Breaking Away from the Grip of Toxic Friendship

July 28 2025 TalktoAngel 0 comments 528 Views

Friendships are often seen as essential pillars of emotional support, joy, and companionship. They enrich our lives and help us navigate through various phases of personal and professional growth. However, not every friendship contributes positively to our well-being. Some relationships may seem authentic on the surface but leave us emotionally drained, devalued, and mentally exhausted. These are known as toxic friendships, and recognising them is crucial for protecting your peace of mind.

In an era where constant digital connection often masks emotional harm, it becomes difficult to differentiate between genuine loyalty and unhealthy endurance. Walking away from a long-standing but harmful friendship can be one of the hardest, yet most courageous, steps you take. Yet, choosing your mental health over emotional turmoil is a courageous and necessary step.

What Is a Toxic Friendship?

A toxic friendship is marked by persistent behaviours that negatively impact your emotional state. Unlike the occasional disagreements that occur in healthy relationships, toxic dynamics tend to be ongoing and harmful. These behaviours can include manipulation, excessive criticism, passive-aggression, envy, or a lack of respect for personal boundaries.

Dr. Lillian Glass, a psychologist and communication expert, introduced the concept of “toxic people” in her 1995 work. She describes such individuals as those who bring you down, making you feel worse rather than better after interactions (Glass, 1995).

Common warning signs of a toxic friendship include:

Constant drama or unnecessary rivalry
Guilt-tripping or emotional manipulation
One-sided efforts to maintain the relationship
Jealousy disguised as concern or sarcasm
Frequent "honest" criticism that feels more like judgment
Ignoring or violating your personal boundaries

Feeling anxious, depleted, or undervalued after spending time with them

The Psychological Impact of Toxic Friendships

Negative friendships can take a serious toll on your mental health. Research by Umberson and Montez (2010) indicates that harmful social ties are directly linked to elevated stress levels, anxiety, and depressive symptoms. While toxic romantic relationships often gain public attention, toxic friendships are more covert and can be just as damaging, if not more so.

These dynamics may cause individuals to question their self-worth and feel undeserving of healthy relationships. The emotional confusion often leads to guilt, making people feel bad for wanting to walk away. But the longer you remain in such a relationship, the more it chips away at your self-esteem and emotional resilience.

Why We Hold On

Despite the harm, people often cling to toxic friendships for several reasons:

Shared history: Fond memories and past experiences can cloud the present reality.
Fear of social isolation: The idea of having no one—even a harmful friend—can feel worse than staying.
Guilt and obligation: Especially when the toxic friend depends on you emotionally or manipulates your empathy.
Denial: It’s difficult to accept that someone close could be causing emotional harm.

Popular culture sometimes romanticizes loyalty with phrases like “ride or die,” encouraging people to stay in unhealthy situations longer than they should. Staying loyal doesn't mean tolerating what harms your emotional health.

How to Move On from a Toxic Friendship

Recognize the Problem:- Start by reflecting on how the relationship truly makes you feel. Pay attention to emotional patterns, perhaps by journaling after interactions. If the friendship leaves you feeling drained more often than uplifted, that’s a sign something’s wrong.
Set Healthy Boundaries:- Healthy friendships respect your space and individuality. Be honest and direct about what you need—whether that’s more respect, less criticism, or emotional space. If your boundaries are consistently ignored, it's time to reassess the value of the relationship.
Reduce Interaction Gradually:- Consider reassessing how much time and effort you dedicate to the friendship. For emotionally manipulative dynamics, a slow retreat can often be less confrontational while still protecting your space.
End Things Respectfully:- Should you decide to move on, try to part ways with grace and understanding. A thoughtful message or conversation acknowledging the good times—but clearly stating your reasons—can bring closure without bitterness.
Lean on Support Systems:- Letting go is emotionally taxing. Talk to supportive friends, family, or a mental health professional to help process your emotions. Platform like TalktoAngel offer online counselling to guide you through transitions.
Prioritise Healing:- The end of any relationship brings grief. Allow yourself to mourn, reflect, and rebuild. Engage in activities that uplift you, and surround yourself with positive influences who value and respect you.

Rebuilding Your Confidence

Leaving a toxic relationship often leaves behind self-doubt. You might question your ability to trust again or feel guilty for stepping away. Remember, choosing yourself is not selfish—it’s necessary. Reconnect with your strengths, revisit passions, and practice self-compassion.

Affirmations, support groups, therapy, or simply spending time with people who uplift you can help rebuild confidence. The aim isn’t to grow resentful, but rather to grow wiser about the kind of relationships you allow into your life.

Conclusion

While toxic friendships can deeply wound, they can also teach powerful lessons in self-worth, resilience, and boundary-setting. Acknowledging that you deserve relationships built on mutual respect and kindness is a life-changing realisation.

By choosing to step away from a toxic friendship, you’re not abandoning someone—you’re honouring yourself.From there, you're better positioned to build the kind of relationships that bring genuine joy and emotional growth.

Contributed By: Dr. (Prof.) R. K. Suri, Clinical Psychologist and Life Coach, &. Ms. Tanu Sangwan, Counselling Psychologist.

References

Glass, L. (1995). Toxic People: 10 Ways Of Dealing With People Who Make Your Life Miserable. St. Martin’s Press.

Umberson, D., & Montez, J. K. (2010). Social relationships and health: A flashpoint for health policy. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 51(1_suppl), S54–S66. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022146510383501
Bonior, A. (2011). The Friendship Fix: The Complete Guide to Choosing, Losing, and Keeping Up With Your Friends. St. Martin’s Griffin.