taking steps to manage it effectively.
Avoid Overthinking: While it's natural to wonder what went wrong, try not to overanalyze the situation. Cloaking says more about the person who did it than about you.
Move Forward: Make the most of the experience as a teaching tool. Recognize the signs of unhealthy communication patterns and prioritize finding partners who are open and honest. This proactive approach can help prevent future burnout and support your self-esteem.

Consider Counseling

If you find yourself struggling to cope with the emotional aftermath of cloaking, seeking professional help can be beneficial. A counsellor or therapist can provide support and guidance, helping you process your feelings and develop strategies for moving forward. Online couns elling can also assist in understanding and addressing any underlying issues that may have been triggered by the experience, ultimately aiding in personal growth and fostering healthier relationships in the future.

Conclusion

Cloaking is a challenging and often painful experience in the modern dating landscape. While it's never easy to be on the receiving end of such behaviour, understanding what cloaking is and why it happens can help you navigate the situation with resilience and grace. Remember, a healthy relationship is built on communication and respect, and it's essential to seek partners who share these values. If you find yourself cloaked, take it as an opportunity for self-improvement and growth, knowing that you deserve someone who will treat you with the kindness and consideration you deserve. For additional support, consider consulting with the best psychologist in India to help navigate these emotional challenges and enhance your personal growth.

Contributed by: Dr (Prof) R K Suri, Clinical Psychologist & Life Coach & Ms. Sakshi Dhankar, Counselling Psychologist

Reference:

Davis, K. (2019). The Rise of Ghosting: Why People Disappear Without a Trace in Modern Dating. Psychology Today. Retrieved from Psychology Today.
Lee, J. (2020). The Impact of Cloaking on Mental Health: Exploring Modern Dating Phenomena. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 37(3), 245-263. Link to journal.
Smith, L. (2021). Understanding Digital Dating: The Psychology Behind Ghosting and Cloaking. The Atlantic. Retrieved from The Atlantic.